Kill them with kindness.

Don't you just love secrets? I think everyone has one that they would never tell to anybody, even in life and death situation. Okay not 'I-broke-my-mom's-vase' kind of secret, but the kind of secret that would either 1) Make a good novel 2) Deserve one whole episode on Oprah. The one that makes you cringe on the inside and think there would be nothing worse in the world than someone finding out.

When I was in primary school, it was such a rush when my friend comes up to me and said 'I wanna tell you something but DON'T tell anyone. Pinky promise.'

And pinky promise is serious business. There's no other way around it.


Image credits : weheartit


I find it interesting how sometimes we can't tell something to our closest friends or family, yet we tell it to the whole world on the internet. Like on PostSecret or blogconfession, or sixbillionsecrets.

(Well of course I won't post any secret here on my blog, considering my parents and a lot of my friends read it. It'd defeat the purpose. But I did submit one on blogconfession ;) I don't know if they've approved it but, yeah.)

Anonymous or not, we'd choose to tell a secret to a stranger rather than a friend. At least I would. It's safer. Maybe it's easier because they don't know much about me to actually care if my secret is horrible or embarrassing. Or it's not like we'll see each other in real life, so it's not affecting our friendship or anything. You'd be surprised how much some people actually care for people they don't know on the internet.

From my experience, from the people I've gotten to know, if there's one thing I learned is we all put a mask. To get through the day. This is not even going to be an ~*~*emo*~*~ post, it's the truth. I know someone who is always happy-go-lucky and bubbly and SO cheerful that I envy her for that. But one day she told me she used to be bulimic. I was taken aback. I think she's beautiful.
We all have have that one person we wish so much we could be, oh she's pretty, she doesn't have to worry about not getting a boyfriend, or oh she's so rich, she can have anything she wants in life. In most cases though, life ain't sweet to anybody.

I guess everyone is vulnerable. Even the one we think has enough strength and confidence to last a lifetime.

We don't know what's going on in someone else's head, in someone else's life. Hell, I don't even know what's going on in my head most of the time. You see and judge someone based on what THEY CHOSE for YOU to see. Behind closed doors, when there's no one looking, who knows? The pain, the tears. The suffering they have to bear.

I think that's why it's so important for us to be kind. Not overly nice or lovingly sweet that makes people go awww everytime. Just, kind.

You can argue 'But everyone else is mean to me anyway, why should I be nice? There's so few people I can actually trust in this world.' Well the world IS mean. And unfair. And I'm not trying to be a fortune teller here but at this rate, it always will be. And people are people, and some are just raised wrongly, or mingled with the wrong people and grew up to be a pain in the society's ass. That's how they are. People will hurt you even when you try to block them out. Some people just know the exact thing they can say to hurt you deep inside.

But you can't use that excuse to be mean to other people back. Because then it will go round in circle and the world will only be one step back from being a better place, if 'better' even a word to describe the world right now.

I read a story in Chicken Soup For The Soul once, how this girl at school used to bully her. Instead of replying with snide comments back, she tried to be nice to the bully. She smiled and complimented her and not even with a slight hint of sarcasm. At some point the bullying stops. When they want to see you hurt and you're not showing any signs of it, they got tired anyway. That's what I called 'kill them with kindness.' You know, like the good ol' quote by Martin Luther King, Jr.,
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."


Image credits : Anna Amphigorously


I'm not saying I'll turn into Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi and be good to everyone I see. Some people are just annoying you can't help but to want to punch them in the face once in your life.
But you'll look at someone so differently if you suddenly found out oh his mom just died, oh he just got into an accident recently and almost died, oh her best friend committed suicide.

It's called empathy. Being in someone else's shoes.

But of course, beware of those backstabbing bitches. Being too kind is never good, people can take advantage of you. Just know the right line to walk. And well to trust people? I stll have no expertise in that area but I'm slowly learning to. But like Ernest Hemingway said, "the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." You can't walk around thinking everyone will break your trust. Believe that long enough, people won't trust you in return.



So be kind and ye shall be treated nicely in return too. Karma can be a powerful thing :)