Studying abroad: America

I just realized I've never posted anything about studying overseas. But since it's a Thursday and my class tomorrow got canceled, I thought I could write something.

Here goes nothing.

Being a Muslim Before I decided to come to Eau Claire, the one thing I'm worried about is literally how people would see me as a Muslim, wearing hijab and all. I couldn't care less about the cold temperatures, the professors, how tough the classes are going to be; all I worry about was ack they'll call me a terrorist! Ack I'll never fit in! 

Which was the silliest thing.

I came here and people treat me nicely. Nobody has ever said any racist remarks or do anything discriminatory to me - so far. Though I probably should've come better prepared whenever somebody asks why I wear the hijab and other questions about Islam because I still start the answer with an 'umm'. Not because I lack the knowledge (well, sometimes), but because I never had to answer anything to anybody in Malaysia. Everybody knows a thing or two about Islam, even the non-Muslims. Wearing tudung is the norm. So it takes awhile for me to dig up some basic knowledge about Islam, translate it in English, and then produce an answer that hopefully makes sense. 

I've had a couple of people asking is there a certain color of hijab I can and cannot wear? Which is absurd, but then again I ain't no hijabista so forgive me for wearing the same 2 or 3 tudung everytime. The good thing is though I received so many compliments on my tudung. And all I ever wear is the normal, plain tudung bawal that is literally only RM10 - RM15 at Jalan TAR. And then some people even complimented the brooches I used with my tudung! Personally I never give any thoughts on the brooches I wear, it's just to hold my tudung up, so I guess it was nice that people notice?

Another thing I've come to realize is, some people don't even know what religion I am. Some people are just that ignorant. Screw that - I hate the word ignorant. It's a euphemism for being dumb. I mean really, international students in the US should get together and write a book on dumb questions they've been asked. My contribution would be 'do you have fries in Malaysia?' 

Anyway. When I first got here, I assume people would know I'm a Muslim, but after a few conversations, I don't think everybody here knows for sure. That's why when any of my friends be like hoho Anis it's 9/11 today, did anything happen to you nudge nudge and my answer is no, because people don't connect that event to me. Which is good, I guess. Honestly, when people ask me why I wear a headscarf, that's all they mean. It's literally that - "why do you wear a headscarf?" and not "why do females have to wear a headscarf in Islam?"

And then the most frustrating part is being mistaken that I come from the Middle East. Islam is the second religion with the most followers at 1.5 billion people, and as I posted on Facebook, 62% of the Muslim population comes from the South and Southeast Asia and they see a hijab-wearing person and assume YUP she's from the Middle East, she can speak Arabic. Dude, don't.

The masjid in Altoona (10 minutes away from Eau Claire)

One of the Somalian-American malls in Minneapolis

SO this is kind of controversial but I actually went to conference for Christian students for spring break last semester (it was in Florida and I didn't have anything to do - plus it's warmer there) and I could feel some people thought ~~ooh maybe my heart is opening for Jesus~~ but it's actually the other way around. Seeing how dedicated and yes religious these people are makes me ashamed of how, horrible of a Muslim I've been ya know. These students are basically berdakwah and talking to people on the beach about Jesus. *I* personally don't even dare to do that, especially on the beach where people usually come to have fun. Where's the equivalent of that in Malaysia? They have Bible study every week and okay I've never attended a Muslim-majority university in Malaysia but I've never heard anybody joining a Quran study group. I know we have usrah and ceramah and all that but it's different than being in a group of friends discussing about God, because that's more intimate. I would love to join that. 

Sometimes I think these people managed to do one thing we haven't achieved - making Islam more, mainstream? Accessible? And we judge. Boy, we judge. Maybe that's more of a Malay thing than a Muslim but we see a Muslim girl who doesn't cover her aurat properly and we roll our eyes. We are not creating an accepting environment. And people whose heart might've opened up a tiny bit to Islam, know they're going to be bashed and just decide to run the other way. 

I've never been to a church but my (non-Christian) friends who've been always said how friendly the people there are. And that's the bait they use - being friendly and inclusive and one big happy family and maybe one day you'll succumb. Maybe one day a Muslim whose relationship with Allah is fragile will question his belief and convert. And it makes me mad!!

I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. IT MAKES ME MAD when I know there are Christian students going to other countries to influence Muslims to convert. They would say they're going for a ~culture exchange~ program when they're actually missionaries and of course they're not going to tell which exact country they're going to because it's freaking illegal.

Being a Malaysian
Speaking of Malaysia, oh negaraku, 9 out of 10 people here has no idea where it is. And yet everybody has heard of Singapore or Thailand. Out of that 9 people, 3 probably think we live up in a tree in the middle of the jungle. The irony is this town I'm at, Eau Claire, is so, so, so, so, so, so much smaller than Kuala Lumpur. The tallest building in the area is probably 10 floors high. The first time I was here, I passed by cornfields. It feels very the kampung. 

A part of me, a huge one too if I can admit it, wish I've chosen a bigger city to study in. I love this city, I really do and the people here are generally pretty nice but I want me some halal meat! When I went to Minneapolis/St. Paul/NYC, halal restaurants are aplenty. Here? Only one. It does teach me to appreciate food though, so that's the good thing. On the downside, I eat SO MUCH CHEESE it is unhealthy. Doesn't help that Wisconsin is a dairy state. Cheese is HUGE here. You can get plenty of different kind when you go to the grocery store. 

Of course, you can't talk about Malaysia without mentioning food. I'm not a picky eater but so many things here are way too sweet. Cookies and cakes are sweet anywhere but here, oh goodness, you can feel like they dump a whole bag of sugar inside. I miss spicy. One time I made rendang (from Adabi paste) and it wasn't spicy AT ALL but I gave one sip to my roommate and she said it was. I remember watching a British Youtuber's vlog and her boyfriend tried this one dish and they could ask for 1 being least spicy to 5 being spiciest. And he asked "is it white people spicy or real spicy?" and I couldn't stop laughing because IT'S TRUE. On spiciness level, 2 equals to 5 on "white people spicy". I hope I'm not offending anybody here but if you're white, you know it's true. Of course there are exceptions but most white people I know, come on, you've GOT to let your tongue burn more often. 

People always think of how cool (and expensive) studying abroad is but there's also another aspect that took me by surprise - how much it really makes me love Malaysia. The way I see it, studying abroad can make you either love your country more, or hate it more. It's the same analogy of how when you put something one inch away from your eyes you can't really see anything, but when you hold it and stretch your arm away, only then you can see it for what it is. 

And yes I hate how when I went back to Malaysia last year, I feel unsafe sometimes, like I have to guard my stuff really well (don't put your phone on the table, don't wear a bag that can be easily snatched, don't go to a parking lot alone, don't this, don't that) whereas here I feel safe. I hate the traffic jam and the bad drivers, I hate how scorching hot it can be sometimes, I hate how screwed-up our politics can be.

But I also love how we have different races getting along. I've had so many people, locals and internationals who are really impressed by that fact. Different races also means different food, religion, traditions, clothes - that makes Malaysia so colorful. Yes our weather is hot, but that also means the poor people don't have to spend a fortune on coats, mittens, boots, etc because that stuff can be expensive. We also don't have to worry about our car getting stuck in the snow or shoveling the sidewalk when it's -30C outside. Our hot weather also means crops can grow all year long. 

Denise and I at UMN's Malaysian Night, on March 1 2014

From left: Renee (from Mexico), Carolyn my roommate, and Kosei (from Japan). Dragged them to the show and so glad they enjoyed it! :)

I haven't seen a Malay dance in so long it was so wonderful to watch :')

It also makes people so united. I know we're one harmonious country and race doesn't matter but honestly, you can see the epitome of 1Malaysia when students get together, especially for an event here. I went to University of Minnesota's Malaysian Night on March 1 and I nearly damn choked up because these students don't get paid to do this stuff, as far as I know. Or even here in Eau Claire, whenever we have International Folk Fair or International Cultural Night, we represent Malaysia because we want to, not because we're forced to. And also because it's fun! I've learned so many things about Malaysian cultures that I don't even know about, or forgotten about. I find it wonderful how international students love their country so much that they have to let that love out somehow. I'd highly recommend studying abroad just for this experience. 

It's not just about playing with snow or having ang moh friends, it's about letting yourself grow without forgetting your roots.

International Folk Fair 2013

MY HOMIESSSS

Being in America

Literally everything here is microwaveable. Okay, not literally. But ALMOST everything. If you're broke and don't mind eating processed foods, you can survive having a microwave (and a fridge) all your life and you'll be fine here. I'm not gonna complain because as a college student, microwave is pretty much your best friend. Last year during winter break, when the cafe is closed, I survived on microwave foods, basically. It wasn't healthy but hey it kept me full. You can make pasta, soup, brownies, pancakes, etc. I don't do grocery shopping since I don't need to but if I really go through every aisles at Walmart, I can guarantee you can make everything in the microwave. 

Another thing I notice here is you can go everywhere with a credit/debit card, not even a single penny in your wallet and you can pay everything. Every tiny little shop accepts card, you don't even need to check beforehand. It's handy. I can't even remember when was the last time I actually use cash to pay for anything. 

Speaking of shopping, I also notice I don't get 'harassed' as much by the salesperson. You know, the kind that follows you everywhere, ready to pound you if you touch anything. Gosh I still remember when I went to Uniqlo in Mid Valley, I feel like they were just waiting for you to step one foot and then you'll be greeted with WELCOME TO UNIQLO!!!!!!!!!!!! Here they do it more of a friendly way, like oh hey welcome to  __ how are you doing today? And I very much prefer that, thank you very much. 

There are pros and cons to the education system here (I'm a journalism major and I have to take algebra, chemistry etc like dude no) but at the same time, taking a little bit of everything also exposes students to what they don't know available as an option to major in. If you think about it in high school we learned science, maths, etc but not psychology. We don't know there is a high need in the communication disorder field. The subjects we take in high school don't touch on these and so the students don't know if they'll be interested in it or not nomsain. Being able to take a little bit of subjects here and there mean you'll have the opportunity to know what interest you, and what doesn't.  

It still amazes me how our body can acclimatize so well to the weather. I mean if you come from Malaysia and plunge right into -10C weather, you'll think it's cold. But now, everybody here can tell you -10C is nothing (with no wind anyway). Only when it hits -20 or below I'll shudder. Of course when I go back to Malaysia that'll be a whole different weather to acclimate to but masha Allah, how wonderful our bodies are made. 

Snow angel and ski, check. The only thing left is: making a snowman! 


Sorry for the lack of updates but I'M GRADUATING IN DECEMBER AND I CANNOT WAIT. It's been a long journey, from primary school to college but I'm ready to be done with education. But I'm not done learning :)

Also YES I'm going back to Malaysia in summer!! I don't care that I'll be back in December again but rendang is calling my name.