all I ever wanted.

Everyone is asking me the same question.
What's next? What course you want to take? Which university? Which college? Have you applied that scholarship? This scholarship? What do you want to do in life?

What I want?

If this is Glee, just imagine me burst into this song ;

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world

And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok
Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly.



Available on iTunes soon,with all proceeds going to Haiti relief.

HAHAHA Okay no. That song was from Taylor Swift btw.

SIGH.
I want to make the right choice.
I want to study overseas, no matter what.
I want to play with real snow, instead of the fake snow at Genting.
I want to have a job that I love, I want to say 'OH YEAH IT'S MONDAY. WOOHOO!' instead of 'THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!'. Which very unlikely to happen, but still.
I want to have lots of money. haha.
I want to have a house like those in Teen Cribs. Did anyone watch that show? The houses were INSANE. IN. SANE. I was WTF-ing all the way watching it.

I just want to be happy!
The decisions I'm making now, pretty much determine my future.
I'm scared :(
I don't want to have regrets.
I don't want to wonder 'What if?'

Okay, I want to take journalism. But problemo is, I don't think that has a very, promising future? The pay, the job.
We've all heard we should pursue something we're interested in. Something we LOVE. But I , don't even know what I love anymore. =.=

And then there's TESL. Which is great, since I do love English. BUT I don't want to be a teacher. I don't think I have the patience ;P But some people said taking TESL, you won't necessarily end up being a teacher. Hrm. But after much Googling and read some forums, it looks like most of them want and be a teacher in the end. =/

I considered taking American Degree Program, at private college, but the cost is, very high and the university I will be transferred to won't really be the top universities. And I have to learn everything, the science stuff, even theater. I don't think I can handle learning Biology anymore.


I don't know what to do :|
I envy some people who KNOW what to be since they're like 12, 13 or younger. SIGH.

thank you for reading my endless rants. :)




ps; Had the most awesome dream ever last night. What's it about? I KILLED 2 ZOMBIES. Like, SMASHED THEM. One of it was a kid though. Oops. But a zombie is a zombie. Funny thing was, I remembered the rules in Zombieland. One of the rule was double tap, explaining why I stab them like crazy. Uh huh, stab. I had a KNIFE, not a GUN. Just imagine -..- MAAAAAAAANN That was a GREAT dream :)