look up, the stars are fading.

it's school holiday. yay.

which means all of my friends from asrama schools have come back. and none of them contacted me. yay.

i can't puasa because you-know-what, but it feels like i'm fasting anyway because of my braces. yay.

i really should stop whining about my braces. but i'm a teenage girl, that's what we do. yay.

i just found out who my true friends are. triple yay.

---

you know, growing up, watching all this girly, teenage movies, gives me the wrong impression.

sleepovers, gushing about boys, talking on the phone till late at night, shopping, bla bla bla. i always thought one day i'll have friendship like that. well, i kinda did. but i dont like talking about boys anyway. the 'eeeeee!! he's so cute!!' or 'omg he just smiled at me!!' . urm,, yeah. i'm not like that at all. if a guy smiles at me, i'll just assume i look like someone he knows or whatever. it's much easier. ok i did perasan la for 10 seconds. hahaha.

anyway, from what i read on chicken soup, movies, best friends 'should be' the one you can share everything, even have like inside joke and secret handshake. i never have that. (not that i really want to. secret handshake is so last decade.)

even my parents said i'm not the kind of person who opens up to people. and so i found it hard to open up even to my 'best friends'.

what is best friends anyway? someone who, oh geez, i dont know, who'll at least invite me to go to bazaar ramadhan with them? and not having my father returned from bazaar and said your best friends have forgotten about you, i saw them just now? and i, pathetically checked my phone if they sent any message inviting me only to see my inbox didnt contain any new message or missed call?

you know what, i gave up on having 'best friends forever'. in my world, it doesn't exist. as you grow up, you go along with the flow. i think i'll just make new friends and keep the old ones that actually DO want to be friends with me. someone who actually will contact me and say let's go out, let's do this together etc. and not just ME who have to plan and ask you out.

it's kinda pathetic, really. i went to my friend's myspace page when we're form 3, and her best friends are D and Z. then she went to boarding school. suddenly when we're form 4, her best friends list changed to H,G,L, whatever. i'm not really close to her, but it's sad to see her change.

well what to do. people change.

speaking of changes, in case my uh, darul ehsan classmates read my blog, i admit i did write quite a lot about ideal heights. about my ideal heights friends. i wrote like i belong there ? like i went to ideal heights since form 1.

and maybe some of you thought i've forgotten about you all. well i didn't. i can't even if i want to.

it's just, what to write about anyway? how much i miss you guys? well i only miss SOME of you. no offense. it's not like everyone misses me anyway.

i think i should stop now before i hurt more people.


:|


I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together.

- Marilyn Monroe



putting quotes at the end of a blog post, credits to martinsays.com
;p