life makes no sense.

I'm not lucky, I'm blessed.

2012-01-26T22:11:00.001+08:00

This is just a quick post letting everyone know I'm still alive. And happy belated new year, I realized I didn't even tell you guys that. No I did not make any New Year's resolution. And happy Chinese New Year. And.. what other celebration did I miss? Happy Valentine's Day. Wait, no, that's next month.

I'm SO SORRY I haven't updated in a while! I'd say I'm really busy with college and my TOEFL exam (which is true) but the fact of the matter is, I'm just lazy. There I said it. (Also, I got 101/120 for my TOEFL, which is more than enough to meet the minimum requirement of most US universities, which is 79! Alhamdulillah.)

This is the first post I've made in 2012 and I can't even make it an epic one. But I do want to say 2011 has been an incredible, amazing year for me, as all of you probably know.

I was listening to a Nicki Minaj song and the lyrics goes, "I'm not lucky, I'm blessed." THAT'S IT! That's what I am; blessed. A lot of people, left and right told me how lucky I am to win these contests and going to New York etc. And oftentimes I just don't know what to reply other than an awkward thank you. Okay luck definitely played some role here but 'blessed' is the,.. concrete definition of the things I've had the opportunity to experience.

Of course I've shed a few (or maybe a lot) of tears in 2011. But that doesn't matter. The good things that came my way have totally, totally eclipsed the bad things that happened.

If anything, I'm looking forward to 2012. (Now I realized these things were supposed to be said on maybe the first week of January, not the END of it. But oh well.) If everything goes right, I might just go to the USA again, this time to study. A LOT of people assumed I'm going to pick New York. Don't get me wrong I'm in LOVE with New York and forever will be; I'll always look at the pictures taken there with these, longing in my eyes and heartache because I just want to be able to teleport there whenever I want.

But I just, don't want to go there to study. I don't even know why! Honestly. I've asked myself the same question over and over. Maybe I don't want to, over familiarize myself with it, so that it'll always stay as this magical, faraway city where dreams come true. So.. yeah.

I actually thought of doing a vlog to make the first post of 2012 extra special but I hate hearing my voice on video and what more seeing my face and it's just a total weirdsauce so I didn't.

Here's to an awesome leap year! I would know all about leaping, because I was born on 1992 which was the year of the monkey according to the Chinese calendar. Holla.

ps; I still haven't even written part 4 and 5 of my New York post (though at this point not like anybody cares).

pss; And YES I'd never stop bragging about the fact that I went to New York. Ever. If you talk to me in real life I WILL bring it up in a conversation. (Okay not really. Not all the time but if I feel like talking about it, I probably will..)

New York! [part 3/5] ; Taylor Swift live in NYC!

2011-12-30T21:42:00.001+08:00

*There's a LOT of pictures in this post, and it might take a while to load, so you might want to get your daily dose of cuteness and watch this cat named Maru on another tab and come back after you've finished watching it, and hopefully all of the pictures are done loading :) :)

The hotel was located about 5 minutes walk from Madison Square Garden, which was very convenient. Our hotel was at 31st Street, MSG at 34th Street.

Around 5.30 p.m. we walked to Hotel Pennsylvania, which was right in front of Madison Square Garden to .. meet up with these 2 girls I managed to sell the tickets to. Online. Through tumblr, not ebay.

My dad and brother aren't big fans of Taylor Swift (neither does Abu lol) so instead of wasting the tickets I might as well just sell it! Not like they didn't want to go, but I'd rather give it to someone who's a big fan of Taylor Swift, ya know? Sorry, dad!

The actual price of the ticket was around $94 (USD, not RM), and when I checked online people were selling it for like, $250 and above! For seats about the same value as mine. Crazy, man. But I decided to sell it for $100 each :P I'm not trying to choke anybody here, so I thought that was pretty reasonable.

We communicate through emails and iMessage on my iPod since I can't sms anyone while I was there.

It was so funny though because we obviously have never met each other and were trying to like, describe what you wear, what I wear or look like etc. She described herself and her friend being blonde etc. I guess to make it easier I could've just say 'I wear hijab' and a Muslim blah blah blah but I don't want to like, freak her out :P SILLY, I know. But you know how some people are.. terrorist and all. So I just said I'm wearing this red coat and plaid green umbrella. I thought that was pretty narrow-minded of me to think that she'll think badly of me but.. yeah.

She arrived at the hotel earlier than me so I texted her back saying that we 'Got lost ugh' but then thought that sounded way too close to 'get lost' ... :x Oops.

Anyway she turned out to be nice :) And pretty too! Her name's Ashley.
It was just a quick transaction, we said hi and I took out the tickets from my bag and they gave the money, I asked them are they going straight to the concert, they said no they're gonna find something to eat first. Then we separated.

It's already 6 p.m. and I guess we could go back to the hotel and come back later at around 6.30 p.m. since both of us were SO. SLEEPY. SO, SO VERY SLEEPY. Even in the cold. But it'll probably be just waste of time so we went to KMart instead. It's sort of like, Target or Walmart, I guess? But smaller.

It's just right beside the stadium and we saw this!

There were probably about 5 or 6 of this trucks around MSG.

Stopped by the merch booth. IT WAS AMAZING. These stuff aren't sold in Malaysia and you can buy it without the freaking expensive shipping cost. WOOOOHHH!! SO EXCITED AT THE TIME.

Anyway I bought a T-shirt (I already have 3 back home lulz), the Speak Now World Tour Live CD/DVD, a 2012 calendar.. yeah I think that's it.

Then queued a little bit just to take a picture with this background lulz. They took the picture for you (which turned out blurry wtf) then asked for your email.
Also, I looked like a creepy Teletubbies.

They only scanned our code like it was at a Tesco cashier counter and we hurried off to the entrance we're supposed to go in. It was around 7 p.m.

We could hear the SCREAMING from the crowd in the stadium and the feeling was just, indescribable. The best way to explain it is by my expression above ^

Seriously that was my face before going in like I didn't pose for the camera or anything.

Then, once we enter the venue

IT WAS MASSIVE. ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE. I've never been in a stadium that huge!
Me and Abu stood there in awe for a few seconds before we could move. Then once it sets in we fangirled and screaming along too :')

The opening band, Needtobreathe. They were awesome!! Totally rocked down the house.
After this picture was taken I had a little bit of tears in my eyes. I was just in total disbelief.

This time I wasn't even trying to get into T-Party because there were hardcore fans who's all light up like a Christmas tree trying to get noticed.

And then there's me :

I called it 'Statue of Liberty gone wrong'.
DID WE LOOK AWESOME OR WHAT!? :D :D

HAHAHAHHA the 'headpiece' I was wearing was made by Abu, because we were bored. I brought like 100 glowsticks, and Abu bought another 50. We were busy bending it and 'breaking' it to make it glow while waiting for the concert to start. I had an idea to like, wear it all over my body but that would take a lot of glow sticks and after a while both of us were tired already hahah. Not to mention VERY sleepy!

I was taking a picture of Abu and Ryan when Ashley, who sat beside me asked, "Do you want to be in the picture?" So she took the picture for us :)
And btw Ryan only stayed for 2 songs, then he went out and said to us, enjoy the concert okay? WTF. Could've given that ticket to someone else! TWO SONGS only. Probably gone clubbing to some random pub lol jk.

The lights were dimmed when needtobreathe performed, then it was back on, then it was dimmed again which sent the crowd into a frenzy because they thought the concert is about to start but then it was on again -_- It's always like that at concerts! False alarm. Ugh.

Oh yeah, Abu gave a few glow sticks to Ashley as well because she didn't bring anything sparkly (though I did notice she wore a shirt she made herself, with something... Fearless written on it or something like that). And he also gave it to this couple in front of us who brought their 2 cute little kids, about 5 or 6 years old with them. One boy and one girl. 1) Because we had too many and 2) I was too shy to say anything hur hur. But they were very thankful and the kids liked the glowsticks so yay. The dad, probably in early 30s, stood up and 'swaying' to the songs a lot compared to his kids who just sat and only sometimes stand up.

Which I THINK might be because he overheard me explaining to Ryan about T-Party because he said something like a lot of people with signs. So I said whoever stood out most or go crazy throughout the whole concert will get sort of like a meet & greet.

If he overheard that, he was probably trying to score some for his kids. MAYBE. Or maybe he was a really big fan of Taylor Swift, which is awesome as well lolol.

Ohey here's Ashley (the brunette one) and her friend, whose name I don't know heh :)

People were going BATSHIT CRAZY when this was onscreen.

THE CONCERT.

Once the concert starts every ounce of sleepiness - gone. I was jumping up and down and singing along to every word I know by heart. I asked Abu to take most of the pictures because I just want to enjoy the concert fully. I did record some of the performances but then again, there's already a CD/DVD of the full concert so I don't see the point of trying. What I do try to remember was that feeling, saying to myself this is the moment I'll never forget. Taylor Swift, in New York. Out of all states in the US I could've gone, (which I wouldn't mind going, at all) - it's The One.

By the 4th or 5th song I was pancit already LOL. Tired and sat down for a couple of songs, especially the slow ones.

SORRY FOR THE BLURRY PICTURES! Don't know what setting to put the camera in and was too excited and everything.

I guess I'll just write the setlist here. (Yes I Googled these because I was enjoying the concert too much to count/take note how many song she performed :P)

1) "Sparks Fly"
One of my favorite songs in the album! She was wearing this gold, sparkly dress - so Taylor. She started the concert for her Asia tour with Sparks Fly too, but this one she just rised slowly from below the stage, with the curtain parted out from the center. The one in Singapore was like, "DROP EVERYTHING NOW" with the curtain fell down at once with her already on the stage. Which I thought was way cooler but I guess the curtain in NY was too heavy to be 'dropped down' just like that.

I don't think I even made sense but anyway I remember singing this WAY off pitch but not like anybody cares :) :)

And at the end of the show there were some fireworks, which I thought was, automatic from the stage but it was actually people, hang high above the stage, holding sort of like a torch with fireworks emitting out from it :0

2) "Mine"
She continued to the second song without saying anything, and to be honest 'Mine' is one of my least favorite songs in the album. I LOVED it at first, but after a while, meh. But it was still awesome to sing along live!

She paused before singing the bridge and made this heart sign with her hands :')

Then after she ended the song, she just stood there, looking out into the crowds, smiling and sometimes with a shocked expression on her face. I think she did this at every concert and sometimes people say she just faked it, but I don't think so. Knowing how far she has come, from a small-town girl who was bullied at school because of her passion for music, to singing to a sold-out crowd in New York City. I'm a nobody but sometimes I feel so proud of how far she has come :')

She then said, "Welcome, to the last show, of the Speak Now World Tour!" which was greeted with deafening screaming and cheering from the crowd. She said the same thing, at the Singapore concert, replacing the 'last' in the sentence to 'first'. Which means I went to the first AND last show on the tour - and I'm not even from Singapore or the US. MWAH HAH HA.

Then she said something like choosing Madison Square Garden as the last stop on her tour, because of the awesome crowd etc etc. And also that there are millions of things you can do in New York, and that she's "glad every one of you chose to hang out with me tonight!" :) DUH, TAYLOR. AS IF THERE'S ANYTHING BETTER THAN BEING AT YOUR CONCERT, FOR FREE. TEEHEE.

Then she said, "All I wanna know is, are you ready?"
YES OF COURSE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE I WAS BORN READY!!!

3) "The Story of Us"
Half-way through the song she said something like, "I want to see all of you JUMP!"
Which of course, I jumped up and down eventhough my feet was hurting REALLY bad after walking around all day.

Oh Taylor, the things I do for you. HAHAHAH. But without you I don't know what state I'd be in, so.. Oh Taylor, thank you.

~*~*~ wardrobe change~*~*

4) "Our Song"
She changed into a white dress similar to the one she wore in the 'Mean' music video and had a side braid as well. The way she came onstage was SO CUTE! One of the dancers sort of 'turned up' this switch, and then she POPPED OUT FROM UNDER THE STAGE. Sort of like a rabbit! It was just so, CUTE. And awesome.

The only song from her first album that she performed :( I was secretly rooting for her to perform Tim McGraw because that's in my top 5 favorite songs by her but, oh well. It was an upbeat song so everybody was dancing along and it was just fun :)

5) "Mean"
I remember her introducing the song by saying something like how nice every one of her fans are, to buy her album, to vote for her at award shows etc etc. Then of course, the opposite of nice is Mean.

There were a few dancers for this song, but not like I was paying attention to them :p

Nothing like being photobombed by a stranger at a Taylor Swift concert.

~*~*~wardrobe change~*~*~

6) "Back to December" (contains elements of "Apologize" and "You're Not Sorry")
I love everything that was happening when she performed this song! First there was some sort of, 'snow' - which was idk, bubbles? coming down to everyone on floor seats. Then there's this curved bridge slowly came down, perched on top of the stage, with about 4 or 5 violinists stand on later. The lights were a soft cue of white, very romantic and all. Then Taylor, with a piano, rised above from the stage (yeah she came from below the stage often lol where else).

The dress she wore was so beautiful! LOVE IT. My favorite part was of course when she mixed 'Apologize' by One Republic and her song 'You're Not Sorry' into it. Especially when the lights changed to deep, blood red when the latter song was performed. AWESOME.

~*~*~wardrobe change~*~*~*

7) "Better Than Revenge"
Same like Singapore, it started with the girl who 'supposedly' stole Taylor's boyfriend leaving a voicemail saying "Hey, it's me. Leave a message. Make it hot."

Uhm,.. yeah I don't know what to say about this. It was just a great song to sing along to! Not that I can relate because so far no bitch has stolen my boyfriend before..

HAHAHA this is me jumping up and down and singing along :'D

Then the song ended with her 2 guitar players sort of battle it out (with their guitar skills, not as in punching each other l o l) with Taylor of course going through another ;

~*~*~wardrobe change~*~*~*

8) "Speak Now"
This song is not one of my favorites either but it's just a cute song c: Started with a 'bitchy' bride emerged from the center of the T stage, with her big puffy white wedding dress, then kinda like walked down the aisle towards the stairs where the groom and the priest await.

Then the song starts with Taylor singing how the groom should not be 'marrying the wrong girl.' The little dance Taylor and her 2 back-up dancers did was SO adorable!

The song ended with 'Let's runaway now....' and that's when she walked down to the crowds. It must be so fun for everyone on the floor seats where she passed by but for everyone else, idk it was just awkward -..- "Great those people get to touch her and see her upclose let's just wait here.." It wasn't a total silence though, like the song Speak Now was still playing in the background.

Eventually, she arrived at the back of the stadium, sitting beneath this huge, sparkly tree. Any song performed on this little stage was pretty much acoustic.

9) "Fearless" (contains elements of "Hey, Soul Sister" and "I'm Yours")
I love what she said before she performed this song, like 'being in love is fearless' or something like that. The song sounded awesome with just ukulele!

10) "Last Kiss"
ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS. She didn't perform this in Singapore so I was pretty stoked to hear this one live! I've seen the performance on Youtube where she just looked so, heartbroken when she performs this :( Damn you, Joe _|_

Everything about the performance was FLAWLESS.

11) "You Belong with Me"
I'd rather hear Tim McGraw than this one but I guess this is one of the songs that skyrockets her popularity and increased her fanbase, so. There were definitely more people singing along to this song than Last Kiss -..-

Then halfway through the song she went back to the main stage, also going through the crowds on the other side. As in she went to the right side of the stage when she came down, but then went to left side to go back to the mainstage. So it's fair, I guess.

12) "Dear John"
I have a love/hate relationship with this song. If you read my Singapore post - it was during that song that the girls behind me got chosen for T-Party, and I didn't. I was THISCLOSE. SO, SO CLOSE :(
But for this concert, the people in my area weren't singing along as loud to Dear John, mostly just standing up and swaying. So I, in the silence, just SCREAMED THE LYRICS to the song. Like OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD screaming, not in the correct tempo or pitch for the song. All of the people 2 rows in front me all turned their heads and looked at me HAHAHAH. And even then, I just continue SCREAMING "DEEEEEEEAAAAR JOOOOOOOOHHHN, I SEEEEEEEE IT ALL NOW THAT YOU'RE GONNNNNNNEEEEE"

Then me and Abu laughed so hard. Fun times, fun times :)
So I hated the song in Singapore, but loved it in New York. Wooot. And the background is still SO pretty!

JYEAAAHH GO TAYLOR!

Not to mention the fireworks after 'I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town' was literally A BLAST. The fireworks lasted for probably like 30 seconds.

13) "Who Says"
Taylor said something like, the tour won't be complete without performing with her best friend, who she has never performed with before. In my mind I thought OMG COLBIE CAILLAT!?!?!!! Because they wrote a song called Breathe together, and it's one of my favorites as well! But then "It just so happens, it just so happens.. that Selena is here!"

Selena to the Gomez. Well.. I'm not a big fan but they sang Who Says together, which is pretty much MY JAM. So the crowd was cheering so, so loud! Luckily it wasn't Justin Bieber. I would need my earplugs for that. But yep according to my friend Melinda, whose seat was way in front of me and can see the side of the stage, everyone in her section could see Justin Bieber was backstage.

PHEW LUCKY HE DIDN'T COME OUT. Well actually because Justin did perform at one of Taylor's concert before.

I may not love Selena as much but I totally adore their friendship!

~*~*~wardrobe change~*~*~*

14) "Enchanted"
So the 'bitchy bride' earlier is now a beautiful ballerina twirling around and dancing onstage with other dancers, accompanied by a violin solo by Caitlin Evanson, who's in Taylor's band and also her best friend. It sounded so, so, so beautiful. I'd love to be able to play the violin but.. yeah dream on.

Taylor wore this beautiful long, sparkly dress and sounded exactly like in the album.

Also, right after this, my camera battery ran out. Oh well. The only thing left to do was taking mental pictures and enjoy the concert. Sometimes we try to turn it on and manage to take one or two pictures, then it died.

~*~*~wardrobe change~*~*~*

15) "Haunted"
Just like Last Kiss, one of my favorite songs and she didn't perform this in Singapore. She had this huge bell and she supposedly hit it, gong style, but it was all just sound effect because there's someone inside. Again, she wore a red dress though different from the one she wore in Better Than Revenge. Prolly coz red represents anger.

~*~*~wardrobe change~*~*~*

16) "Long Live"
She wore the dress for this song underneath the red dress, so it was just a quick change. This is THE song I couldn't listen to without feeling like crying. Because it just means so much to me. Plus it applies to Harry Potter as well. But surprisingly I didn't cry when she performed this. I also love when she sang "the crowds in stands went wild" and the crowd's screaming just got few decibels higher :)

Then the show sort of ended, because Long Live IS a perfect closing song but of course, she had an encore.

~*~*~wardrobe change~*~*~*

17) "Ours"
MY FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME. Sort of. Okay I admit I cried when this was performed. I can't even technically relate to it but the lyrics

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, my choice is you.

for some reason, just hit me. To me it's about how I feel about Taylor, like whenever I tell someone that I love Taylor Swift, some people snickers and be like, 'lol ew she always whine about love and boys and not a good singer blah blah blah'. But what they don't know is because of Taylor Swift, I don't feel so alone, ya know? She's always there for me, more than anyone I know has ever been. I could have a debate about how she doesn't just write songs about love and boys, and that she's fantastic live, but I don't care. I don't need to explain anything to anyone.

The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours.

This sort of applies to what I went through to win this contest. I fought to win the contest ~~and shove the other bitch aside~~ to be here. That moment, me being at the concert, is mine. Ours. Like I don't care what happens after this, I'll always have this moment to look back and be happy. Nobody can take this away from me, ya know?

WELP THERE GOES MY EMO RANT.

18) "Fire and Rain"
She had another 'guest', James Taylor. She told a story about how when she was small and in the choir or something like that, she hated all of the songs they had to perform except one, James Taylor - Fire and Rain. And that her mom said, "That's funny, because you were named after him." Then Taylor said "The thing about playing at magical Madison Square Garden is, anything can happen." SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I can't remember.

But of course, James Taylor walked out and the crowd went absolutely nuts. Me, being from Malaysia where country music is pretty much non-existent, has never heard of James Taylor just clapped awkwardly.

Sorry, iPod camera = crappy quality!

19) "Fifteen"
Then James Taylor still stay there on the couch with Taylor singing Fifteen. AGAIN, I cried. I don't even know what's gotten into me!

'Cause when you're 15, somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them.

Nobody even told me that they love me and I believed them when I was 15 HAHAHAHA.
But it's probably because of these;

And when you're fifteen
Feeling like there nothing to figure out
Well count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
Ive found that time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be.

I'm in that point of my life, trying to decide what I want to be, who I'm supposed to be. I'm always worried about making the wrong choices, but hey that's part of life. I can try living with that.

BUT YES, I BAWLED MY EYES OUT whens she sang that song. Seriously. Tears were literally streaming down my face. But the thing is Abu didn't even notice it hahaha. See how good I am at pretending I'm okay and faking a smile!?!! Lol jk.

20) "Love Story"

In the beginning of the song she got on this, floating platform? I don't even know what to call it but yesh she got on it and it was so cool! My seat was too far at the back but when she was right in front of me I was jumping up and down and screaming like a mad person so she would see me. I think she did. I hope. HEH.

And then comes the confetti, signaling the concert is coming to an end.
All of the dancers came out first, formed a line and waved, and bowed to the crowd. Then the band/musicians, and then came Taylor, Selena and James Taylor. All of them in a long line, and bowed together.

Then the curtains closed.

It took me a moment to digest everything in, I just saw Taylor Swift, live in concert. At Madison Square Garden.

Mind = blown.
Life = complete.

We then tried to get as near to the stage as possible to take a few pictures :P

On the way out they opened a merch stand nearby and I actually queued to buy another tshirt for my friend, but they ran out of stock so I just bought this magazine about her.

It was raining and SO, SO cold outside! Me and Melinda tried to meet up after the concert, but it was hard considering I don't have a phone with me and my iPod needs WiFi to send any message. So I was hopping from one public phone to another because some doesn't work. Ended up just going back to the hotel and received a message from Melinda, saying she doesn't have anywhere to go but then everything's solved so.. yeah.

All the sleepiness came back at once and I slept like a baby.

I didn't suffer from post-concert depression few days after that, but blogging about this just makes me HEARTBROKEN T___T

COMPARISON:

Taylor Swift Speak Now tour in SINGAPORE :

Taylor Swift Speak Now tour in NEW YORK CITY :

SINGAPORE :

NEW YORK :

You can see there were more stuff going on and the stage was prettier and grand-er than the simple one in Singapore. Probably because of budget and practicality issue, they couldn't flew everything like the bridge, the bells etc halfway across the world!

And yes, I am nothing but really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really

thankful and grateful and blessed to be able to see Taylor Swift twice, in the same year, both for free :) I am the luckiest girl in the world! Well, in Malaysia at least. I went for both the opening and closing show for the Speak Now tour, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the world who did that eheh.

OKAY LASTLY; somebody on formspring asked for me what Taylor Swift merchandises I own, so here they are. I'M NOT trying to show off :(

Err, yeah. Whatever everybody has an obsession!! :P :P And yep the picture on the left, near to the perfume box was signed by Taylor herself :')
I don't even care if I get make fun of because of these, at least my love for Taylor Swift got me somewhere in life - namely New York. If I wasn't such a big fan I wouldn't bother entering the contest and definitely won't get this once in a lifetime chance.
So make fun of me, make fun of Taylor Swift all you want because ~*~*someday I'll be living in ~~a big ol' city~~ New York City and all you're ever gonna be is Mean~*~*~

Any question, hit up my formspring!

HUZZAH THANK YOU TO WHOEVER READ THE WHOLE THING
THIS TOOK ME HOURS TO WRITE SOMEBODY HUG ME
LET ME TAKE A BREAK AND GO EAT SOME CHOCOLATE NOW BYE.

New York! [part 2/5] ; Empire State Building + Central Park

2011-12-29T19:49:00.000+08:00

New York Day Two.

After getting some much-needed rest, Abu and I are ready for a brand new day!
SO relieved free breakfast was provided. The food was pretty good! Small cafeteria, but cute and cozy. Luckily we went down at around 7 a.m. and I guess most people were still fast asleep.

Funny story time.
Gah I'm such a klutz. I don't remember which day, but.. I managed to almost set the hotel on fire. Sort of. Anyway, I didn't read the sign above, in black, that the toaster is only for bread, as in the single loaf. But I was talking to Abu at the time and mindlessly put in the croissant. And of course, the croissant is 'thicker' than a normal loaf of bread so the croissant was twisting around, ON FIRE, in the toaster.

Oh my God I panicked!! I was thinking of walking away and you know buat tak tahu jer but WHAT IF the fire gets bigger or something!! And so Abu told the worker there about it and she managed to get the (burnt, black) croissant out. There were a little smokes coming out and I PANICKED AGAIN thinking the smoke detector will pick it up and rain the whole building and everybody has to be evacuated. Oh God.

But, luckily, nobody was hurt, and also not that many people at the cafeteria at the time and they were unaware of the whole thing. PHEW. ~~Also one of the hotel staff was there and he was really cute ehehehehoho~~

Belgian waffle machine. This thing was SO COOL and I came to the conclusion that people just use this thing to MAKE the waffle because it was awesome, not because they really want to eat the waffle. But still, it taste pretty good!

The coffee section. The coffee was DELICIOUS. SO, SO GOOD. So many variety and free 24/7 too! Because of the cold weather that's just, heavenly.

View of the cafeteria from outside.

After we've filled up our stomachs, off to Empire State Building!
We relied heavily on Google Map on my iPod, and Google states it'll only take 7 minutes to reach there. The roads in NYC are pretty easy to navigate through, I mean everything's parallel and blocks after blocks after blocks of building. Plus Empire State Building is one of the tallest building in the world, should be easy to find.

That coffee acts as a hand warmer to be honest hahaha.

I'll just put one picture of Abu here so that people won't think I went to NY alone lolol

There were people in blue jacket in front of the entrance selling entrance tickets. We bought ticket to the Observation Deck and the NY Skyride. Total was about, $55? I think. The NY Skyride was a huge waste of money to be honest. But I'm a sucker for once in a lifetime stuff.. so. Oh well.

The souvenir shop before entering the NY Skyride.

NY Skyride was basically like, being in a helicopter simulation. All wobbly like being in a real helicopter. It was narrated by Kevin Bacon, telling that's the Empire State Building, Brooklyn Bridge etc etc. Pretty cool having a bird's eye view of NY.. but meh can do without.

Look at how cute my Christmas-y top is c: HAHAHA. Probably too early to be festive, but oh well.

Up, up and away to 86th floor! Now that's TALL. Also, I've read on SO MANY websites that the queue to ride the elevator is going to be really long yadda yadda yadda. But surprisingly it was very quick for us! Didn't think we waited for more than 5 minutes.

No picture I post here can do the real view justice. You just HAVE to be there. It was absolutely breathtaking. But it was also really really really cold!! The temperature was low, but then comes THE WIND. Man I was totally freezing out there! So most of these pictures are from Abu's camera, since my hands were literally too numb to take my camera out.

It also got very cold that we can see the fog coming out of our mouths! So jakun man.

So obviously you can't see it here but I took a video of it! HAHAHA. Maybe I'll try to post it later. By later I mean probably never.

"NEW YORK I LOVE YOUUUUU I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE, EVERRRRR"

So many taxis!

This, I believe, is the Rockefeller Center. We went there at night, on.. Day 3.

Don't know if you can see it, but the middle one is the Liberty Island! Which, sadly, we didn't go :( Not enough time! Aaahh still a little bit sad yo.

There were a lot more pictures but it'd take too much space and I already uploaded a lot on my Facebook! :) So you can check the rest there teehee.

Thinking of putting this as my blog barner.. Y/N? :p

On the way out. I LOVE THIS PICTURE!

Made this penny myself! They had this machine where you insert 2 coins then you spin the handle then the machine will 'squish' the coins together and stamped whatever design you chose! Er, yeah.

Stopped by the souvenir shop. Bought just a bookmark for me, since 99.9% of the stuff is stamped with Made in China. This one is Made in USA hahah.

The store was pretty big, though I didn't take a picture of it -.-

Waiting for the lift to go down.

Gigantic Christmas tree!

So then we head back to the hotel because it was about 12 p.m. and my dad and brother's flights landed about 7 a.m.
We weren't going to pick them up from the airport, but just to enter the hotel rooms and stuff.
Communication was a little bit tough! Couldn't use my phone and only rely on WiFi here and there to send emails to my dad. So we weren't sure whether they've reached or not.

The roads in front of Macy's were closed because they used it to prepare stuff for Macy's Thanksgiving Parade!

We reached the hotel and waited in the lobby for a while, only to find out my dad and brother are already in our hotel rooms!
So all of us rested for a while and yep my dad brought Abu's concert ticket.

We decided to go to Central Park because based on the weather forecast, it's going to rain tomorrow so we can go visit the 'indoor' stuff (like Madame Tussauds) tomorrow because then we won't have time to go to outdoor places.

We took the Subway to go there. So it was my dad and brother's first time! Me and Abu were pros already mwahahah.

We stopped by at this station, turns out just under the museum.

We already set our eyes on Central Park only, and we didn't have much time to go to the museum (concert is that evening!) and I'm not much for museums, to be honest. So we passed. There were school kids on a trip! So cool.

Central Park!

So technically we only went to the west side of Central Park, which was still SO. BREATHTAKINGLY. BEAUTIFUL.
But we didn't go to the center of Central Park where a lot of movies were filmed (including Enchanted!) since it's SO far to walk.
It's pretty cold too but still manageable. Let's feast our eyes with some ~~beautiful~~ pictures!

My dad had to go And then we saw some swings.

LOL Abu was already on the swings and me of course being a little bit OCD had to wipe it because it was wet!

And just like that, we were kids again :')

Squirrels!

We basically did a little circle around and turn back to where we came from. Stumbled upon this theater while walking out.

But then my dad had to stop for a while to use the bathroom.

And I didn't see/know it was there. So.. pretty!

So that basically it. Then we went back to the hotel (me and Abu), I think my dad and brother went someplace else, Macy's if I'm not mistaken. I remember being SO SLEEPY but couldn't sleep :(

Part 3 is going to be the much-anticipated one, Taylor Swift concert!! HEHEH.

New York! [Part 1/5]

2011-12-28T22:58:00.005+08:00

"We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we're scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish, though, because sometimes they come true." - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy.

I'm sorry there's just something about starting or ending an essay/blog post with quotes that makes everything sounds better and, dramatic. HA HA.

Hi.

If you're reading this chances are we are friends in real life (or on Facebook) or if we don't know each other, we should if you love popping bubble wraps just as much as I do.

Anyway, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone. Yes, you who reads this. Whoever likes the New York photos I posted on Facebook, though I know at least one or two people must be pissed off or annoyed. Unlike my last win to Taylor Swift's concert in Singapore, which garnered a few haters, for some reason (though she did apologize everything's good), this time everyone is just, so happy for me c: Which makes me happy, warm and fuzzy inside in return.

Creys I don't even know man I JUST LIKE EVERYBODY OKAY. YOU = AWESOME.

I'm just going to start this ~*~*New York trip post~*~* now.
Just to make it clear, me and Abu and Ryan (from hitz.fm) flew together on Monday, 21 November early morning, then my father and brother flew later that day at around 7 p.m. and arrived a day later because my dad had to go to work. K.

Disclaimer : My grammar is all over the place because this post is too long and I don't bother rereading it to correct anything, and sometimes I don't make sense, so. Just throwing that out there.

DAY ONE.

We so excited!

My flight is technically on Monday, 21 November, at 2.00 a.m. I left the house at around 11 p.m. The queue to check in was pretty long, so we just waited and since there was free WiFi, I decided to tweet about flying off somewhere and later on post about it on Facebook. People were like, Anis where are you going!? or You're going to New York!?!?! How come you didn't tell me? :( :( or Why didn't I know about this!?!? or How dare you go without telling me.. sobs.

So here's the thing. NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS TRIP. Except my family, Abu's family, aaaand my some of college friends. (The reactions from Michelle and Jun won The Best Reaction Ever - omg they were jumping around and screaming so loud HAHAHAH love it.) BUT. Other than that, I didn't really tell anyone. Not because I don't want to share it or push away my friends, because everything was SO last minute! I don't want to post I'M GOING TO NEW YORK, BITCHES!! and then something goes wrong, and everything got canceled. Buat malu jer. Things like that.

But I did post little hints about it;

This was when Jin & Ryan called me to record my voice about me winning the contest :')

Pretty sure nobody caught this. But then again, it's everybody's dream to see Statue of Liberty in person.

Moving on.

We made a transit to Dubai. So nothing much happened in the flight, except when we first came in somebody is already seated in our seats. We stood there for awhile while they sort things out, (and Abu got a picture with the stewardess -

I didn't because I looked horrible but the stewardess was like, You don't want a picture with me!? :( HEH) and we got our seats back. But then hours later we found out that the couple who sat in our seats got UPGRADED TO BUSINESS CLASS. Damn that could've been us! It was very, narrow and uncomfortable. Ya know, economy class. But whatever as long as I'll get to go to New York I wouldn't even mind sitting in the lavatory the whole time.

And Malaysian nasi lemak was served! Cool beans yo. I talked a little bit with the Chinese uncle sitting next to me. He was going to.. somewhere in Europe, I can't remember. The food served were really really good, but I couldn't finish a single thing. In fact, throughout this whole trip, I didn't finish ANYTHING I ate. Seriously. Maybe my stomach was just not up to it.

ALSO, when the plane JUST touched down in Dubai, and we were still in the airplane talking, me and Abu made a startling discovery that ABU, DIDN'T BRING HIS TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT TICKET. He thought that he gave the ticket to me which clearly he didn't, I thought it was with him. It was a case of he said she said. So then when we reached Dubai, he had to call his mother so that his parents can give the ticket to MY dad/brother because they'd be arriving 1 day after us. I wouldn't mind going to the concert alone, not my fault SOMEBODY was careless : p Also, I used the phone card to call my mom too teehee.

The layover wasn't that long, only about 3 hours+.

When we were in the waiting hall to board the flight to New York, there was this woman Abu met. I just saw them talking from afar and wondered what they are talking about. Abu was taking pictures of the plane because it was SO HUGE, then somehow they got talking and she found out that I won the tickets to see Taylor Swift and then she came to me, wide-eyed and congratulates me :) She said Taylor Swift is HUGE in the US and she said she felt like flying with a celebrity omg HAHAHA. And that this made her flight or something like that :D
She's very old, by definition, but she's alive with passion for life ya know? I can see it in her eyes. She looks like someone who travels a lot and has discovered so much about life. Gosh I want to be like this woman. She was traveling with her son. Felt awkward to ask for a picture but I'd never forget that face!

Little things like that sometimes restores my faith in humanity.

All aboard!

This flight was REALLY LONG. About 13 hours to be exact. (The total hours of flying involved = almost 24 hours! CRAZY. But the destination was very well worth it!)
Suits the size of the plane I guess, and WAS SO GLAD we got the front row seats this time! Which means more leg space and we can stretch our legs, not all cramped up. Also there were more in-flight entertainment this time!
Such as

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2!

and

The Big Bang Theory!! I remember taking this picture and thought, this is the life y'all. Thousands of feet up in the air, free yummy breakfast, watching TBBT. Life literally couldn't get any better at that moment.

Managed to watch the movie The Help, starring Emma Stone. I was miserable the whole time! Couldn't get any sleep, AT ALL, for more than 24 hours :( Not because of crying babies or anything but just, couldn't. Anyway.

FUNNY STORY TIME.
We actually entered the plane quite late, so we had to put our bags in the compartment few rows behind, because the compartment right above our head was full. So when the plane landed and Abu had to go back to get our bags, I stayed in my seat. Other people have all lined up, just waiting for the door to be open. So I stood up too. Waiting and waiting.

Rewind back an hour earlier, every passengers were given this small box of pizza. I didn't feel like eating so I planned to eat it at the hotel and I put it on my seat while I stand up waiting for the door to be open and also for Abu to get our bags.

AND THEN, this guy, who sat right behind me, who have already stand up and lining up, GRABBED THE PIZZA ON MY SEAT. MY pizza. AND EAT IT RIGHT AWAY. Didn't even ask my permission or say anything. I was too shocked to say anything O__O

He probably didn't know it was mine.. but still! Idk man I suck at telling stories but it was just hilarious I can still laugh about it today. Luckily the guy was sort of cute LOLOL. But, yeah. There goes my pizza.

So we got out of the plane and I didn't have my jacket on, and it was pretty cold! But indoor, so still manageable. We had to fill up this form, for visa purposes I guess. And they interviewed everybody one by one. So I got out fine, not many questions asked (phew I was worried man. Ya know, wearing hijjab and all.) But Abu had to go to another room where he described as being VERY filthy and there were other 'suspicious-looking men' in the room being interrogated as well. Because of his name, Abu Haziq -..- It was only like 3 minutes though then everything was fine. So then we got our bags and head out where we saw this guy, holding Ryan's name on an A4 paper. Yep the transport from the airport to the hotel was provided. 5-star treatment, yo.

Ryan still hasn't come out yet (we sat in different rows in both flights) so we talked with the.. driver a little bit. I don't think we even asked his name.. but anyway he asked us where we're from and he's actually also from Malaysia!! Penang, to be exact. But have been staying in New York for more than 20 years. He said a few words in Malay too! "Cakap Melayu? Sikit-sikit." Or something like that. I thought it was SO COOL :D

So then Ryan came and we went to the driver's car and IT WAS MAD COLD OUTSIDE. I was too lazy to get my heavy coat out and was freezing a little bit. Lucky the car was parked very near to the airport!

This is me being too excited to function.

The drive was only about 25 minutes I think, the traffic wasn't that heavy. And throughout the journey I hardly blink when I look outside. I am in New York City. Is this even real? IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? Won't lie I felt like tearing up a little bit.

EVERYTHING looked EXACTLY like in the movies and pictures. Honestly you don't have to be the best photographer 'to capture NYC'. It's all, there.

The neighbourhood area we passed through.

Everytime the car passed through a 4-way junction, you can see the long, long road left and right. It was just, surreal.

'OMG' STORY TIME.
So if you read my previous blog post about how I won the contest, how I got 7 correct answers but then I heard the sudden death round with these 2 girls who got 6 each, and how supposedly one of them won. Then I called hitz.fm and Ryan picked up, and cut story short, I am indeed the winner.

So in the car I asked Ryan, WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED EXACTLY?
Well, he brought up the subject first actually. He asked how many answers I got correct. Then he explained about what happened TO THE OTHER GIRL. The one who got the sudden death question right.

As much as I want to win this contest and wouldn't give it to anyone no matter what, I can't imagine being her. Receiving a phone call saying oh you didn't actually win, lol kbye.

Ryan explained that it was a crazy day in the hitz.fm office (which makes sense why the people there always delay to call me). And that the girl got her dad involved, and planning to sue hitz.fm, and said the contest is not fair. Uhm, hello? It never was in the first place. And whaddya know, in the end the girl actually WILL STILL get to go to a Taylor Swift concert, fully sponsored - in Australia. Because the concert I'm going to is the last concert for the Speak Now Tour in the US and will continue to Australia in March 2012.

It took me a moment to digest everything. At first I was definitely pissed off! Why does SHE get to go as well!? I'M THE TRUE WINNER! There was no second prize offered! YOU LOST, DEAL WITH IT!

But then, I look around and see the beautiful shades of leaves falling from the trees along the road. The yellow NYC cab right next to me, with Dolce & Gabbana ad on its roof. The skyscrapers ahead. And remind myself, I'm in New York City. Be grateful. Everything else doesn't matter.

I thought, psh, Madison Square Garden in New York City - Australia. NYC,.. Australia. I mean no offense to Australians, but c'mon. There's no comparison. Madison Square Garden! Where every big names, legends in the industry has performed! The last venue the late John Lennon performed before his death. You can't top that.

So I put on a smug, thinking no one can take my spot now. MWAHAHAHA. Plus, the concert in Australia won't be the same as in the US - there won't be that many dancers, the same breathtaking stage. Just like the concert in Singapore that I went to. WHATEVER, BITCH. GO TO AUSTRALIA I COULDN'T CARE LESS.

Uhm yeah. That was a little dramatic.

Arrived at our hotel.

Hampton Inn. It was small and cozy, and everything we needed. Free WiFi too! (Honestly why do hotels STILL charge for internet? Hello it's almost 2012!)
There was a little bit of a glitch at the reception counter, since they need a credit card in case we take break anything etc in the hotel room. But me and Abu don't have one. But everything was settled and of course already paid for (WOOOOOHHH) so everything worked out fine.

This is a picture from Abu's camera, meaning Abu's room (which would later be shared with my brother, I share my room with my dad). My room is about the same, though I don't know why Abu said my room's better.

The toilet. When I said my toilet uses a shower curtain, Abu mocked me saying his has a nice door. Later I found his was just a shower, mine has a nice, big bath tub! MWAHAHAHHAHA WHO'S LAUGHING NOW.

The bed was REALLY, REALLY comfy! HEAVENLY to sleep in omg. We arrived at the hotel at around, 5 p.m. and wasted NO time to explore NYC! Stayed for about an hour to freshen up and settle in, then out the door we went. YEP. Me without ANY sleep, at all. I mean with the MANY things to do in New York, sleep should be the last thing on everybody's list.

First stop, Macy's! It was only like 6 p.m.+ but it was already dark. Sun sets early in the fall, boo :(

I've set up early on the first thing I'm going to buy is Taylor Swift's perfume, Wonderstruck because it's not available in Malaysia. So we headed to Macy's, where Taylor Swift herself actually went there to promote her perfume. Means it's definitely, definitely on sale there.

It was SO. HUGE. Got lost a little bit and we were sure this is the perfume section but how come it's so small but then discovered the other entrance and ta-dah! SO MANY PERFUMES. So much cheaper than buying it in Malaysia too! Then saw Wonderstruck all stacked up right next to Justin Bieber's perfume (blargh) and asked the promoter for a sample. It smells, really sweet! But I don't care I'm buying it anyway. Bought the little boxset at $65. YAY.

Then we walked to Victoria's Secret which is right in front of Macy's. Abu bought like 7 bottles of.. idk, perfume? Lotion? Something along those lines.

Contrary to popular belief, Victoria's Secret is actually not that expensive!

Of course, Victoria's Secret is famous for their sexy lingerie but I felt, uncomfortable being in that section of the shop so I hang around in the perfumes/lotions section :P

Then we got REALLY hungry and the perfume set was pretty heavy to hold around so we decided to buy some food (there were a LOT of halal carts like these!

Food was a no-problemo at all) and then head back to the hotel to eat (because it was just by the road.. no proper tables/chairs) and put our stuff in the hotel and then head out back.

NEXT STOP : TIMES SQUARE!!
Going to NYC without visiting Times Square is like, I don't even know, man. IMPOSSIBLE. Took the subway to go there. Kinda knew it wasn't that far to walk, but just wanted to try taking the Subway! The infamous NYC Subway.

Yay me being all qt pie l o l.

Eeeepppp.

We had to walk a little bit from the Subway station, which is fine because everything was just marvelous around there.

Harry Potter!

"Look at the stars; look how they shine for you."

And YES it was as magical as I hoped it would be. Everything. The neon lights. The gigantic billboards. The people. The energy. I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. BLOGGING ABOUT THIS MAKES ME SAD.

Okay took a LOT of pictures there, but couldn't possibly post all of it here. I had a HARD time choosing just 200 photos to post on my Facebook!

Entered.. Aeropostale? I forgot which shop. Just to check stuff around.

Yay new profile picture! :P

There are a lot of pictures of Abu too, but it's my blog so I shall post just my pictures :P

We were on the billboard!!

LOOK AT ABU OMG HAHAHAH

Yay Daniel Radcliffe! Yup we saw him on Broadway!! That story coming up on.. Day 3.

So then after we've been all awed out by the magnificent Times Square, we head back to the hotel. Except the story didn't end that simple, we got lost.

And trust me, getting lost in NYC is never a bad idea. Sort of.
We stumbled upon Grand Central Station!

And also NYPL, New York Public Library which was closed. We planned to go to these places, but not like in our top priority. But hey at least we stopped by!

We saw Goku, yep the character in Dragon Ball, got in the car. I don't even know what just happened. These 2 guys in their costumes.. uh yeah. Another normal day in NYC.

The beautiful Empire State Building!

We stopped by Duane Reade, which is sort of their pharmacy? It's ubiquitous in New York! Just, everywhere. Sort of like Starbucks as well. 5 minutes walk, 1 Starbucks. Another 5 minutes walk, there's another one. Madness.

The infamous Vitamin Water, made popular by hipsters on the internet lolol. Bought one myself, taste pretty good.

Can I just say Haagen Dazs is really cheap here compared to in Malaysia!? It was like $5 a pint, about RM15+. In Malaysia that stuff is literally double the price at RM30 something! -,,-

I ended up a bottle of Vitamin Water, this sleeping pills (woot woot) in case I can't sleep that night, even after sleepless for 24 hours. But I did, slept right away once we reached the hotel.

Eventually we found our way. But it was a really really really really long walk! :( Legs were aching so bad. But no choice!

At some point I think we ended up in some sort of, ghetto area. Which was scary. But AWESOME. Nothing happened la. Somehow I felt safer walking around in NYC rather than in KL, despite the ~crime rates~ in NYC. Blah.

Bought hotdog for $2.

So yeah, we reached our hotel around, 1 a.m. I think! Slept in the super comfy bed, and woke up around 7 a.m. for another adventurous day in New York City! ;)

SO this is how I'm gonna publish the rest of the posts:

28 December - Day 1 in NY
29 December - Day 2 in NY [part 2 & 3]
30 December - Day 3 in NY
31 December - Day 4 & 5 in NY

Not that anyone cares.

ps; I turned 19 two days ago, yay!

"Y U SO LUCKY!?"

2011-11-30T21:29:00.003+08:00

Mary Oliver once said, "keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable." I don't know about you but going to New York City was definitely filed under 'unimaginable' for me. Well, to be more specific, going to New York City - for free.

There are dreams I often tell other people - like how I want to be a successful journalist or go bungee jumping or find Mr. Right. And then there are dreams I feel so out of reach or ambitious I just want to keep it to myself - and going to New York City is one of them.

And boy I did.

I went to New York.

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

I did? I really did.

I know it's NOT THAT impossible to go to New York, people go there all the time, and with enough money you can go there anytime too but I mean, I'm not rich per se. Even if I do have money I'll feel sort of guilty to splurge it on a trip like that when I can use it for other important things - my education, a car or a house later on, etc etc.

So I couldn't be more THRILLED that I won a contest that not only will send me to watch Taylor Swift live in concert - but also to go to the #1 place I've always, always wanted to visit.

I'm sorry I just still can't believe I, ANIS FILZA, a girl from an unknown small town actually WENT. TO. NEW YORK CITY. And it wasn't all just a dream. I didn't make that up. A lot of people were like DA FUQ ANIS YOU WON ANOTHER CONTEST WHY ARE YOU SO LUCKY!?

The truth is I was a top student in Potions at Hogwarts and managed to brew myself a Felix Felicis, obviously. Ssshhhh. That was top secret I never told any Muggle about but because you read my blog I guess you're entitled to know.

I wish it's just as easy as I entered a contest - I won - off flying to New York!!

NO. It's WAAAAYYY MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. It was, an emotional roller-coaster ride like I've never felt before. I swear being in a relationship with a bipolar person probably isn't this, bumpy. Not that I've been in a relationship with a bipolar person.. but uhm okay sit back. This is going to take awhile!

I guess I should blog about the trip but.. I dropped and spoilt my camera on Day 3 so I don't have the complete photos of where we went, what we did etc so I would have to wait for the pictures from my friend. So for now I'll just tell the story of how I won the contest.. because a lot of people have been asking me about that.

This is sort of, behind the scene of the whole thing ;)
This is going to be S U P E R, D U P E R long.

July/August 2011.

It all started from a text message by my awesome friend, the one and only, Satpal.
I don't remember the exact date but it must've been in July/August. He mentioned there's this contest by hitz.fm that sends the winner to catch their favorite singers (Katy Perry, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Linkin Park) live in concert, overseas. So I went to hitz's website and true enough, there it was.

All I had to do is:

1) Submit a slogan (along with my details).
2) If my slogan is chosen, I would get a call back from a hitz announcer
3) I have to answer as many questions as I can about Taylor Swift in 30 seconds. If I got the highest marks by the end of the contest, I'll win!

Sounds simple enough.

Okay let me just take a break for a second blogging about this just brings back all of the feelings back then like the hopelessness the longing the how bad I want it I'm sorry

Okay I'm back.

I was contemplating whether should I enter it or not, should I or should I not. I've been to her concert before, I've met Taylor for God's sake. But it's in NEW YORK. I loved New York way before I love Taylor Swift - FACT. I had nothing to lose.. sort of. The contest actually was sponsored by CIMB Bank as well, and I was not a CIMB account holder. IF I win the contest, I'll only get ONE ticket. Whereas if I am a CIMB account holder, I'd get FOUR. So I made an account, which is free (I think?) but I need to deposit at least RM50 in the account. But I mean RM50 is NOTHING compared to a trip to New York.. so I don't feel guilty about it now :P

In these moments before I entered the contest I turned to my good friend, Hema a lot. I think it must've been because she's a psychology major that she helped me so much, but mostly it comes down to because she's just a really really good friend. And a good listener. I love her so much :)!

It's the good ol' saying that helped me made up my mind - that you're going to regret for the things you didn't do rather than what you did. I don't want to stuck with 'what if's for the rest of my life!

I came up with 2 slogans, and after asking around which one is better, I decided to go with.. one of the slogans I came up with? HAHAH. It was nerve-wrecking when I hit the submit button. Did it go through what if they didn't receive it should I send another but if I do would that make me disqualified

I'm such a paranoid person I'm annoying myself.

18 August 2011 - Thursday.

I received a call from hitz.fm. My phone was on silent (but on vibrate) and I'm so glad I didn't miss it! If not I would never forgive myself. I freaked out a little thinking is this where they're gonna ask me questions I'm SO not ready!

Turned out they're just basically informing me any of the hitz announcer will give me a call, on Monday - to ask me the questions. Time? Don't know.

And so I Googled everything there is to know about Taylor Swift that if the subject Taylor Swift 101 is offered in college, I'd get A+ FO SHO, NO DOUBT.

22 August 2011 - Monday.

Boy this is one day I don't want to relive again! But I have to if I want to write about it.

Since the hitz.fm guy said the time is not fixed as to when they're gonna call me, I waited the whole day. I was clinging on to my phone the whole day and even in class I put my phone on the table just so I won't miss it.

Then around 12.30 p.m. I think I listened to the radio on my iPod and heard Adam (one of the announcers) called someone to ask questions about Katy Perry (meaning to win tickets to see Katy Perry). Oh my God my heart was beating so fast. I don't even know why exactly. On the website they said they're gonna call 5 people each day so that's one caller down. My turn could be anytime now!!

1 p.m.

3 p.m.

6 p.m.

Still nothing. Throughout the day I think I heard they called someone for Rihanna or Linkin Park too, but I'm not sure. But whatever I'm not competing against them so I don't really pay much attention. THEN. AROUND 8 P.M. THEY CALLED SOMEONE. FOR TAYLOR SWIFT.

AND SHE GOT 4 CORRECT ANSWERS. I WAS LIKE, HOLY GUACAMOLE. I mean not that 4 is a big number but more like they already called someone for Taylor Swift? :(((( Does that mean they're not gonna call me? I swear at that point I was ready to give up. Maybe they mixed up and forgot to call me.. sighhhh.

BUT THEN.

AROUND 10.17 P.M.
MY PHONE RANG.

And it was Jin & Ryan. THIS IS IT. I remember I was actually getting ready to go out to have dinner with my family but I stopped whatever I was doing and focus on the telephone conversation.
They actually asked me about my details first, maybe to make sure I am indeed the contestant. My IC number, phone number, address etc.

And then they asked The Questions. It was actually really simple questions, about her birthday, her album etc. Nothing too personal or anything. Like everything was on her Wikipedia page, to put it simply.

I got a total of 7 correct answers. (I actually recorded the thing when it aired - maybe I'll try to upload it here later). There was 1 or 2 questions where I couldn't hear properly and I felt like I could've gotten at least 8 marks! I used to beat myself up for it. (By now you probably think I'm so hard on myself - and you're right.)

Was I relieved that it was over? Not really. That was the first day of the contest.

The contest is gonna go on for a month.

A MONTH.

4 WEEKS.

OF SUFFERING.

23 August 2011 - 16 September 2011.

I became obsessed with listening to hitz.fm. They have a lot of advertisements and by the end of the contest I felt like I can recite each and every one of the ads I'm not kidding.

I think they sort of have a pattern as to the time when they're gonna call someone, but it's not fixed. And my heart was beating 100 beats per second whenever they called someone for Taylor Swift! I was a total wreck. On average I think a lot of people got 5, but I was nowhere comfortable with my position.

And to this day, I sort of become numb and just CAN'T STAND listening to the radio anymore unless I'm in the car. The radio in my room hasn't been turned on since then. When you listen to the radio from 10 a.m. - 12 a.m. every weekday for 4 weeks, trust me you'll be the same.

19 September - 23 September 2011.

I know this is the week they're gonna announce the winners on air so I waited patiently. At this point, from my calculation, I'm still leading. But I can't know that for sure.

One night I heard they called 2 people for Katy Perry, because it's a tie. And in case of a tie there's going to be a sudden death - whoever answered the question correctly first - he/she wins.

And then few days after that, SUDDENLY, I heard on-air, they called these 2 girls, because THEY'RE TIED WITH 6 MARKS to win the trip for Taylor Swift concert. SIX. I GOT 7. I WAS IN TOTAL RAGE. They were asked one question about this one award Taylor Swift won (which I totally knew the answer) and of course, one of the girls got it right and she screamed in total joy because she won (of course I would totally do the same, not hating her or anything).

THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME.
I MEAN, THERE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE A SUDDEN DEATH. I was the CLEAR WINNER!
I was throwing tantrum around the house (sort of). I've never been more confused, mad and sad at the same time.

After cooling down a little, I decided to call hitz. Now you should know a LOT of people are trying to get through as well. You know, it's a radio station. A popular one too. Hitz was also organizing this, revenge of the chicken contest or something at the time for people to win lots of cash.

But, just my luck, I got through on the first try.
I spoke to Ryan and when I asked about the contest he must've thought I was asking how I can enter because he was like, oh sorry the contest is over, something like that. But then I explained yeah I actually participated in the contest and I got 7 correct answers, he was taken aback for a second. He asked me my IC number etc etc and he checked in the system and then he said the next morning, the promotion manager will call me to sort things out.

At least that phone call made the night sleepable (is that even a word?).

So did they call the next morning? Of course not. I was miserable! I decided to wait till evening. And then when I called nobody picked up. Of course. Then either they called me back or I called again I'm not sure, but I managed to ask the 'promotion manager' so who actually won the contest? And the guy replied 'you'. I was ECSTATIC but I didn't exactly tweet and calling everyone I know about it. In fact after that I asked, "Really!? Can I like jump and scream now!?" he said I have to wait till Jin and Ryan call me.

And then he said they're still trying to sort things out and they'll call me again, latest end of that week (the call took place in Wednesday I think).
Did they call me end of that week? OF COURSE NOT. These mind games were driving me crazy!

3 October 2011 - 13 October 2011.

I waited till the NEXT week before I called them up again. It was in the morning and when the same guy picked up the phone, he sounded annoyed. I was like HELL, BRO YOU WANT TO BE ANNOYED? I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT 24/7 WAITING FOR YOUR CALL. Because honestly. Whenever someone called me I tried to end the phone conversation as soon as possible because I was scared hitz might be calling me but can't get through.

Again, the same answer. We're still sorting things out. FFFFUUUUU.

But FINALLY, he called me again that evening. And FINALLY, he announced on the phone that I am indeed the 'winner for the CIMB Youth Global Gig' - officially. I was in the train and I felt like I wanted to break out into a musical. After all everyone in the train will somehow magically also know the dance moves and sing along, right?

Okay maybe not. Actually I already knew, that I am the winner, so not like I was freaking out and flailing and kicking and screaming and all in the train. Then after he told me that, he asked for my email.

I wish the story continues happily with we exchanged emails regarding the details for the trip, the flights, hotel yadda yadda yadda.

NO.

It was another round of hell for me (and my dad). In the first email he basically asked me to give him the names and details of people who'll be going with me for the trip (phew glad I made that CIMB account now - I got to choose 4 people! That took me and my parents awhile to decide). Also, the concert will be on 22nd November and we'll be flying off on 20th November. That's all. After that, NOTHING.

NADA.

Except there was one night where Jin & Ryan called me just to record my voice (and air it later) saying "Taylor Swift! You belong with me! And I'm gonna see her live! WOOOOHHH"
Yeah they came up with that. I just went with it and screamed as loud and excited as I can despite having a little bit of cold but then I thought ...I may or may not just proclaimed my lesbian love for Taylor Swift on national radio by saying she belongs with me...

LOLOLOL.

I mean if it were up to me I'd probably scream "UH HUH THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHEEEES! I'm gonna see Taylor Swift LIVE in New York! You want to be me but you can't be me~~."
(The last part was sort of a song Dr. Yang sang in Grey's Anatomy when she won the hotdog eating competition... never mind.)

They were asking me like who am I bringing and stuff, and they said Ean (in the morning crew) will come along too. I thought they were joking and I jokingly replied 'whaaat I don't want him to come!'

They were serious. Oh. Awkwaaaaard. (But yeah ended up Ean didn't come, but Ryan did which is fine by me.)

Back to details about the trip.

He (the promotion manager) also mentioned in the email I would need to get my US visa, but I was waiting for him to give me the complete details as to when exactly I'll be flying off, the hotel I'll be staying etc. Plus it'll cost RM 448 to apply for one, and we (me, my dad) don't want to spend money on that if no 'solid details' were given to CONFIRM that we indeed will be flying off to New York.

2 weeks went by - STILL NOTHING. No email whatsoever.

1 November 2011.

I emailed him (his name is Nicholas, I just remembered) saying it's been more than 2 weeks, any update?
And he replied "We’re still confirming the dates for you departure…once we have a firm details I will share with you ASAP ok?

So sorry for the delay…"

Maybe it's because I was just mad but I HATE IT SO MUCH when people write ....
The so many dots! UGH. And it was 1 November, less than a month before the departure date and they still don't have any details whatsoever? How efficient.

2 November 2011.

So I decided to just go apply for a visa, maybe they'll give me the details later. It was a HIGHLY TEDIOUS process! Had to fill up a lot of forms etc etc. And then we were stuck on one question.

iv. Where will you be staying in the United States? (something like that)

Of course, we freaking don't know the answer. When I emailed the guy to know the name of the hotel, I got an immediate reply.

Saying HE'S FREAKING AWAY ON HOLIDAY.

ON. HOLIDAY.

When I'm stuck here because I can't apply for a visa because I don't know where I'll be staying and the dude. IS. OFF. ON A HOLIDAY!?

I was mad, y'all. MAD. IN RAGE.

Note that this is like, 2 weeks before 20 November and I still don't have my visa. The embassy website states it might take up to 60 days to process one. I was thisclose to losing hope! I didn't have any choice but to wait for the freaking dude who's on holiday to reply my email.

8 November 2011.

FINALLY. Look who's back from a sweet, sweet holiday. When he did give me the hotel name and address,I wrapped up the application process and next - the visa interview.

I had to book a date for the interview and the earliest date we can get is on Wednesday, 16 November 2011. SIXTEEN NOVEMBER - I'll be flying off that Sunday, 20 November. No visa, no New York. Damn I SO wish I was a Singaporean at that time - Singaporeans don't have to apply a visa to go to the States! How lucky.

16 November 2011 - Wednesday.
Visa interview.

Now the word interview is enough to give me the shivers. This one is more important than getting a job, this is what determines if my dreams are going to be realized - or broken.

We (me, my dad, my brother, and my friend Abu) arrived at the embassy around 7 a.m., because our interview is at 7.40 a.m. Quite a number of people already queued, and the line behind us was getting longer.
We had to leave our phones, camera etc at the guard house, then took our number, then got our fingerprints scanned.

Me, my dad and my brother went together, because families got interviewed as one. And omg this is one experience I'll never forget.

The interviewer wasn't, strict or anything. (Also, he looks Asian. Asian-American maybe). But he asked lots of questions such as (to my dad) why is your wife not following, why is your other daughter not coming with you yadda yadda yadda. Then I think the turning point was when my dad mentioned that we're going because only 4 tickets were given in the contest that my daughter won, another one is for her friend, to see Taylor Swift live in concert. He was like, Ooh the singer?
I had the official letter from hitz saying that I won the contest but the consular didn't want to see it! He just asked me to explain. (This is soooort of how the conversation went.)

Interviewer : Well congratulations. (I thought that was nice of him to say!) What did you have to do for the contest?
Me : I had to answer questions about Taylor Swift in the fastest time --
Interviewer : What were among the questions they asked?
Me : Like when is her birthday, her album..
Interviewer : When is Taylor Swift's birthday?
Me : 13 December.

And he actually Googled it! Omg HAHAHAHAH. He's officially cool in my book 8)
Then he said, "that was correct, December 13, which is coming soon. *computer click click* I'm impressed. How would you know THAT?" Which I replied with an awkward laugh hah hah I'm a big fan.." :))

But then shortly after that I heard : "Your visa is approved..

YAAYYYYY!

.. and you can collect it on Friday."

ALKSDHLKSHDF'LASKJDF';JASDFLKAHDFLHASLDFHASLDKFHALSDYAY

It was, perfect. Absolute perfection. The visa will be done just in time for me to fly to New York on Sunday!!! :')

I think if I ever get to meet Taylor Swift again, I'd definitely tell this story to her. She'll probably laugh her head off! So what determines if a person gets to come to the United States is my birthday!?

Speaking of perfection, I actually have a chemistry test and a presentation in the week I'll be gone to New York. That's 10% of my coursework. I was actually thinking of dropping the subject because 10% is A LOT, maybe I can retake it next semester.. (oh the sacrifices I would make for New York! Lulz.)

BUT THEN, just when I was about to ask my lecturer if there's anyway I can retake the test or something, she announced that the test AND the presentation has been brought up to earlier dates, the Thursday and Friday (meaning that Sunday I'll be flying off). Also, bless my parents for giving me a name that starts with A, otherwise my presentation would be the next week since we go by alphabetical order.

Things couldn't have worked out more perfectly. If it weren't for the stupid hitz people who keeps postponing and always 'still sorting things out' that my dad had to call the travel agency to get the flight details - the travel agency people said they've had the itinerary for a long time, just that NOBODY PURSUES THEM FOR IT. Meaning hitz (read : the Nicholas guy) could've called the travel agency and GET the details FROM them and EMAIL it to me, but noooo they're forever 'still sorting things out'. PSSHH. Lazybone! Jeopardize my dream, more like.

If not for that one thing, everything else would've been smoother! Alas, I'm still grateful.
I know I wrote that I'm mad a lot of times - because it's true - but if it weren't for hitz.fm, the trip to NYC would not have been possible. So I'm still thankful and I forgive them for the times they made me mad LOLOL.

OH forgot to mention - and just to warn that this is going to make you jealous-er (haha) - I also won a total RM 5000 spending money from hitz! :)) Which I gave half to my parents and then half for me to spend in New York, and also to like buy my jackets and other stuff for fall/pre-winter weather in New York.

Me and Abu went all the way to the Astro office on Tuesday, 15 November, the day before the interview and got lost for an hour before we actually found the place. Crazy traffic! But it was all worth it when I saw the cheque, and my concert ticket!! I'll definitely think of that moment if I were to conjure a Patronus soon. With this much happiness Dementors are bound to haunt me. Ugh.

That's pretty much it! If you read every word in this post, thank you so much and YOU, sir, are in my List of Awesome People. Next post is going to be (another super long post) about my NYC trip!! YAY can't wait to write about that... after my finals next week. Whoop dee doop.

ps; I suck at explaining so if there's anything unclear or if you want to ask me anything, hit up my formspring!

The only way out is through.

2011-11-12T22:35:00.001+08:00

So there was this one band I used to love. And in one of their songs, there's a line that goes : 'We're all addicted to something that takes away the pain.'

I thought nothing of the song at first, didn't even put it in my iPod. The first thing that came to my mind is, oh maybe addicted to drugs or alcohol or cutting, you know something along those lines. But I realized it doesn't need to be that extreme.

I look at myself and realize I have an addiction too, with internet, tv shows, books, music. Something you can escape to and forget your problems. I thank and feel grateful for that 44 minutes of an episode of The Walking Dead. The 21 minutes of The Big Bang Theory.

Or the 2 hours of a great movie. Which often starts from 'see nobody's life is perfect' to 'oh lol who am I kidding they have happy endings from where they live.'

But that can be bad thing; putting off feeling that, heartache. (Man I sound like someone who just got out of a relationship.) Like Dumbledore said, "Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."

I'd like to think all these little problems I have is nothing, I'm just being dramatic it's not as bad as I think it is blah blah blah. But curse you, sleepless nights. Eyebags in the morning. How I wish we just have an ON/OFF button.

I suddenly remembered this one quote in Tuesdays With Morrie. About detaching yourself. I love the whole chapter where they talk about emotions. It basically tells you to feel, really feel the emotions you're feeling. "Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help."

And I thought how true this is. I often hold back of what I'm feeling and be like, blah if I ignore it, it will go away soon enough. Or I feel stupid for feeling something and instead of acknowledging it, I just push it out of my mind. But it doesn't work that way. Sometimes when I'm bored or can't sleep in the middle of the night, those feelings come back to haunt. "[...] you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."

We have to learn to detach.

"All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."

"Okay. This is fear. Step away from it. Step away."

Not just fear. Frustrations, anger, sadness. Loneliness. Heartbroken. Any emotions you feel.

So that's what I'm trying to do now. When I'm sad for example, I try to get to the core, like this is how the pain in my heart feels. That feeling in your throat. The difficulty breathing, the sobbing. Let the tears flow. Just anything my body goes through, I try to make a mental note. And then I'll try to step away. It's just one of the many emotions I'm gonna feel. And even when I feel the same sadness again, I'd know when to detach myself.

"I'm not afraid of feeling [sadness], but now I'm going to put that [sadness] aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I'm going to experience them as well."

I don't watch a lot of Oprah but I know that A-HA moment when it happens. Reading that line really opens my eyes. I feel like I can control any emotions I feel now. I don't have to avoid it, but really experience it no matter how painful, how hard it hits me.

I think that's the problem with most people, they just keep the emotions bottled up inside. I don't mean bottle it up inside and not tell anyone what you're feeling, that's another different story. (Because I do it all the time too). This is about you helping yourself. In the end the only person that can help you is yourself, that's what they always told you isn't it? Nobody can help you drown yourself in the emotions and get out from it. But it's okay because you'll only come up stronger.

It's kind of like a clean break. Better to have your arms completely cut off than have it dangling around with wounds getting worse with every move you make.

"A clean break is easier. You can reset it, and it heals, and you move on, but if you leave things messy, and things don't get put right, then it just hurts, forever." - Joyce (The Little Black Book).

So that's what I'm gonna do from now. To detach myself, especially from regrets, worrying, over-thinking. Because damn it if emotions are stains, those 3 would be something even Clorox can't get rid of.

ps; I'm not exactly an eloquent writer, and that's why I borrowed a lot of quotes from books/movies, as inspirations. ~~Or maybe that's what happens when you do too many assignments requiring you to 'cite it properly in APA format' yadda yadda yadda.~~

pss; If you haven't read Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom, go buy it now. Or you can read it in pdf here for free (link opens in new tab).

Braces off!

2011-10-22T21:48:00.005+08:00

After more than 2 years of painful visits to the orthodontist, hours of trying to get the food stuck in my braces out,

I FINALLY GOT MY BRACES OFF!
Putting *drum rolls* here would probably be useless since I posted the photo on Facebook already but here it is!

I took a picture of my teeth before I got braces but then the computer got virus and the pictures were gone :(

But here's a picture of the mold:

Before:

After:

Okay I purposely resize that because it looks uglayy in HD lulz. And this is a case of it looks better in real life! I swear. Srsly guise. Srsly.

I KNOW some people are gonna say my teeth aren't that bad before, but there were more gaps if you see it from the side as well!
Word Of The Day is : weird. Still getting used to it. My tongue always just, absent-mindedly hover over this upper, right side of my teeth because that's where the food always get stuck. But now no more I kinda miss wearing braces :| Oh well.

I have small teeth :/ My mom called it gigi bertih jagung AHAHAHA
Like the popcorn kernel before it 'pops'.. yeahh.

[Image source : here]

THIS is what I've been wearing! This is like an artifact I'm going to show my children HAHAH. But we all know my children won't be needing braces as they're gonna go to Hogwarts and learn a teeth-straightening spell..
And btw if you see the, white-y stuff on the wire it's not plaque! It's the 'glue' to put it on the teeth.

Retainer! Not the 'traditional' wire one, yay. This seems cooler 8) If you read Xiaxue's blog you know she had invisalign and mine is pretty similar, I guess. I'm wearing it now actually :)

Okay well that's all peeps! Just a quick update.

ps; today is 22 October, right? Something H U G E is gonna happen on 22 November ;)) I don't want to reveal it too soon, I don't want to jinx it or whatever but yeah watch this space!

When Apple was just a fruit.

2011-10-10T22:15:00.001+08:00

I was just eating at a restaurant with free Wi-Fi and I thought, if I were to open a restaurant, I WON'T offer free Wi-Fi and maybe I'll put up this sign :

No, we don't have Wi-Fi here.
Your family/friends are in front of you.
Spend time with them, not on your Facebook. That can wait.
No need to check in on your foursquare either, nobody cares.
Unless you're a celebrity in which case our password is ____ and we'd appreciate you promoting us.

Thank you.

I love myself. LOLOL.
But seriously! What has the world come into. I see kids, 2 or 3 years old and they have an iPad in their hands. What happened to 'main masak-masak'? Or 'pukul berapa datuk harimau'? Or 'ting ting' (hopscotch)? Or 'enjit enjit semut siapa sakit naik atas'? Or congkak, batu seremban?

I grew up with that stuff. And I'm proud of that. The 'high-tech stuff' I had when I was 3 was what, playing Snake on my mom's phone? C'mon. Admit it you loved the game too. Such a bad-ass phone I tell you.

I know I can't blame the parents, what more the kids themselves, it's just how this generation works. I admit when I have my own children I'll most likely give them something similar to an iPad, or way more advanced technology to play with anyway. And while braiding their hair I'll tell them the games I played when I was little, and they'd think how weird, why would anyone want to play that? That's silly. Where's the fun in that?

Sigh, how times will change. Kinda sad if you think about it.

Speaking of iPad, and Apple-related gadgets, this may be a little late but may Steve Jobs rest in peace.

Went to Machines at Mid Valley the other day and this board was put up. Fun reading the notes, though some were plain stupid. My favorite was 'You made me love music again'. I didn't think it was possible to ya know, hate music. "You made me love music - again." I wonder what her/his story is.

ps; Sometimes when a random song gets stuck in my head with no apparent reason, ie I haven't listened to that song for ages, I didn't listen to it recently, it's not a new song, etc., I'd like to think it's actually stuck in my soulmate's head. AH HAH HAH HA. In which case my soulmate has a pretty lame taste in music. It's okay when we meet I'll give you some new song suggestions to listen to. No you don't have to listen to Taylor Swift if you don't want to.

pss; I am completely OBSESSED with The Big Bang Theory. (I tweet about it 98% of the time now and nobody gets what I tweet about). Sometimes I would smile to myself (which I think I do quite a lot these days) because I remembered jokes on the show or anything from the bloopers. Ahh seriously this show makes me so happy! And waiting for the next episode is just excruciating.

Life = made.

2011-09-29T23:02:00.015+08:00

I'm not someone who updates blog regularly and I'm very sleepy but this just couldn't wait!!

Okay so earlier today around 5.20 p.m. something, I was in the train, going back home. The train stopped at KL Sentral station and this is where 98% of the people in the train got off. I just sat there, ya know listening to my iPod when suddenly this Malay girl, a complete stranger, who was about to leave the train, approached me and asked :

Her : Anis, eh?
Me : Uhh, yeah. . .
Her : Yang blogger tu kan?
Me : Uhh, yeah. . .
[in my heart : OH MY GAWWWD WHAT. I've never even identify myself as a blogger did she got the wrong person or something but she said my name.. asldj;aslhfa'lsfdja]
Her : Ohh pernah nampak gambar (or at least that's what I think she said I couldn't hear well)
Me : Siapa. . .(I was just about to ask her name)
Her : Pernah baca blog pernah baca blog

Then she left.
I mean it's already her stop, KL Sentral and she was walking towards the door when she was talking to me and there were people behind her wanting to leave as well so we couldn't exactly chat there.

It was very brief BUT OH MY GOD.

(gif images credits to tumblr)

After she left I just beamed and couldn't stop smiling I swear people thought must've thought I was crazy. Just, in awe of what just happened :O
I didn't feel like OMG I'M SO POPULAR but more like, did someone I do not know, recognize me in public, because she reads THIS blog? I'm a nobody. I mean, what are the chances!? People with more blog followers than me probably has never had the same thing happened to them.

I admit I've daydreamed of one day someone would come up to me and say they read my blog. But I figured that was so LOL-worthy I didn't even bother daydreaming it twice. Honestly I think the chances of me meeting Johnny Depp would be higher.. well okay maybe not.

But basically that moment just made my life. To that girl, whoever you are, if you're reading this, I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU. Please leave a comment or something so I can give a shout out!.. Not that it's enough to say how much that moment really meant to me :'D)

ps; I realize I'm a terrible story-teller but it was a YOU-HAD-TO-BE-THERE kind of moment okay! Srsly guise. Srsly. It was ~magical~.

EDIT : Found her! Or more like she found me.. but anyway.

Hi Tasha! *waves*
Next time if you see me you're entitled to a free hug hehe you're so cute!
Go check out her blog here : http://purplistasha.blogspot.com/

^ see how she didn't leave her blog url in the comment but I manage to find out anyway. BWAHAHAHR.

And the Anonymous was my dad. NICE TRY, DAD. Like I said, people underestimate my stalking skills. I will always find out. ALWAYS. Hah. Hah. Ha.

In which Zomentors were born.

2011-09-28T21:14:00.018+08:00

Ever got that feeling when you have SO MUCH to do that you just decided not to do anything?
Yeeeah that's me.

As I'm typing this I have two lab reports to do, two assignments due very soon, a test next week, and a mid-terms in the next couple of weeks that includes 9 chapters I haven't read. I'm like, ~*~*so busy*~*~. Except not really. But sometimes I wonder how did I survive high school with 10 subjects to juggle when I'm only taking 3 subjects this semester and feeling so stressed out.

Anyway. This post is highly irrelevant and honestly you're better off watching videos of Maru. Maru is a cat by the way and for the record, I'd totally choose to meet Maru over meeting Lady Gaga and/or Justin Bieber.

I FINALLY got this book I've been searching for a very long time! At Kinokuniya. That book store has EVERYTHING. EVERY book. Borders, MPH, and Popular; pull yourself together man. Stop stocking on every vampire books ever published there are other mythical creatures people write about.

If you know me well enough you'd know I have this obsession with zombies. I'm obsessed with them as in I really love them, but I don't mind shooting them and blowing them up to pieces, ya know? (Omg nobody would ever want to be loved by me ;_; I swear I'm not gonna shoot you please still love me)

And I've had several dreams involving me being chased by zombies. Which is AWESOME.
The latest one, which was few weeks ago goes something like :

Me and a few friends (whose names I don't know and faces I don't recognize and remember) discovered this.. old place. And we went our separate ways, just checking the dark place out. Then, I want to find my friend (which idk for some reason is Cory Monteith) and I heard a piercing scream, and even with this sound effect you usually hear in scary movies, saying 'He has turned into a zombie!'

And then I ran. I ran as fast as I could as somehow found this.. lift. And me and a few other people just bustled in and we just push the button to go to the highest level. But then the lift was something like in Willy Wonka's factory! It can go sideways and stuff. At one point we were just floating. Like we're out of the lift, we can't move, but we're just floating to ANOTHER lift that can take us somewhere else.

Then we ended up in a shopping mall and we figured we're safe, because that was only one zombie. I think we went shopping for awhile and we checked in to a hotel, and we slept in this small room. Later that night, we heard some noises and I opened the door slightly, and saw a zombie heading our way. Left and right. We have nowhere to go! Trapped. I closed the door and we kinda freaked out a little bit and thought of jumping out of the window. But then IN MY DREAM ZOMBIES COULD FLY AND WE SAW THEM OUTSIDE.
Somehow, we just broke into a song as if it's a musical, and SOMEHOW it was the song 'One' by U2. And we try to sing that song as happy as we could, and the zombies walked away!!

HONESTLY YOU GUYS. I don't even know. It was like a zombie and a Dementor. Zomentor? Dembie? I have no idea.

But there goes my dream that made no sense whatsoever. I should write a book about this.

Everybody knows love at first sight, right? I've never experienced that but what I did experience, a lot, is what I called 'friendship at first sight' LULZ. Sometimes I just look at someone, a complete stranger, and think we'd SO get along together. Not necessarily girls, sometimes guys.. as friends, not even a crush! I've never even talked to them and we may not even have anything in common but I just want us to be friends and eat meatballs at IKEA every Friday and have sleepovers where we bake cookies and watch funny and cute baby videos on Youtube okay.

Uhh yeah now not only nobody wants to be loved by me nobody wants to be my friends either now that I'm so creepy. Le tears.

ps; (I've tweeted this but I just want to say this again because it's accurate) There's this old woman selling nasi lemak in front of my college that reminds me of Bathilda Bagshot, and she also wears a very Ozzy Osbourne-ish glasses. Which I thought was pretty cool.

Rayamore.

2011-09-10T19:26:00.027+08:00

HUZZZAAAAHHHH it's been a long time - almost a month, since I last updated my blog. It's been pretty busy in college, though I'm guessing not so for everyone else because I procrastinate everything and feels I have so many things to do when in fact I don't. Anyway.

This is going to be a very long post, so I've separated it into several parts. Click whichever your heart desires! Hah hah hah.

- click here if you want to read about Pottermore -

If you don't know what Pottermore, Google it I don't feel like explaining it here. But I was one of the one million people to be the 'BETA testers' of Pottermore (meaning the website still hasn't opened to all, they're letting small number of people in to test out the website and get feedbacks etc), and I got my acceptance letter few weeks ago! Aaaahhh it's the closest thing you can get to receiving an actual Hogwarts letter. (Which is pretty sad, if you think about it.)

Anyway I got my wand (larch, 10 inch, phoenix feather core, rigid) and of course, I got sorted.

INTO SLYTHERIN!

At first I was shocked. I've always identify myself as a Ravenclaw, I guess. I don't know, people usually called me 'smart' (el oh el) and one time in Form 3 there was this, ceremony for library prefects (which I was) and I was nominated for .. Smartest Library Prefect or something like that HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I don't even know why. Someone also once told me his first impression of me was I look smart (el oh el). That's a huge compliment! And Jolene used to say I'm one of the smartest people she knows (more el oh el moment). So I'd like to THINK that I am.. smart. Which I'm not. I'm not smart as in I get A+ for all subjects that I take. I'd like to think that I'm smart in.. knowing a lot about life from the books I read. About people. That sorts of thing.

But I've come to terms that I do have some of the Slytherin's traits. Like ambitious, determined. And how I MUST GET what I want (lulz ask my parents for that.) And no, just because somebody's in Slytherin doesn't mean they're 'evil'.

Seriously, stereotyping is such a muggle thing to do. (I feel so smart for coming up with that lolol)

I think I'd just say I'm a Slytherclaw. A combination of both. Heh.

BUT ANYWAY. I'm in the same house as Snape so everything's good in the world!! :D :D
I like the fact that Slytherin has the least number of members (as of now). Makes me feel special hahah. I'm SO gonna buy Slytherin merchandise when I go to Wizarding World of Harry Potter (hopefully next year!)

I've also made this bracelet just to show my ~*~*Slytherin pride*~*~

Okay that's all for Pottermore! :)

- click here if you want to read about Raya -

So very much like 5092734711524572 other blogs run by Malaysians this one's going to be about Raya. Whoop dee to the freaking doo.

I know I mentioned how much I oh-so-hate Raya (which surprisingly people my age can relate and feel the same way too), but to be honest this year's Raya wasn't too bad. I got to meet a lot of my friends back in high school when I was 15 [cue Taylor Swift's Fifteen here]. And we went to my parents' friends' house and hearing stories about when they were young.

Pictures time!

My (sister's) teddy bear posing with kuih raya eheheh

Because my kasut raya is more glamorous than yours :P :P
(no lah it's my dad's)
Oh yeah so this is my baju raya this year. Red/yellow because I was feeling Gryffindor-ish when I bought it bahahah

I don't even know why ._. This was at my grandfather's sister's house ? My mom's side. Can be considered our kampung but not like, we go there first day of raya or anything.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

Omg. Me and my brother were like being thrown away in a hurricane but then there's my sister at the back all posing and happy. WUT. HAHAHAHAHAH

Ew my brother's officially taller than me -...- I can fit in his shirts and shoes too. Too bad he doesn't own anything cool I can steal : p

JYEAAAHHH my Form 1 - 3 classmates.

The guys. Semua poyo je!

The girls. Semua cun je :) :) haahhaha

Sue, me and Fiqah! LOVE THEM TO BITS. (And I look chubbier than ever ew ew)

So yeah that's all pictures I got. Pictures with my friends are to be credited to Aqidah, the leftest in the all-girls photo :)

OH AND I remember this quote I found in a book I read.

HA pretty interesting. Yeeaaah I was pretty lame back then. Can just cringe at the thought of it sometimes :p

Last last Friday me and my family went to Kuantan, a day trip, and visited 9 houses. DEFINITELY one of the most tiring ever! Gaahhh and I was so full I can barely walk. Lulz not really but you get the idea.

And I never really told anyone about this but I'm saving my duit raya (and saving up more) to buy merchandises at Wizarding World of Harry Potter! Which I'm hoping to go next year since I'm going to futher my studies there (though not in Florida, where it was located). Soooo yeah that's a tad bit ambitious. Maybe that's the Slytherin in me. Eh. heh. heh.

- click here if you want to read about my el oh el moment -

The tip of my nose has been aching REALLY, REALLY bad for the last few days. I honestly can’t touch it without grimacing with pain. There’s no visible.. bump or redness or whatever. So me and my mom went to the doctor and she asked me to hold my head up, then she shined a small torchlight at my nose, and she touched at the spot where it hurts. Then she said,

“It’s a pimple.”

BUT HONESTLY GUYS

I'VE HAD LOTS OF PIMPLES BEFORE

BUT IT'S NOT AT MY NOSE

AND THE PAIN IS DIFFERENT

So then I thought can we go now without having to take any medicine lulz but the doctor decided to give me some antibiotics ._.
Now after applying lots of T3 (I HIGHLY recommend this brand of acne treatment it really works okay throw away Oxy or any other brand) it's back to normal. No more pain yay.

I remember walking out of the clinic thinking what just happened omg that was funny I'm going to tell this story to my kids. Lulz.

- so uhm, I secretly took a photo of this guy I have a crush on! hehe -

PWNED YOU!

Do you really think I'm gonna post a picture of him here bahahahah

Not that I have a crush on anyone right now anyway -...-

LOL this is fun.

Well okay that's all! If you read all four, I love you.

(credits : this chicken)

I hate Raya.

2011-08-19T20:41:00.000+08:00

There I said it. I'm not looking forward to Eid at all, unlike a lot of Malaysians who already planned what colour of baju raya they're gonna wear months ago, what colour of curtains they're gonna buy and put up, the carpets, the kuih-raya. And I'll tell you why.

1) The relatives. This is gonna be so awkward if my uncles/aunties/cousins read this. BUT. No it's not THEM I hate, it's (some) of the questions they ask.

Frequently Asked Questions - FAQ.
Belajar kat mana sekarang?
What I'll say : INTI College ha ha :)
What I really want to say : INTI College. In fact I'm already in my second year but thanks for asking now not back when I'm about to enroll.

Ambil course apa?
What I'll say : Mass comm.
What I really want to say : American Degree Program.
-I gave up giving 'ADP' as the answer because it will usually be followed by a 'uh wut' expression in which I would have to repeat the answer again because nobody knows much about the ADP program, unlike mass comm where everybody has heard of-

ps; I HATE these questions the most because somehow people (especially Malays.. I guess.. BAM! RACIST STATEMENT) tend to have this mindset that being in a private college means you didn't get a good result for SPM - didn't get any offer from public university - have to resort in going to private college where your parents have to spend a lot of money. (You can see in their face that's obviously what comes to their mind, especially if they're like "Oh..")

Not to brag but I DID get a good result for SPM and I DID get an offer from UiTM but I declined it.

All of my.. cousins or anyone around my age in my family went into public university and apparently being different means you're not good enough these days? Balderdash.

Dah ada boyfriend? *wink wink*
What I'll say : Hah hah tak ada la..
What I really want to say :
1) Yes I do he's actually in Hollywood where he has two children with his girlfriend but really we're in love and he comes here every other month and we're planning to elope soon. (That's Johnny Depp, in case you didn't get it.)
2) No I don't have a boyfriend FOR MANY YEARS NOW THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME I'M UNATTRACTIVE AND FOREVER ALONE. BYE. *leaves house dramatically*
3) Why does it matter to you if I have a boyfriend or not?

Frequently Heard Statements.
(To my dad) Tak lama lagi dapat la menantu ni ih hik hik
Often I'll just look at my sister because if my dad's getting an in-law anytime soon it's because of my sister, not me bwahahar.
But seriously. Just because we're a young adult now does it mean we have to get married!? REALLY?

And the term 'anak dara'. GOD that should be just removed from Kamus Dewan. Banned from existence.

Dah besaaar dah.
See. This one I'm somewhat confused. I know most of the time what they want to say is we've all grown up, but besar can also means fat! And I am offended by that statement.

I know they're just trying to be polite but I guess this is what happens when you see each other only once a year and you're trying to make awkward situations un-awkward.

"Always the same mindless chatter."

BUT in case my relatives do read this blog post, here are some alternative questions you could ask that I'd be more than happy to answer :

1) Favorite Harry Potter characters/movies/scenes/quotes and why.
2) Favorite Taylor Swift songs of all-time and why.
3) What's your view on gay rights? -(I did a whole portfolio on it last semester and I'm really proud of each essay I wrote and the marks I got!)
4) Books that made you cry the hardest/laugh the loudest?
5) Lol dude idk what to ask but here's some duit raya pergi main jauh-jauh bai

I'd VERY, VERY much prefer option #5. Wink wink nudge nudge.

2) The fact that our family's Raya has not been the same since 2004 (or was it 2005?) - personal reason I really really wish I could blog about. Gah. No it's not because of anyone's death.

You know how they say time heals everything? Utter and complete balderdash as well.

And that 'nothing will change?' HAH HAH. And they'll always be there for you? You can talk to them about anything? HAH. HAH. HAH.

Did not believe that when I was 12, still do not now. Honestly they underestimated what a 12-year-old can think for herself.

Anyway moving on.

3) People don't send kad raya anymore and just send sms-es. I know it works both ways but I don't feel like sending one if I'm just going to receive a freaking sms back as a reply. 'Thanks for kad raya! Sorry la tak sempat nak beli kad raya :( Maaf zahir batin!'.

Don't get me wrong, I still look forward to the delicious food and duit raya (if I still get some..) or even playing mercun. But I don't ANTICIPATE it so much. I'm like "Oh esok raya? Cool" as opposed to "OH MY GOD ESOK RAYA!! YAYYY :D"

Which is a shame, really if I think about it. I used to enjoy raya, I do! Just like any other kids. But.. no it's just not the same. Blah it's just me I know a lot of people still gets psyched the night before Raya no matter how old they are.

This blog post is filed under Reason #192074 Why Growing Up Sucks.

Parcels.

2011-07-30T13:51:00.016+08:00

Just a quick update on college;

I'm done with finals and my fourth semester last week and gotta say it was the best semester I had so far :) I don't exactly know why. Maybe because I made a lot of new, wonderful friends and I did really well for both subjects I took and I'm pretty sure my attendance was 100% (I'm such a ~*~*good*~*~ student omagaad) for both classes.
Anyway, results are coming out next week so fingers crossed!

I actually wrote a draft on.. something but it got too long and I'm too lazy to continue writing it. Typical. So! Just gonna upload random pictures I could find in my folders.

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I LOVE, LOVE that feeling when something I ordered online finally arrive! It's all wrapped up and it's like getting a present and you know what's inside but it's still so exciting! Hahah. These are some of the parcels I've gotten :)

I've never shopped at a 'blogshop' before though, eventhough it's pretty huge here in Malaysia. (The two boxes from Malaysia were actually Taylor Swift merch which I joined the bulk order with Taylor Swift Malaysia thingy and the seller ordered the thing from the US, then have it shipped to his/her address then sort it out then send it to me and other people who joined the bulk order too.)

Some blogshops I've visited do sell quality products but it's either sold out or expensive or look like something I can just go to a real shop and buy anyway -...-

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My social psychology classmates! They made the dreaded class at 8am enjoyable :))

There's just something Polaroid pictures that make it extra special and.. nostalgic. (Lovely Lavyne brought her Polaroid camera that day, in which I totally jakun-ed over.)

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I went to David Archuleta's concert last Tuesday! Too lazy to make another post so I'll just post it here.

Arrived at the stadium way too early. Made new friends though :D (Except the left-est girl which is my friend, Shermain who I went there with lulz)

It was free seating and we were one of the earliest in queue so we got a pretty good seat at the side.

The stadium was pretty empty.. uhm it was sad.

JYEEEEAAAHHH glow sticks omg I looked retarded.

DAVID! I didn't take many pictures/videos as I just want to enjoy the concert thoroughly, but my friend did using my camera. I took this one though hur hur.

K for more pictures just go to my Facebook I uploaded a bunch of it there :)

Overall it was really awesome! I didn't know many of the song he sang though hahah but the one I know, I sang my heart out and jumping around and scream like cuhrazy.

Funny though some people think I'm a concert-goer kind of person which I am not. At all ._. I didn't go to MTV World Stage this year, or ever. It's highly exhausting going to a concert and I only go for bands/singers I really really like and worth the energy for.

And I didn't suffer from post-concert depression going to David Archuleta, which is good. I'm still recovering from depression of going to Taylor Swift's concert T_T

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This was during a talk by Dr. Dwight Adams who used to be on FBI (and has his own Wikipedia page). I'm not a huge fan of CSI or crime-solving but the talk was REALLY interesting and showed just how different CSI (the tv show) from reality.

And the lecture hall was 90% filled with primary school students. I just find it amusing when school students visit my college because it's so small and there's nothing much to see! HAHAHA. But seeing them in the school uniform? Mannnn I almost choked up (okay not really) because I just miss wearing it eventhough it's very hot and uncomfortable. What I would give to turn back time and go back to school! Seriously. Sigh.

---------

Sydney(left) and Liz! They're from North Carolina and came here to Malaysia for holidays. They visited my college a few times (probably because we have ya know, American degree program so students can ask how it's like in the US etc.)

They stayed here for about a month I think (not just them, they came with other like.. 12 friends) and we went to lunch and dinner a few times :) They're so nice and friendly! I remember I keep thinking I wish when I go to the States people will be more like them because my life is going to be so much easier. I don't know if I've mentioned this but seriously the #1 thing I'm worried most is having to deal with the stereotype (Muslim = terrorist) and the discrimination for being a hijab-wearing Muslim girl. Urgh.

But they kind of give me hope it won't be as bad as I think :)

They've gone back home last week and so sad I couldn't say goodbye because I had finals and couldn't go to their farewell party :(

----------

Welp I guess that's all I have.

- Not looking forward for next semester since I have to take a science subject, Chemistry :(

- Decorating my room (more like just a wall..) and will post picture of that when it's done!

- Okay if you've been following me on twitter you'd know I set up this challenge for myself to finish all 7 Harry Potter books in 7 days. In which I failed. Le tears.
I just couldn't do it. I'm not a slow reader but I like to take in every details, even unnecessary ones. Like how in the second book Harry bought himself, Ron and Hermione strawberry and peanut-butter ice-creams at Diagon Alley. Or in the same book they had to turn a beetle into a button in their Transfiguration class. Or that Quirrel's classroom smell of garlic.

I swear I didn't Google all of that. I can't ever speed read because I'd literally read every line and.. savor them. Yep that's the word. I know I could've rushed everything since I've read the books but I don't want to. Sometimes I even have this trivia questions in my mind like 'when was the word Azkaban first appear in the series?' and I'd search every chapters like mad and won't stop till I find the answer (it was Draco who said it first in Chamber of Secrets to Harry and Ron who were disguised as Goyle and Crabbe). I have a mild case of OCD when it comes to books.

Oh well I can set up a challenge I know I won't fail : watch a whole season of The Big Bang Theory in one day. HA. (On a sidenote, don't people watch this show!? I only know two people in real life who watch it. Seriously it's just HILARIOUS.)

- Two more weeks of semester break left shall be spent wisely.

Selamat Berpuasa kepada semua umat Islam! Niat untuk berpuasa kerana Allah, bukan untuk kurus yer (terutama kepada perempuan heheh). Jangan set dalam fikiran tu 'oh tak makan boleh kurus ni' -_-" Salah tu! Nanti lepas raya gemuk jugak toksah nak kuruskan badan ler bahahah.

I don't know how to end this post so I'll just post one of my favorite quotes from Harry Potter :

"Because that's what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library." - Ron (Chamber of Secrets, chapter 14).

Always.

2011-07-16T15:52:00.007+08:00

Of course after I blogged about Harry Potter I'm going to write another post about me WATCHING Harry Potter! Hur hur.

14 July 2011, 3:10 p.m., Berjaya Times Square.

No this post doesn't contain any spoiler for the movie.
On a sidenote, I just want to say that you can be someone who has read all the books(like me) and still don't want to see any spoilers before watching the movie(like me). I hate how some people are like 'it's all already in the book!' Of course you know what's gonna happen but that doesn't mean you want to know exactly how it was depicted in the movie. Sheesh.

Anyway I bought these awesome t-shirts online and it arrived two days before the day I'm going to watch the movie! Phew just in time.

And these would be me shamelessly taking pictures with.. cardboard cutout of the characters.

And the red/yellow(more like gold-ish) were supposed to represent Gryffindor! I just feel the need to emphasize that because nobody gets it lulz.

LOLOLOL me and my sister (who's not a fan of the Harry Potter series at all -_-)
We kept taking pictures and they turned out VERY DARK and we kept laughing. People behind us probably thought 'poor girls, first time watching a 3D movie.'

We watched it at GSC MAXX, which is like the biggest cinema in Malaysia or something. I think the trailers they showed before the movie had a better 3D effect than the movie itself though.

There were a lot of people watching in the same theater/hall as me but no one dressed up or anything! PSSSHHHH. I see on some websites or people who posted it on twitter some even dressed up as Hedwig, Hagrid, and even the Sorting Hat!! HOW AWESOME. Maybe I should've gone to the midnight premiere because those are the.. I guess you can say the hardcore Potterheads. Though I highly doubt a lot did (dress up) anyway.

The audience.

Not only no one 'dressed to the occasion' (it's the last Harry Potter movie for God's sake), they were just.. dead. (Except my friend who was in the audience too. Hi, Hema!)

***spoiler if you didn't read the books***

No one clapped when Mrs. Weasley killed Bellatrix.

No one cheered when the much-anticipated 'Romione' kiss.

****

No one clapped/cried after the movie ends.

JUST. DEAD.

I mean they did laugh at some funny parts, and it was pin-drop silence during the sad scenes so 'the Prince's Tale' scene wasn't ruined. My cheeks were wet with tears and it was so quiet, so I don't want to take out tissues because it'll be too obvious so I used my cardigan's sleeves and it's already wet. Luckily I watched it in 3D so can't see the tears streaming down my face ~~and snot dripping out my nose and all~~. And it gets quiet (the movie and the audience) for so long so I couldn't take a deep breathe with my nose all stuffy so I waited for the battle scenes where it's loud and nobody can hear me.

That was too much information and you're probably all grossed out. Sorry.

I tell you the award for Best Audience for a movie so far will always be when I watch Insidious. People were legit scared and screaming and flipped out like shit. You know sometimes the audience can make or break the movie. Even a bad movie, if you watch it with the right audience can be entertaining.

The movie.

As for the movie itself, I had to admit it was a little bit under my expectation and a little bit draggy, just because I was like WHERE IS SNAPE I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM BE ON THE SCREEN THIS INSTANT.

But when he's on-screen.. he's just FLAWLESS. Okay Johnny Depp will always be my #1 favorite actor of all-time (he's one of the things that define my childhood!.. and adolescent) but Alan Rickman will be high on the list too. And imagine my level of fangirling - an all-time high, when the two were in the same movie, Sweeney Todd. (And also Alice in Wonderland but Alan just provided the voice).

This would be where I'm going to rant about how perfect Alan Rickman is.

Nobody could've played Severus Snape better than he did. And I hope no one would ever make a remake of the movies because NO one could do justice to the characters. And the thing about Alan is he hardly moved a muscle on his face but it just showed on his eyes and his freaking sexy voice. Now I personally think that's a great actor right there.

Harry Potter fans everywhere want him to ~~be nominated for~~ win an Oscar because he deserves it. He truly does. Snape has been and always will be my favorite character. I think the fact that he's not perfect is the main reason everybody loves him so much.

Other honorary mentions :

1) Neville BAMF Longbottom. (If you don't know what's BAMF is just go to urbandictionary.com and search that).

2) Minerva McBadass - well everybody on tumblr is calling her that.

I agree with everyone on the cast - like Daniel Radcliffe is perfect to play Harry, Emma - Hermione, Evanna - Luna etc., but the only one I feel like.. eh, could've been better is Ginny Weasley played by Bonnie Wright. I don't know in the book she was portrayed like very fearless and funny too but in the movie she's very.. dull. And honestly Harry and Ginny in the movie just.. didn't work. It's just weird and compared to Ron and Hermione, everybody really doesn't care about Harry and Ginny.

I totally ship Ron and Hermione but in real life I really like Tom and Emma together! :) Just my two cents.

Okay that's all the next post won't have anything to do with Harry Potter I promise!

Don't people think I'm annoying? Seriously if someone comes up to me and say 'You're annoying', I'd probably be like 'I think so too! High five!'

Potterday.

2011-07-10T01:10:00.001+08:00

If there's one thing I'd like to change about my childhood, it's the fact that I don't get into Harry Potter much earlier. I guess if you've been following my blog for a while you can see I used to be obsessed with Twilight (hur hur) and safe to say my obsession has shifted.

First world problems, I know.

If you don't like Harry Potter ~~I don't like you too~~ you can skip reading this.

Anyway if you read my Addicted post you can see I just started reading the first book last year. Which is sad. OKAY when I was little I wanted to get into it but I thought it's too complicated and.. my English wasn't really good at the time. So I didn't.

So the upcoming movie, Deathly Hallows pt. 2 would be the first movie of Harry Potter in which I've read the book before watching it.

When people say Harry Potter is their childhood, I wish it's mine too. (Well technically it can be, I grew up watching the movies. THAT STILL COUNTS) I read this one blog once where she said something like, she won't miss Harry Potter. She knows it's going to be there when she needs them. But the thing she's going to miss is the feeling of opening the new much-anticipated book. The queuing at midnight for the new release.

That kind of thing. I can't relate to that :(

You know, now I want to be like all fangirl over Harry Potter but then I feel like, I don't have the rights to. I wasn't a big fan before. Like I can feel I'm being shunned from the fandom saying bleeh I only love it now, not way back then. Sort of the same for bands, like somehow who discovered them earlier is more superior than the new fans.

Then I thought, bleh screw it.

I too, have stuck with Harry till the very end. I too have stayed up late reading the book. Like most fans around my age, I too will pass the books down to my children so the story lives on (if you think that's lol-worthy, trust me fans around the world feel the same.) I shall take good care of my Harry Potter box set so that'd be their childhood.

And the Harry Potter fans I know (Lizzie, Eimie, Mus, Satpal) are all very nice people so they won't judge me for being all fangirl eventhough I'm a new fan. Heheh.

Speaking of fangirling, I totally stayed up till 3 a.m. to watch the whole live stream red carpet premiere thing through. (On a sidenote, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH UNIFI for the fast internet. Like the whole thing didn't even buffer or stuck and very high quality video too)

I was freaking out and almost fell off my chair and screaming alone in my room when one by one the cast came. It was one of those moments where if there's a hidden camera, you know it'd be hilarious to watch back.

I was like

LITERALLY. I swear you guys these gifs are as accurate as it can get for my expressions the whole time during the live premiere.

(gif credits to tumblr)

ESPECIALLY when Alan Rickman (Snape) came out. I don't even know what to think anymore like ALKS;DHAKJSG;DKAJS[HDKAJGSDKJ'ASHAKJS\ALSKYRLH

Snape will always be my favorite character. I mean even when I first saw the first movie, haven't read the book, you can tell he's not evil, ya know? I just knew it! (I think everyone does too, Anis. You can move on.)

But of course, then came the sad part during the speeches. You know that ache in your heart when you're about to cry? Okay yeah I felt that during Dan's speech,

but then Emma gave hers and she started crying and JK Rowling started crying I MEAN. HOW CAN YOU NOT.

I was like sobbing that time but when JK Rowling says "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home" ...

Like someone on tumblr said, it's like being homesick for a place you've never even been to. But I guess all Potterheads can tell you they've been there. When we read the book, it became real in our heads. So it doesn't matter.

Anyway I went to IKEA the other day and I got these! I stalked the MPH and Popular at Sunway Pyramid every other day and it's never there ugh.

When I see the magazine at Popular

I'm not the type who buy a magazine just because anything Potter-related is on the cover but these are THE magazines to buy, yaw.
It's still in wrap I don't want to open it t_t

AND to end this perfect day my lovely friend, Lizzie who were there at Trafalgar Square for the premiere tagged me in all pictures she took of Alan Rickman :'D Aaaahhh I love her so much she's like one of the nicest person I ever got the chance to meet. Seriously.

Other than some minor glitch, July 8 was a very wonderful day indeed. And other than in college earlier that day (which was still very wonderful), I spent the whole day alone. I went to IKEA alone, buying chairs for my brother and sister (not like I'm a ~*~*good daughter/sister*~*~ or anything, I was the one insisted going because I just love IKEA, which another thing I'm obsessed about).
Hey I'm still a teenager I'm entitled to having many obsession :3

It's times like these I am utterly convinced I don't need a boyfriend to make me feel happy or contented.

Oh another unimportant thing. If you go to my Facebook profile you can see this..

I'M DOING SNAPE LOLOLOL that's what she said~
I didn't even purposely do this!! D: I just randomly clicked 'Like' on the recommended pages.. and it turns out to be under Activites so what to do :P

Can't wait to watch the movie! You can bet your kidney I'm going to watch it more than once! So gonna have a Harry Potter movie marathon.. by myself. No big deal.

All rights reserved.

2011-07-03T17:28:00.004+08:00

If there's one thing I've learned from my four semesters in college, it's that plagiarism is bad. REALLY, REALLY bad that you can go to jail for it (maybe in some countries? Definitely not in Malaysia). Okay maybe not jail, but definitely can get you sued. Literally every lecturer will tell you to 'cite the sources' 'do it in the APA format' 'make sure you have a bibliography page' yadda yadda yadda.

I don't know about other students but making the bibliography page is actually fun for me, but.. anyway.

Maybe because it's now deeply rooted in my mind to give credits for everything (well look at that won't my lecturers be so proud. Tsk tsk) that it pisses me off when people don't do it in real life. Especially in real life because if you didn't do it in your assignment(s) nobody cares, the only person who'd read it is your lecturer and it's your marks that might or might not be affected.

What I'm annoyed by is when you don't credit stuff, some people would think that YOU made it. You typed that great blog post and some of your friends believed that you wrote it and they suggest you should write a book because of how wonderful it was and your previous posts were great too but really your blog is made up of stuff you copy from someone else and when I commented on that you immediately make your blog private nice move. I'm not pointing fingers at someone.. oh you know, just an example. A really elaborative example of ~~someone I know~~ what could happen.

Same goes for pictures. Of course, a really professional-looking photos people won't think YOU took it but now it's all about perspective.

How would you feel if people steal YOUR work, something you worked hard for, either a blog post, essay, picture, painting, poem, an edit or a gif(it's a tumblr thing) and they don't acknowledge you as the creator of that 'piece of art'? Won't you be pissed? Sometimes I'm the one pissed off eventhough the work is not mine.

(On a sidenote, you can't technically copy from my blog.. try hitting right click anywhere on this page and you'll get a special message hur hur)

If you don't know who's the owner of that photo, don't use it. Simple as that. As for blog post, sure you can get the inspiration from someone else but not copy the ENTIRE post, that's ridiculous. Have some originality and creativity. You might think your post is not good, but that's okay. Over time, it will improve. Just try, not steal because that won't benefit you whatsoever other than improving your skill in Copy and Paste stuff which I'd hate to break it out to you, but 10-year-old can do it too.

Okay I'll just give some example. These are not like, the 'official' way to do it but it'll do if it's for blogging. If you want to do citation for your assignment you can Google it, of course.

PICTURES.
Say for whatever reason you want to put this picture in your blog,

Credits : japanese.telecom

-- Just link it to the original source. I've seen some people even put 'Google Image' as the source but hey that's better than nothing.

QUOTES.
"Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves." - Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven.

-- Just put the author's name and the book title if it's from a book. Same goes for lyrics. Whenever I see like, ~*~*poetic*~*~ status and a lot of people liked it, I always Google it and sure enough it's from someone else. That's just irksome.

It'd be nice if you can credit(meaning link) someone's blog if you got the inspiration from them too.

I mean, really. It's not that difficult, people. Nobody likes someone fake, trust me.

To you-know-who-you-are, I don't mean to start a fight or anything but does it make you feel better when people compliment you of having a good blog, when you know it's just made up of stuff you didn't even write? Because that's just... uhm wow. Messed up. You can do better, dude. I know you can.

I just have to tell you guys this.

So the other night I was sleeping and I've set my alarm at 5:30 a.m. But then suddenly in the middle of the night I heard my name was called by a.. slow, but a little bit high-pitched voice.. from a distance.

'ANIS!'

I immediately stood up straight.

My first thought was it was my mom calling me, and I was already late to college. I looked at the watch and thought it's 5:38 a.m., but it was actually 4:38 a.m. Then I went back to sleep but now that I think about it, it was pretty scary.. I was almost sure I heard it but I was probably just dreaming. WELL I SURE HOPE I WAS.

DUN DUN DUNN.

And yet another boring story from a boring life brought to you by Anis Filza, a pretty boring person. I mean like seriously though, like what I tweeted the other day; I'm such a boring person to talk to. I feel like people are just going to burst into tears and die of boredom when I talk to them.

Daydream.

2011-06-14T20:19:00.000+08:00

This semester has been going pretty well for me so far.

First of all, I've been elected as the President of the Editorial Board. Which should be one hell of a good news, but I feel like I'm not ready for it. You know when you're in a group, and someone asks all of you to pick a group leader, there's always that one person who stood out most and it goes without saying he/she will be the one?

Well yeah I'm not that person.

I've been in the EdBoard for just a little over 3 months, and I was first elected as the treasurer(which I've had a lot of experience with). But a leader? President? That's a tough shoe to fill in. I guess I agreed to be the President because it will look really good on my scholarship application, since I'm majoring in journalism and whatnot. I have to release my inner Wilhelmina Slater. Or Daniel Meade. Or Miranda Priestly.

I'm not even sure I still want to major in journalism. I mean of course people tell you to follow your passion but a hungry writer sure ain't happy to me. I don't even know what to do with my life. Maybe I should just start investing in a cute, small white house where I'll live alone when I'm 60 with a bunch of ~~cats~~ rabbits and walls lining up to the ceiling with bookshelves. In the evening I'll make a good cup of tea, sitting on a swing chair by the porch while reading a good book till I fall asleep.

Yep sounds good to me.

I think horoscopes are one of the stupidest things to ever existed. Religion reasons aside, I just don't see how you can generalize millions of people's lives in mere sentences. "You're gonna find your true love on the 16th." "Financial problem soon arise, start spending wisely." Yeah I bet Bill Gates had a good laugh at that.

But I guess some people just love referring to it because it's (what they hope to be) a glimpse of the future. The future is indeed scary and if something can ease that anxiety, to comfort this fear of the unknown, they must've thought; 'hey why not'.

I think it's pathetic. If you want something, you make it happen, not because some random astrologist you don't even know sits there and type out what might happen to millions of people who were born within this period of time. Can't people just see how ridiculous it seems? Gosh. I don't even know why they have it in newspapers everyday.

Sent my parents to the airport the other day. They were flying off to Madinah (and then to Mekah as well, of course.) It's their fifth time going there :)

That one time we ordered too much fries. Also, I met my friend who apparently works at Burger King but we couldn't talk much because she was working :(

Look at my parents being all q-t pie :{D

Oh how I love airport. It's in my list of 'Top Five Places I'll Most Likely To Meet My Future Husband'. Why yes I do have that list. No just kidding I don't. But seriously I love going to the airport. I imagine being :

1) depressed and so I go to the viewing area and then I'll get struck with this idea to write a book that turns into a massive bestseller and had Johnny Depp as the main character in the movie adaptation. (You know coz JK Rowling had her moment while she was in the train.)

2) adventurous and buy random ticket to a random place with my friends without any proper plan but ended up having the time of our life.

Clearly somebody daydreams too much. Okay well I have to go study now. Reality sucks.

When you think happiness.

2011-05-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

I went out with two different groups of friends recently :) So I guess the main purpose of this blog post is to show you that I'm not a friendless, anti-social loner who eats lunch by herself everyday. Though in certain days that was true as well.

Friday ; 20 May 2011 ; IKEA

with ; Afiqah & Gbob.

I honestly can't remember when was the last time we hang out! Like.. 3 years ago? 4? I dunno it's been way too long even though we stay very near to each other. But we all entered different 'type' of universities meaning we have different holidays so it's hard to accommodate everybody's time.

Anyway we went to IKEA/The Curve!

I feel like the ugly friend when I go out with them lulz and they're SO, SO much smarter than me I'm not even being humble hahahah.

Then after that we went to watch Pirates of The Carribean!! This just brings back so many memories :') EVERYBODY in our class in form 3(15 years old) knew I'm a big Johnny Depp fan, and Afiqah is a big Orlando Bloom fan. Sometimes we fought who is better or hotter and Afiqah even bought this file with a huge Orlando Bloom's face on it. Aaaah memories.

Anyway sucks for her Orlando is no longer on POTC MWAHAHAHAHA CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW FOR THE WIN. (The movie was AWE-AWE-AWESOME. 'Nuff said.)

Then we went to Tutti Frutti! I've always wanted to go there(there's one near my college - lol what IS NOT near my college every restaurant is within walking distance) but there's nothing 'lonelier-looking' than a teenage girl eating frozen yogurt by herself...

Our masterpiece. Which cost way too expensive to be honest. Meh.

We were happily eating when suddenly this guy came up to us and started selling us perfumes WTF -___- I don't even wear perfumes. I'm sort of allergic to most of it.

Then Afiqah drove us home :) She drives a red Suzuki Swift and I always thought how cool it is if someone drives that car too, and go to Taylor's College. Taylor.. and Swift.. ya know. HAHAHAH LAME.

After that we walk around some more because Afiqah wanted to go shopping for this type of shoes, oxfords but the only place I know selling it is Forever 21 and there's none in The Curve. We ended up only buying belts, 2 for RM 11 HAHAHAHHA.

I had a great time with them and we talked so much about our secondary school memories it kinda hurts knowing we can never go back to those times :/ Oh well, life.

Wednesday ; 25 May 2011 ; Sunway Pyramid

with : Mus, Alin, Abu.

So we all FINALLY got to hang out last Wednesday! It was a blast. My fourth(gosh, really? Time flew!) semester had already started but I only have class from 8am - 10am on Wednesday, so after class I fetched them at the train station and drove to Sunway Pyramid.

We bought movie tickets and ate at this ayam penyet restaurant(when I told this to my mom and sister they were both shocked, like that's not what I usually eat -__- Duh I'm still a Malay(eventhough that's an Indonesian food - it's still rice-based so doesn't matter)

Went to watch Insidious! We wanted to watch Pirates of The Carribean but me and Alin have already watched it and the time wasn't suitable. I usually don't watch scary movies but I knew watching it these people won't be as scary.. so.

And OH MY GOD. There were quite a few scenes where I literally screamed! You know like in most scary movies the ... 'ghosts' or 'spirits' whatever weren't THAT scary-looking, but the fact that they just appear OUT OF NOWHERE, IN YO FACE MY BROTHA, that made you jumped and screamed scared? Yeah it was like that.

We were pretty noisy, like "waa siapa pilih movie ni jom tengok Wimpy Kid" "weh aku nak keluar!" "mana hantu dia tak keluar lagi pun" "apsal jam tu ada kat situ" "habis laaa" "kat tepi tu ada budak!" "siang mana ada hantu" "cepatnya dah malam" and so on.
People were hushing at us asking us to shut up LULZ.

And the audience in the cinema hall was AWESOME. I think there were a lot of girls too so when something scary popped out I wasn't the only one screaming. I think there was this girl behind me actually brought a blanket to cover her eyes HAHAHAHHA. And I love how we all laughed and breathe a sigh of relief after each scary scene - like you can breathe again after getting your heart racing!

I think that was the first time I watch a scary movie AT the cinema. Like SCARY scary. It was produced by the same people who made Paranormal Activity for god's sake! I don't even dare to watch that one.

Bring on the highest bungee jump, thrillest roller coaster and I'll be fine but to watch Paranormal Activity, alone, without covering my eyes, NO THANKS.

Overall the movie was great, and thanks to Insidious I probably won't go down to the kitchen alone and have my midnight snacks ever again.

So then we went to pray, and ice-skating time!

I didn't bring a pair of socks so I had to pay extra - RM28(they paid RM23). The price wasn't so bad, you can skate however long you want.

Wooot woot!!

Abu was actually the best skater out of 4 of us! CEH BANGGA.

THIS IS ME SKATING.

THIS IS ME FALLING. (I fell 3 times. AWE-AWE-AWESOME.)

That was my first time skating and I sure hope I can try it again some other time! (I'm just going to watch a whole lot of tutorial videos on Youtube to prepare myself :P)

Omg there was one time Justin Bieber's song was playing, we were outside the rink resting our feet and I said to Mus if Taylor Swift song came on, I'll go in. And sure enough Back To December started playing!! We were so PUMPED to get inside the rink and with this burning desire to skate like a pro.. only to hold on to the bars all the way. HAHAHAHAH /fail. But it was so cool! :)

Mus treated us to some Krispy Kreme doughnuts and we went back ~~and I reached home late and got scolded by my mom.~~

Dunno when I'll get to hang out with these people again since they're going to start their new semester soon too :( But when we get together, awesomeness ensues!

The fact that the second part of this post is longer doesn't make the first one less special. All of them has a special place in my heart. And kidney. I love kidneys. They're cute and bean-shaped and once, I saw on Grey's Anatomy they did a kidney transplant and it's only the size of a palm.. uh what was I saying again?

I got an A for French!

I'm just SO happy about that, even though I got pretty crappy result for other subjects. It just motivates me to learn French more and hopefully be half as fluent as the native speakers? :) Me think me have a knack for language, yes.

And I got better than what I expected for World Religions, considering I had a conversation with my lecturer that went like this :

Me - Is Monday the last day to drop the subject?
Him - Yes, why? You're doing okay what.
Me - :D
Him - By okay I mean a C heheh
Me -

HAHAHAH no I just tried to act cool but that's what he said! I ended up getting a B+, which is more than what I expected. So YAY.

Anyway, my fourth semester is going.. busy. It's a short semester and everything is just going so fast! I already have some assignment and quizzes next week. For ENL102 class, I have to complete at least one essay every week. One essay is like.. 600 words.

PSY200(social psychology) class is fun so far. Like we introduce each other and sit in circle and stuff. It's a reading subject so I need to memorize a lot. But the subject itself is interesting(though the teacher was pretty boring. I wish my anthropology teacher last semester can teach psychology, she has the best stories.)

Some of my friends are transferring this fall(around August) and I'm still stuck here. GREAAAAT.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Also, you know you go to the library way too often that when you stopped going for 2 weeks because of semester break, the staff there greeted you with 'long time no see' when you came to borrow a book once the semester starts.

LOL I go to the library not to study but to use the fast internet there but now that my dad already got unifi, I don't need to so BYE LIBRARY I won't visit you anymore. Hahaha just kidding.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to study for my psychology quiz tomorrow!

ps; This color quiz is freaking accurate about myself and the situation I'm in! I read the result like 0_0 WHOA THERE.

Try it and dftba!

Ne me quitte pas.

2011-05-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

The topic of suicide and death has been on my mind a lot lately. No I'm not contemplating suicide anytime soon, or ever for that matter. Yes I'm just being over dramatic when I say 'kill me' or 'I'm going to die' when I'm stressed. But I just think the topic is.. interesting. That's one way to put it.

How can someone feel so unloved that they just wake up one day and decided to vanish completely from this Earth? How can out of six billions of people in this world nobody saw the hopelessness in his or her eyes? How selfish have we become that we feel as if love is something scarce and we can't extend it to someone? Don't people care?

I guess all of us at some point have thought or even imagined how people will react if you died. I'd like to think that people will cry their eyes out, how bad they'll feel for not saying hi or smile to me when they got the chance. How bad they'll feel for not spending more time with me when they got the chance to. I wonder if they can remember the last time they see me or what were the last sentences I said to them. Will they remember my smile? The lame jokes I told them, the way my face lit up when I'm in a huge bookstore, the way I roll my eyes when I'm pissed off about something?

Will they remember me? How long would it take for them to recover from my death? What picture of me they're going to remember in their mind? Do they wish they had said something before my death if they got the chance?

Oh all the interesting, fascinating, hypothetical questions!

Do you remember how you felt when the idea of 'death' was first brought up to you? Maybe when you were 3 or 4? I remember when I was small, when I first found out that all humans will die. That death skips nobody. And yes that include myself, my parents, my family, my friends. I remember crying, and not being able to sleep about it. I remember thinking 'so we're not going to live this happy forever?' On scale 1 - 10 how innocent was I? 9.5? 9.9?

Some people say it's stupid to fear death. "It's just a life process." Then I can say the same for the birth of a baby, can't I? "Oh that's just another baby, it's just a life process."
But people do get excited and feel all warm and fuzzy inside when they see a baby. And likewise people will feel sad when death happens.

It's not that we fear 'death' itself, we also fear the emptiness we'll feel when someone leaves us forever. That when you pick up the phone they won't answer, or you can't hear their laugh anymore. And also the guilt you might find yourself in to if you moved on too fast, that you probably shouldn't feel this happy yet.

I used to think people who committed suicide are selfish. They just think life is not worth living anymore for themselves. They hadn't thought of how their parents are going to feel burying their own child, of how hard their friends are going to move on with their life.

But that was before I knew what depression feels like. I guess I've never told anyone I was(or still am) depressed was because people will take it lightly. Oh it's the hormones. It's just a 'phase'. "It's amazing what you can hide, just by putting on a smile." Depressed; seems like a common word used in daily conversation, so common for people to feel that way. But why? Why has it become so common? Don't you think we're too young to feel this... empty? That feeling as if you've messed everything up and there's no way out. Have you ever wondered just when life started to become this shitty? Like when you were little you can be happy just playing and laughing and then suddenly you're all grown up and yes you're happy but you know there's something at the back of your mind you wish you could change about your life. You know people can say 'you'll be fine' all they want but to turn 'WILL be fine to 'ARE fine' is another story altogether.

Did you know I tried to cut myself? Yep, once. I was at my rock-bottom and crying so hard and I just felt I need to release this massive pain. I felt useless. I didn't have a knife with me in my room but I had this blunt, small cutter and I actually cut somewhere on my left arm. I didn't bleed, but it did scar(now not so visible). Nobody noticed it. I thought, wow, this can be so easy for me. I wear long sleeves most of the time, and nobody would ever notice it.

But it was just one time. I managed to stop myself before I get addicted. I've read one too many books about cutting to know how easy it is to fall back in to the habit no matter how hard you try to resist it. Sometimes I look at razors and cringe at the thought of harming myself with it.

*WEB EXCLUSIVE* right there. I never told anyone about it. That's one more interesting fact about me for ya.

When I first started learning French, one of the first things our lecturer taught us was how to say 'how are you?' and how to reply it - 'I'm fine, thank you.'
No matter what language you're trying to learn(as in professionally), that question will most probably be taught in the first few lessons. And I realized, you will learn the exact same reply, 'I'm fine'. It's like people just expect you to be fine. They're asking out of politeness, not actually care how you are holding up.

Because let's face it. You are not fine. Not even remotely close. When 'I'm fine' came out of your mouth, thousands of different scenarios and problems whizzed by in your head like a movie on fast-forward, haunting you everyday. I can't remember the last time I said 'I'm fine' and actually whole-heartedly meant it.

Depressed is not about 'feeling down'. It's about feeling hopeless. It's about feeling alone in a room full of people. As if there's this hollowness inside you that never leaves. At least that's how I feel.

I actually have 10 out of 12.

We worry about Japan, how millions of people died but millions of people died committing suicide, something we can actually prevent and nobody actually care. Okay that was a weak comparison but to think that those people will do anything to have their loved ones back but here we are in a disaster-free side of the world, throwing lives away. Isn't that ironic?

You know, because for disasters people can donate money(from $$ to $$$$$) and they think that'll be enough, the people in charge can distribute the money equally and that'll at least lighten their burden. But for people with depression contemplating suicide, they don't need money. They need your time to listen to their stories, or time for them to open up to you which requires patience. And with the so-called modern, fast-paced world nobody actually cares enough. Some people are just blatantly ignorant, but some people do care but it's just.. not enough.

I guess this is where I should write 'oh appreciate your family and friends, value your life.. don't kill yourself because that'll be sinful, blah blah blah.' But it's never that simple. It never is.

Or I can write 'What You Should Do If You Feel Suicidal', or 'How To Overcome Depression', etc but you can Google all of that, hence I don't feel the need to list it down. Get advices and tips straight from the experts, which I am not.

But I do know that (cliché alert) suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. So you had a bad day, bad week, bad month, bad year. You thought 'ugh just kill me now'. I think it's not such a good idea to keep meddling with sentences like that because well, it might just turn into action. Be in the dark long enough you'll feel that's normal, you're content about it. Everybody feels that way. We think we're the only one suffering, nobody understands you.

But you'd be surprised at how many people are just as screwed up as you are. Seriously. How many people are just lonely as you are. Like Tennessee Williams said, "when so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone." (If you don't get it just reread it again.) Reach out in some way. If you can try opening up to people, that'll be the best. If you can't (like me), find a way you can let it out. NOT by cutting or hurting yourself. I find writing works, even if it's getting dusty in my draft and I'll never post it. You'll be fine I promi-- well I can't promise you that. Because I can't even convince myself that. But at least that's what I think and hope I'll be someday. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, not this week, not this year. Hey, hope dies last after all. A long hard road ahead? Well that's okay I'm going to pack my bags and prepare myself for a (God's willing) long journey.. called life.

And if there's one thing I do know life is beautiful. And I think it's a waste to be consumed by problems, blinded by miseries not to see that.

-Ne Me Quitte Pas(translation : don't leave me) is a French song by Jacques Brel, beautifully covered by Nina Simone whose version was used in the movie Mukhsin directed by the late Yasmin Ahmad.

*If you actually read every single word of this post, I love you.

*I'm stronger now than the time I wrote this, which was a few months back. It stayed in my draft for quite some time but I never felt like posting it till now. So, leave a comment? That's a one sure way to brighten up my day.

*I felt like this post is too ~*~*dark*~*~ so here's a smiley :)

May.

2011-05-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

I get WAY, WAAAAAY too emotionally attached to people on tv/movies. Reality and scripted shows.

So thanks to exams, I only manage to watch The Amazing Race yesterday. Thanks to lack of people(more like none) who watch the show, no spoiler has been revealed to me. Until my mom, that is. I didn't believe her at first though, so I wasn't pissed off.

Isn't it one of the worst feelings ever to know a spoiler of something you've been following very closely, books, movies, tv shows, and the tension is building up inside you and it's just full of suspense until someone just blurt out the 'spoiler' and you just feel like punching something and at that moment you just wish there's a time machine to rewind your life just by 2 seconds?

Yeah been there, felt that. When my sister simply announce who won the Masterchef Junior Australia. Tanpa rasa bersalah pulak tu eiiii.

Anyway back to the main point, I ~~was~~ am still devastated and heartbroken over the fact that Jet and Cord were eliminated.

LEGIT TEARS WERE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE WHEN PHIL ANNOUNCED THEY WERE ELIMINATED.

I don't even remember being this sad over a tv show. The last time was probably when Denny Duquette died on Grey's Anatomy.

But then I don't know, people requested for him to come back and then they had this episode where Meredith were dying and met Denny on the 'other side of the world'. But on The Amazing Race that'd never happen! Well they'll be on the finale.. clapping for the winners by the side -____-

I don't mind if they don't win, but I just want them to be in the final three! Just so I can see them on my television/laptop screen every week lulz.

AND THEN, to make matters worse, my 'back-up' team I rooted for was also eliminated. Kent and Vyxsin. What is this. WHAT. IS. THIS.

And then me, my mom and my sister went shopping for ingredients to make egg tarts only to find out our oven will send the house into pitch-black darkness by turning it on! (Simpler words : oven is spoilt.)

I can't even,.

What a roller-coaster month May has been. And it's only the first week!

LOL I'm more depressed about The Amazing Race than while studying for finals. Not really but my mom may have to hear my rant about Jet & Cord for a few more days before I reach the Acceptance level in the five stages of grief.

Speaking of my mom, I just got back from my parents' room to wish my mom Happy Mother's Day! :)
My sister actually bought a 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM' instead of 'HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY' OMG EPIC FAILLLLL! But our mom was happy nonetheless so yay :)

This is the only picture I can find where my mom is not a 'blur' - meaning she tried to dodge while I'm trying to take a picture.

Case in point :

TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE.

My mom is awesome. Happy Mother's Day, mama! I love you more than anything in the world.

More of Le Crap.

2011-05-07T22:38:00.000+08:00

DONE WITH FINALS!!!

Yeah what a predictable opening line. But THAT is still the fact and you have no idea how glad I am to be over it.

Do you refer to your notes and check your answer right after the test? Y/N? As much as I'd like to say no, I can't resist it sometimes! And then hearing the sound of your heart breaking, kidney failing, bones breaking, teeth falling out because your hope of getting an A for that subject has basically reduced from 0% to -99.99%. Fun times.

Anyway, since I didn't update much, I'm just going to pile it all up in one long post. HUR.

Country radio : Malaysia radio stations suck. They play the same song over and over and over in an infinite loop. And mainly pop songs with repeating lines in the song or songs that are played in the club for partying. Bleh. Blargh. And what I'd do is stream radio that plays only country songs, online. It was awesome. Country songs make me happy. It sounded pure and the lyrics were more honest than 'let's partehhh and get wasted tonite wOoOoOo~~'

Anyway I just randomly Googled and what I listen to is this station and the AOL new country. Yes Taylor Swift introduced me to country music, but I also listen to Kenny Chesney, Billy Currington, Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert, etc. I wish radio stations here play more country music. It's SO MUCH better than the overplayed songs they have.

And I also listen to country songs when I was studying for my finals! I'm not the kind of people who have to have music while studying, but I just need some.. noise to prevent me from falling asleep lulz.

French presentation : Meh I think I did good. Not great, but ohkay. At least I didn't refer to my notes as much as some of my classmates. AND AND the lecture asked me whether 1) I've learned French before, and 2) does anyone in my family speaks French, and 3) do I listen to French songs? - which means I probably did pretty good ey? :) I spent the whole day using Google translate NOT to construct sentences, blindly translate from English to French but to hear the pronunciation.

Group project : For every subject I take in college, there's going to be AT LEAST one group project for it. I used to HATE group projects but now I think I have a love/hate relationship with it. In school when the teacher asked the class to be in a group of two, four, five or whatever, I already have people I will look at and nod. And they'll nod back. No need to say anything it's a mutual agreement. I miss times like that!

Now in college as I am ... anti-social sometimes, most of the time I will just look around.. seeing which group needs another member.. and I'll join. I'm such a loser, I know. But not the whole time, as I'm already in my third semester I'm bound to see the same faces over time so it's easier to just go with people I'm familiar with.

But I very much prefer when the lecturer assigns the group, so I don't have any choice and that saves me from looking and feeling like a loser lulz.

Okay what I hate about group projects :

1) The fact that MY MARKS depend on someone else's hands.
2) There is a HIGH chance that I will get lousy group members, which is most of the time.
3) NOTHING gets done when you get together.
4) Everybody's busy and to find the time when everybody is free is almost impossible sometimes.
5) To put it simply, if ONE PERSON screws up, the WHOLE GROUP screws up.

What I ~~love~~ have learned to like about group projects :

1) You know in Harry Potter when Luna said 'it's like having friends' after she joined the DA? THAT's what I feel like. Okay it's not like I DON'T HAVE any friends at all, I was just exaggerating but at least people don't see me alone all the time and I actually open my mouth and talk.. yeah. It's nice. And sometimes we went for lunch together and stuff.

2) Er I think that's the only thing I like.

So anyway here are some pictures of ~~unlucky~~ people who had to have me as their group member ~~and bringing bad luck to the whole group because I just jinx everything~~

(if I have uploaded these pictures before.. well just look at it again.)

Omg why do I look like.. aldhaksjgdhkjashdlkashdkajgsd. Anyway this was during my first semester! I LOVED them because we were like on the same wavelength and think alike! Great bunch of people :)

This was in my second semester, for Physics class. Awwh I miss this class everybody in class was so nice and the lecturer was very caring!

Third semester, World Religions class. This was when we went to National Mosque and the man second from left is the volunteer there and he helped us SO MUCH! Like he broke the rules for us and let us in when we weren't allow to and stuff. WOOT.

Third semester, Music Appreciation class. Omg. I just want to erase this chapter of my life from my mind forever. Not about the group members but our group got the lowest mark for our 'performance' it was just a horrible experience.

"Can I just be excused for life and get off the stage now"
Lol okay obviously I didn't say that. But look at my *SHINY TEETH*! Awesome, I know.
Actually I wasn't even nervous at that time, I just wanted it to be over with and seeing my lecturer's confused face as what the hell were we doing up there was HILARIOUS. The crowd wasn't that big, probably like.. 50-ish? It was raining, so.

Obviously there were other classes that required me to be in a group but I didn't get any group pictures with them because it'll be.. awkward.
I'm just going to brace myself for the upcoming semester for more group projects. Oh God.

Enjoy the rest of the pictures!

OH I realized I didn't mention it on my blog, but I was on MTV (Asia) , hugging Taylor Swift. HEHEHEHE you couldn't see my face but oh well. Look at the way she hugged me! She just has a way of making you feel special even though she has met millions of fans before. Okay I swear this is the last picture you'll ever see about me meeting Taylor Swift. End of bragging.

My laptop! U JELLY?! Bought it online. Quite expensive but so worth it. It's so pwretty :3 If you want to know the website let me know.

I LOVE EGG TARTS! This was like mini egg tarts but there's a bakery near my college selling the most YUMMMEEEHHHH egg tarts ever! And I just found out our oven IS working after all so I've been Googling egg tarts recipe and planning to make it soon :D Let's hope it'll turn out as good.

I guess from my retarded facial expression you can see how super excited I am for this movie! I refuse to watch the trailer because uh duh, I know it's going to be amazing nonetheless so I don't want any spoiler. And yep, when a lot of my friends were busy crushing over celebrities in their 20s and 30s; Justin Timberlake, Zac Efron, Ashton Kutcher, my ultimate Hollywood crush till this day still remain -- Johnny Depp, 48 years old WHADDAP.

Speaking of Justin Timberlake, I saw this .. advertisement for the student rapidpass card and saw they put his name on the card with a random guy's picture! WHAT IN THE WORLD -__-

You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure.

R.I.P fish we had for.. a few years now. It wasn't that sad for me as I despise washing the aquarium every other month but I wasn't glad either that it died. We have a new fish now but all of its friends died.

How cute was this?? I prefer rabbits over cats but unfortunately you don't see rabbits running around outside your house unless you put it there, so. Which reminds me, my friend's rabbits were eaten by a stray dog long time ago D: That was tragic.

LOL when I went to my friend, An Hao's open house. That was Sonel being very.. Sonel.

She came to my college one time and I just like one song by her now-broken-up band Estrella, called Stay.
But I had a camera with me so I thought I'd take the opportunity to take a picture with her. Also, I wear this grey shirt too often.

One of my favorite moments on this season of The Amazing Race! !!! I just find it cute a cowboy, and a goth, can be friends. ~~Eventhough they look like a gay couple here.~~ C'mon. In a real world that would never happen.

I'm such a freak when it comes to The Amazing Race and the saddest thing is the only person I share the passion with is my mom so when I come to college I'd be like DID YOU WATCH THE AMAZING RACE LAST NIGHT OMG THA-- Oh you didn't? Okay cool.

So here's what it looks like when me and my sister video chat(I'm in the small picture). Fun. (I don't have Skype, but I find Google video chat is very very good.)

Last month I got the chance to go to an orchestra! It was for my music class assignment. It was my first time and got to say it was really fun!

It was 'Bugs Bunny At The Symphony' and oh my childhood. You know the Looney Tunes? It sounded so much different live than on tv! In a good, awesome way. The orchestra was made up of mostly non-Malaysians, but there were a few Malaysian Chinese in there too. And the hall was breathtaking.

The lights. This was during intermission, so I managed to take pictures even though it wasn't allowed haha.

ANYWAY.

I'm just going to enjoy my 2 weeks of break by doing nothing and eat and eat and watch more movies and keep wishing I work at Pixar and visit their cereal bar where they have all sorts of cereal imaginable everyday.
Most of my friends are on holiday too so have a good holiday guys! :)

Le crap.

2011-04-25T12:52:00.000+08:00

OHAI I just developed a new phobia - Twittieberophobia. Where you're scared of logging in to your Twitter and see someone tweet/retweet anything related to Justin Bieber.

Let me set the record straight - I do not hate Justin Bieber. Well I used to. But then I thought it's ridiculous to hate someone just because he's following his dreams. I mean my dream is to have a lifetime supply of Skittles,... but that's not the point.

The point is, it's his ultra, super, highly fanatic fans or 'Beliebers' that I despise. And just an FYI even though I think I've mentioned it before, I am a Taylor Swift fan, but do not like when someone called me a 'Swiftie'. I don't see anything wrong with the term 'Taylor Swift fan'. Or you can add 'dedicated fan' or.. 'loyal fan' if you like. Does claiming yourself as a 'spinacea oleracea' makes you more of a vegetable than saying you're a 'spinach'? No. Plus I'm not even swift, I'm clumsy and socially awkward person so technically it'll be a lie to call me a 'Swiftie'.

I don't care if you met, touched, smelled, sniffed, licked Justin Bieber. I met Taylor Swift and I didn't brag much about it, did I?

Someone smells really bad in this library.

His fans need to set their priorities in life straight. I swear some of them think of Justin as God I'm not even lying. I remember one time, there was an earthquake somewhere(not Japan) and his fans tweet him something like please pray for us, tweet me and I'll feel better, blah blah blah.

Really dude. Really?

How about you actually go to a church/temple/mosque/gurdwara and actually pray. Because just singing ~close my eyes and pray~ does not make any difference in the world. If you're an atheist.. well.. you still should not turn to Justin Bieber to ask for help! Tweeting #prayforjapan is pointless too if you do not actually contribute something, either donation, volunteer or at the very least pray to your God(s). That'll be like 'oh let's all tweet #prayforjapan and eat waffles and go to sleep'.

This guy in front of me is wearing a sunglasses. In the library. I'm sorry my future is so bright you need to wear it indoor to protect yourself. My bad.

And the whole thing about hating Selena just makes the whole thing even more ridiculous. I guess I'm not much of a fangirl of anyone but dude, be realistic. YOU are not going to date Justin Bieber. I've accepted the fact that I am not going to

a) to date Johnny Depp
b) meet a real-life zombie
c) receive my letter from Hogwarts

either so you should just accept the hard, cold reality, ey mate?

You know, I get it. I don't blame girls (and guys - it's okay I know you were 'Born This Way'.) to go crazy over him. He's good-looking, sing oh sewww ~*~*sweet*~*~ songs and ... stuff. But this whole 'Bieber Fever' thing is just EVERYWHERE and it's just SO IN-YOUR-FACE kind of thing. I get it and I have established the fact that you, and so does millions around the world, are in love with him. I can see you're wearing a shirt with his name on it, cool. I can see you're listening to his songs, cool. I can see you hope you'll get a tweet back from him, COOL. Now how about a nice big hot steaming cup of SHUT THE HELL UP!

Oh I can't use the F-word anymore in my blog because apparently my dad's friends read this blog too. I don't get it though, why people write f*** or f**k instead of .. the F-word itself. Is it any politer? What else would f**k stands for anyway? Fwek, frek, fjik or something.. If you say to protect the children from knowing bad words, well children are naturally curious. They can just look it up online or ask someone else. Better to say, 'son, that stands for (insert F-word) and that's a really, really bad word that you should not say to anyone, in any situation. Because that will make you look really, really bad. LOL jk that will make ME look bad and people would say I didn't teach my children and stuff who cares about you.'

Le sigh Anis would make a terrible mother appreciation blog '11.

I don't even know the point of this blog post and I don't make any sense I just write and write non-stop now I feel like I'm drunk blogging.. oh well some people say drunk words are sober thoughts. But yes I can assure you I've never been drunk.. but but I USED TO BE LOVE-DRUNK! Get it? Get it?? :D

Lame joke is lame.

(oh the pictures I promised before are being uploaded as we speak, this rant just have to be posted asap or else my mind is going to explode.)

Have something back to say regarding this post?
If I hurt you and you're trying to hurt me back and you're a coward and wish to remain anonymous, kindly proceed to http://formspring.me/anisfilza

If you're not a coward and wish to reveal yourself, kindly proceed to the same website as I could not care less anyway. #kanyeshrug

Driving to college.

2011-04-19T17:38:00.001+08:00

HI!

I’m so sorry that I haven’t updated my blog in a while. Life has been pretty busy, assignments, performance, tests, quizzes and whatnot. Finals are in two weeks and at this rate, sleep is not an option if the paper is tomorrow! I love you all enough so I'm just going to spare the boring details about how I'm hungry, sleepy, and how life generally just sucks for me nowadays.

However I will tell you that last Friday, I drove to college by myself!(Which is still a boring stuff to read about) Yes I'm in my third semester and last week was my first time driving to college. Usually I will take the train. Okay I admit I got lost, but I managed to find my way eventually and arrived safely in one piece, with all parts of the car still intact and functioning. It took almost one hour(it wasn't even jammed). Honestly I prefer going by train, at least I can sleep! That's what I always say to people anyway. And there were hardly any empty parking spots around and I had to park quite far.. so yeah the experience was.. not that bad, really. There were so, so many GINORMOUS lorries around! Not to mention there were people who, apparently will break their hands or something if they give signals to turn right/left. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. How hard could it be!? Do you need to pay five bucks for every signal? No. Will you lose any parts of the body to give signal? No. Will the chances of accidents happening increase tremendously if you do NOT give signal? YES.

And then yesterday(Monday) I also drove to college. And on the way back, something happened. DUN DUN DUNNN. A group of unicorns were passing the road and then I accidentally hit one of them and unicorn blood was everywhere and so I took a sample to know how it tastes like but Voldemort came and I wanted to Avada Kedavra him but I realized he has a nose so I thought it must be an imposter

I was driving on a two-lane road and I was on the left lane. There was a huge lorry, going very slow in front of me so I decided to switch lane. I was VERY sure there was an ample empty space for me to go in and so I gave the right signal and moved. And then out of sudden, the car behind me honked. I was like DUDE, what the hell? I gave the signal, there was a lot of space, your car wasn't damaged! Whatever I just ignored it and kept on driving. And then after a few meters ahead, I decided to change back to the left lane, as the road was.. hilly and my car couldn't go very fast. That's when The Car That Honked At Me, drove by, and THE SUPER UGLY AND HITLER LOOK-A-LIKE UNCLE SITTING ON THE PASSENGER SEAT, TURNED HIS HEAD AROUND, AND ACTUALLY STARED AT ME WITH HIS EYES STERNED AND TIGHT-LIPPED. As if he wanted to slap me right there and then.

What the actual fc*k?! APA PANDANG-PANDANG? Hek eleh kecoh betul la pak cik ni! Bukannya aku langgar dia pun!

Think I'm scared of you!? _|_

I once read somewhere that 'you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive' which I found very true. I'm that kind of person who practices euphemism and replaces the F-word with 'fish' or 'fudge' and shit with 'shoot'. Because I think if you use them all the time, when you are REALLY pissed about something and say the F-word, it will feel normal. You won't get the 'satisfaction' to release your anger. So I like to 'reserve' it for special occasions.

Like in the above situation.

But it was also one of my mottos not to let idiots, (are in this case unnecessarily rude people) ruin my day so I continue to sing along to Taylor Swift songs and move on.

I'm writing this in college and I feel weird because people are staring so I'll just end it here.

And at the end of this painfully long-winded blog post, I shall now leave a quote to make me appear ~*~*deep*~*~ and wise as opposed to boring and uncool:

"There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is same. Only love."
— Johnny Depp, as Don Juan in Don Juan DeMarco (1994).

ps; I promise there'll be some pictures in the next post!

Sad songs are awesome.

2011-03-29T23:08:00.001+08:00

Oh HEYLOH there.

I almost forgot that a few weeks back, an anonymous sent me a question asking whether I've cried while listening to a song(s). Ask me that five years ago I would probably say 'Ow hell to the naw'. Ask me today and I'll nod up and down so hard, the bobble head toy people put on their dashboard car has a serious competition. Wait they don't really nod but they.. bobble. Oh well I can bobble my head pretty well.

Anyway just to cut this crap short, YES, I've cried. I used to think a song is too short to make me cry. An average song is probably like, 4 minutes? There's not enough storyline to do so.

Boy was I wrong.

I'd like to blame everything on 'hormones', (I don't know why when I say 'hormones' some people would laugh, but hey at least I can be funny... sort of.) but really, some songs are just so damn relatable to your life at that moment and you just can't help but feel overwhelmed by it all. Well at least I do. That feeling you get when you feel as if that song was written especially for you, of how you feel. Man I love songs like that.

If you thought I'm going to start listing down all Taylor Swift song titles here when I mention 'relatable' songs, you were wrong. Yes her songs have made me cry, yes her songs are relatable to my life, but there are other songs that sometimes I can't listen to it at all because I know I'd broke down the moment they get to the chorus or before it ends. So whenever it comes up on shuffle, I'll skip. It was that painful to hear.

So here are songs that have made me cry. Note that 'crying' can mean that I sobbed, or just my eyes pooled with tears but it didn't fell, or crying-so-hard-you're-shaking-and-your-lips-trembling kind of crying. And no I've never had my heart ~*~*broken*~*~ that bad so none of these songs are about that bastard who cheated on me or anything like that.

1) Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word - Blue ft. Elton John
"What do I do when lightning strikes me, and I wake to find you're not there."

I believe this was the very first song that made me cry when I was.. 13? 14? Yeahh it was pretty embarassing. My first crush. Can I just skip explaining this song because this is making me uncomfortable. (AMAZING song nonetheless.)

2) Graduation - Vitamin C
"Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now? Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow? I guess I thought that this would never end, and suddenly it's like we're women and men."

I can't even pick a line in that song to highlight because basically ALL of it is true. I used this song in a cd I made for my classmates when I was 15, in form 3. Sigh that was a great year. I miss my friends so much. We were in the same class for 3 years, we were practically family. But the sad truth is? If we all meet tomorrow we'd be practically strangers. Oh the amount of awkwardness that will fill the room! Tsk, tsk.

3) Welcome To My Life - Simple Plan
"To be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you."

Okay you can't be a teenager and not relate to this song. This is basically the,.. soundtrack of every teenager's life. It has the right amount of 'emo-ness' and every. single. line of the song is just so damn true!

4) Go - Boys Like Girls
"Believe the tunnel can end, believe your body can mend. Yeah, I know you can make it through 'cause I believe in you. So let's go put up a fight, let's go make everything all right."

This is on my 'Down' playlist and naturally whenever I'm feeling down I'll just play this song over and over. This is without a doubt my favorite song by them and I would just bawl my eyes out if I ever get to see them live performing this song. I really like the part 'cause I believe in you'. It's just, comforting knowing someone believed in you. ~~Omagaad Anis get over yourself he didn't write that song about you.~~
But that's what a good songwriter does. Feeling like the song is written especially for you and you felt it in your heart. This was one of those songs.

5) Because Of You - Kelly Clarkson
"Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me."

Um,. This song is pretty personal. Just look at the lyrics or the music video and you'll know what it's about.

6) Long Live - Taylor Swift
"but if god forbid fate should step in and force us into a goodbye; If you have children some day, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name. Tell them how the crowds went wild. Tell them how I hope they shine."

(Okay I only cried at the part when she song the part above, not the whole song.)
I don't know but when Taylor sang that part in bold, I just lost it. It's just, we took pictures to make that moments last, to look back and dwell on how happy we were when that picture was taken, no matter how miserable we are feeling now. I know no matter how hard we try to hold on to these memories, it'll fade. Friendships grew apart. But if, let's say, my friends have children and somehow found those old Facebook pictures and they ask their parents who those people in the background were, I don't want to be 'just someone at my school.' I get a feeling that names will be forgotten, but I hope they, my friends, never forget the feelings they got when we joked around, when we got punished together for not finishing our homework, when we did that choral speaking in front of the whole school. When we went camping together and it was dark in the night and we hold each other's hands and we won't let go, no matter what happened. I miss that. When we went to Genting together, that freedom of being on (almost) top of the world.

So I hope when somebody asked you who I am, you can say not just my name but all of us in that background. Tell your children how we were once uhm,.. infinite. And fearless :)

7) One Day You Will - Lady Antabellum
"Like no one would even notice if you left this town and never came back."

This song, above all, gave me hope. 'You'll find love, you'll find peace, [...] I know right now that's not the way you feel, but one day you will.' That line is just perfect. I always have bad days now, that sometimes I feel I just want to run and escape from all this,.. shit. But hey maybe one day I will be okay. Not today, probably not tomorrow either, but someday.

8) Get It Right - Rachel Berry (Glee)
"What can you do when your good isn't good enough?"

I listened to this song in the bus, and I cried. I tried to control my tears but every time that line comes on, I just broke down. But nobody notices it. Of course nobody did. I was hoping someone will ask me 'are you alright?' or 'everything's going to be okay' like in the movies but of course that didn't happen. I feel like I can be suicidal sometimes.

-----

If I ever meet any of the singers/songwriters for the songs above, the first thing I'm going to say is, thank you. Thank you for your songs. Thank you for writing that. Thank you for helping me the way nobody can.

So there ya go peeps. This emotional post was brought to you by yours truly. Actually I'm pretty sure there are more songs than the ones above that made me cry but I don't feel like sharing it because it'd be too personal.
I don't know what is it about sad songs that make them so amazing. I guess a really powerful song that can make you cry are those written when the writer was in deep pain, and by letting it all out in a song maybe their pain can be eased. I hope it did for them because that's what they did to me in their songs.

ps; just to throw it out there, yes I do pray to God in hard times, not just listen to all these music.

And to ask me any question or request me to blog about something : http://formspring.me/anisfilza is the place to go.

"Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in you or the world that one song stays the same, just like that moment. Which is pretty amazing, when you actually think about it."
- Sarah Dessen, Just Listen.

Amazing zombie elevator.

2011-03-05T15:44:00.000+08:00

LOL OKAY this post doesn't have anything to do with..'an amazing zombie trapped in a elevator' or 'a zombie being stuck in an amazing elevator'. It's just because in this post I talked about The Amazing Race, zombie, and something that happened in the elevator so I just combined all three :p And also something about the book 13 Reasons Why.

I swear the title is the hardest thing to come up with. And it's 2AM so my brain is not functioning properly now. Excuse the lameness.

I realized I always start my long blog post with 'This is going to be a long post and nobody will read it's okay if you don't blah blah blah..'
When really, I was too uhm, insecure. So from now on I'll just write whatever I want, how long I want, and stop caring whether people read it or not.

~~Also, I use too many commas.~~
Okay.

Have you ever feel like you have too much thoughts in your head and it ranges from what food to eat today to is this girl beside me really watching a Jonas Brothers music video, to where is my phone, to what the hell even happened to Charlie Sheen I don't care, to did we all just watch porn in our music class just now, why is Starbucks coffee so expensive I don't even like coffee though--

and then you feel like you need some music in your ears right AT THAT MOMENT or else you feel like you're suffocating and can't breathe?

No? Because that just happened to me.
I wish I own a Pensieve.

No we didn't watch porn, but this dude is like, kissing this girl's boobs, or something, it was, ...

OKAY LET'S JUST KEEP THIS BLOG PG-13 THANK YOU.

The Amazing Race : Unfinished Business.

The best reality show ever, hands down. I'm so excited for this because it's an all-star one! I've been watching this show since forever and I recognized everyone this season. This show will never ever get boring! It's just fail-proof. There's always new places to go, new challenges, new rules, new crazy contestants. One thing that has not changed is the host! Phil Keoghan. How amazing is his job!? He doesn't have to do all the hard work and challenges but still the first to arrive at the pit stop MWAHAHAH. But seriously. He has the best job on television.

~*~*TOTAL FANGIRL MODE~*~*

JET & CORD. OH MY GRAVY. I COULDN'T BE MORE EXCITED TO SEE THEM AGAIN!
THEY'RE JUST SO ADORABLE AND NICE AND RARELY FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER AND I'M SORRY THAT I'M TYPING IN CAPS I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

My favorite part will always be when one of them do the road block, his brother will put his hat on top of his own. Like this.

Jet had to do one of the road block, so Cord will put Jet's hat on top of his. And vice versa. Or is it just Cord? Whatever they're still awesome.

They never take their cowboy hats off unless they really, really need to.

The last time, when they didn't win, I was crushed! This season I just hope they make it to the finals again, just so I can see them on my tv(or laptop) every week :)

I was hoping to see Team Jumba but since they were 'fresh off' of last season, maybe it was too soon. Oh well.

-------

Another team, Mel & Mike. Okay let me just say MIKE, is living my dream right now. Why?

1) He has been on The Amazing Race. Twice. Okay fine.
2) HE WAS ON ZOMBIELAND.
He was credited as 'Victim in Bathroom' on IMDB HAHAHAHAHA.

But he was also in that scene where Wichita(Emma Stone) and Little Rock(Abigail Breslin) bluffed him and ended up giving the a lot of money for a fake diamond ring. Smart.

Anyone who knows me well enough would know my ULTIMATE DREAM would either to be a zombie, or to die, being bitten by a zombie. Okay wait scratch that. I just want to be in a movie related to zombies. The killer, the killed, the bitten, the biter, whatever. Or just being on set of a zombie movie and see behind the scene of it all. That would seriously make my life.

Okay nobody cares, Anis, move on.

Anyway after some researching, I also found out he's one of the producers for Dawson's Creek. Dawson's Creek was not really my time, but I'm pretty sure it was really popular those days. He also wrote The School of Rock, and Nacho Libre, which means he's probably a really good friend with Jack Black lulz.

Bottom line is, he must be very rich already! If they won The Amazing Race, he'll probably be like 'Oh a million dollar? That's cool I'll just add that in to another 50 millions I already have in the bank no big deal.'

Lol okay I don't know how much he has earned but I'm pretty sure he has more than 10 millions in his bank.

EDIT : They were eliminated already this week lulz. Pity his dad, he was very sick at some point in the race :/

I read and reviewed Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher last year. It was truly an amazing book. Now, like any other successful books, some production company would make a movie out of it. Most of the times, it will suck. Seriously.

They cast the wrong actors, they changed the storyline too much, they changed the ending. It will just ruin the book. As for Thirteen Reasons Why, as excited as I am to watch the movie adaptation, I, Anis Filza, completely disapprove Selena Gomez as Hannah Baker(the girl who committed suicide). Not that I have a say at all in choosing the actors, but I just don't want her to be in it.

This is affecting me probably more than it should.

I just don't see her as Hannah. She's too bubbly and princess-y and 'too Disney'(yeah I just used Disney as an adjective) to play such a deep, amazing character. And also, like I said to my dear Catherine, the media will focus too much on her rather than the important message in the book. And that's a shame.

Logan Lerman is also rumored(or confirmed? I don't know) to play Clay Jensen. I don't have any problem with that at first, but he's too cute to play Clay. LOL OKAY I'm sorry I'm too picky. It's just, it's one of my favorite books ya know? I CARE for these people. These imaginary people who has affected my life and for a while they were my best friends.

I like this quote :

“I hate finishing novels. I make friends with the characters, share their experiences, and root them on. Then the book ends and they stop talking to me.”

I don't know who said that quote but I found it on booklover.tumblr.com.

I swear my head is like, 90% lyrics and 10% quotes. From movies, tv shows, books, internet. I like quotes. It's like borrowing someone else's intelligence. Hahaha.

I want Thomas Dekker to play Clay. Right when I read the first chapter of the book, I picked him. He's just perfect to play Clay. PERFECT.

If you watch him in Heroes(first season), or Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, you'd know what I'm talking about.
And OH, he was also the bald guy in My Sister's Keeper. In that movie alone you can see what an incredible actor he is. He was EYEBROWS-LESS but yet the emotions he potrayed! Just super talented.

See, I didn't even mention anything about his good looks. Because I just want great actors, not ones with fame and cute faces to be in that movie DAMMIT.

And in case you haven't read that book and wonder what I'm babbling about, kindly do yourself some favor and go to the nearest book store and BUY IT. Or borrow or steal.

Okay this happened few weeks ago but it was still cool so I'm just going to tell you about it.

It was 4pm which means it's 'rush hour' in my college. Basically it's 'rush hour' at 8am, 10am, 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, 6pm. Because that's when classes start/end.
So people would want to use the elevator and the frequent scenario you would encounter is you are on the 6th floor, and you want to go to the first, but the elevator has been occupied by people on the 9th, 8th, 7th floor so you have no choice but to use the stairs instead.

Which is actually not bad, the stairs are wide and students use it all the time. I like to use it too when I go downstairs, going up will take extra effort heh.
Anyway one time, I was on the 5th floor, and the elevator that opened was going up(I wanted to go down.) But I decided to hop in anyway because when the elevator came back down, it will be full. (Okay my college has 3 main elevators, but it's still full so.) So after the last person in the elevator left , I pressed Level 1.

I sighed knowing it will stop at pretty much every level after this, and even though for example people at the 10th floor has occupied the elevator, we still have to stop at every level after that only to close the doors back. That happens a LOT.

And that's when I remembered this trick I read online.

AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS!
The elevator went straight down to the first floor without stopping. I walked out LIKE A BOSS.

LOLOLOL ~~

Well okay I'll just wait here while you stare at that .gif for 5 minutes..Okay.

You can say 'how do you know maybe nobody else was on the floors below you so you went straight down to the first'

However my friend, that's an unlikely situation since it was a 'rush hour' and someone, at some floor, would have pressed the button to go down.
When I went out, there weren't many people waiting in front of the elevator I was in because they were expecting the other two elevators to open first. SEE?

That was seriously the coolest thing I've done in a while. Because ya know, being in college doesn't give you a lot of time to go out and do something fun.

Which reminds me, Sunway Lagoon finally has a permanent bungee(or is it bungy?) jump. It's the first in Malaysia I think. But it was only about 21 meters high and for Malaysians, we have to pay RM 78(for foreigners RM 130). That's really expensive for one short jump! Urgh. TWENTY-ONE. Other places in the world has 100, 200, 300 meters. Sigh but I think I'll still try the one on Sunway someday, just to get a taste of it. And to think Sunway Lagoon is literally 10 minutes away from my college.

ABU, MUS, ALIN, I WILL DRAG YOU GUYS INTO THIS. I'm not jumping alone! :P

That's all for now. I honestly hope and pray for Japan, and the rest of the world to be okay. Not great, or awesome, just.. okay. Even that will be enough. Stay strong, everyone.

Image credits : atphoto

Kill them with kindness.

2011-02-23T17:38:00.000+08:00

Don't you just love secrets? I think everyone has one that they would never tell to anybody, even in life and death situation. Okay not 'I-broke-my-mom's-vase' kind of secret, but the kind of secret that would either 1) Make a good novel 2) Deserve one whole episode on Oprah. The one that makes you cringe on the inside and think there would be nothing worse in the world than someone finding out.

When I was in primary school, it was such a rush when my friend comes up to me and said 'I wanna tell you something but DON'T tell anyone. Pinky promise.'

And pinky promise is serious business. There's no other way around it.

Image credits : weheartit

I find it interesting how sometimes we can't tell something to our closest friends or family, yet we tell it to the whole world on the internet. Like on PostSecret or blogconfession, or sixbillionsecrets.

(Well of course I won't post any secret here on my blog, considering my parents and a lot of my friends read it. It'd defeat the purpose. But I did submit one on blogconfession ;) I don't know if they've approved it but, yeah.)

Anonymous or not, we'd choose to tell a secret to a stranger rather than a friend. At least I would. It's safer. Maybe it's easier because they don't know much about me to actually care if my secret is horrible or embarrassing. Or it's not like we'll see each other in real life, so it's not affecting our friendship or anything. You'd be surprised how much some people actually care for people they don't know on the internet.

From my experience, from the people I've gotten to know, if there's one thing I learned is we all put a mask. To get through the day. This is not even going to be an ~*~*emo*~*~ post, it's the truth. I know someone who is always happy-go-lucky and bubbly and SO cheerful that I envy her for that. But one day she told me she used to be bulimic. I was taken aback. I think she's beautiful.
We all have have that one person we wish so much we could be, oh she's pretty, she doesn't have to worry about not getting a boyfriend, or oh she's so rich, she can have anything she wants in life. In most cases though, life ain't sweet to anybody.

I guess everyone is vulnerable. Even the one we think has enough strength and confidence to last a lifetime.

We don't know what's going on in someone else's head, in someone else's life. Hell, I don't even know what's going on in my head most of the time. You see and judge someone based on what THEY CHOSE for YOU to see. Behind closed doors, when there's no one looking, who knows? The pain, the tears. The suffering they have to bear.

I think that's why it's so important for us to be kind. Not overly nice or lovingly sweet that makes people go awww everytime. Just, kind.

You can argue 'But everyone else is mean to me anyway, why should I be nice? There's so few people I can actually trust in this world.' Well the world IS mean. And unfair. And I'm not trying to be a fortune teller here but at this rate, it always will be. And people are people, and some are just raised wrongly, or mingled with the wrong people and grew up to be a pain in the society's ass. That's how they are. People will hurt you even when you try to block them out. Some people just know the exact thing they can say to hurt you deep inside.

But you can't use that excuse to be mean to other people back. Because then it will go round in circle and the world will only be one step back from being a better place, if 'better' even a word to describe the world right now.

I read a story in Chicken Soup For The Soul once, how this girl at school used to bully her. Instead of replying with snide comments back, she tried to be nice to the bully. She smiled and complimented her and not even with a slight hint of sarcasm. At some point the bullying stops. When they want to see you hurt and you're not showing any signs of it, they got tired anyway. That's what I called 'kill them with kindness.' You know, like the good ol' quote by Martin Luther King, Jr.,
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Image credits : Anna Amphigorously

I'm not saying I'll turn into Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi and be good to everyone I see. Some people are just annoying you can't help but to want to punch them in the face once in your life.
But you'll look at someone so differently if you suddenly found out oh his mom just died, oh he just got into an accident recently and almost died, oh her best friend committed suicide.

It's called empathy. Being in someone else's shoes.

But of course, beware of those ~~backstabbing bitches~~. Being too kind is never good, people can take advantage of you. Just know the right line to walk. And well to trust people? I stll have no expertise in that area but I'm slowly learning to. But like Ernest Hemingway said, "the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." You can't walk around thinking everyone will break your trust. Believe that long enough, people won't trust you in return.

So be kind and ye shall be treated nicely in return too. Karma can be a powerful thing :)

Taylor Swift Live in Singapore! (updated)

2011-02-11T20:10:00.000+08:00

** Updated 15 February 2011 : I posted our group picture at the very end of this post.

So I've had a lot of people asking me to blog about this and of course I will! If not for ... whoever is reading this, this is mainly for myself and my future grandchildren to see how cool their grandmother was, yawww.

First things first.
1) This is super long and I'm aware you won't read everything, but I will ten years from now. I know most people would probably just scroll and look at the pictures but that's okay too.

2) My grammar is ALL OVER THE PLACE and I'm sure I've made a lot of grammar mistakes to last a lifetime on this post. But I was just concerned of writing everything that came to my mind so I won't forget anything.
3) All pictures are mine unless stated(credits were given).

Okay here goes!
(Wait to recall, flights and accommodation were given. Meaning it's all-expense paid trip, I won from MTV(plus concert tickets and meet & greet). If I didn't win those things, my parents won't pay a cent for the trip! :P)
To read how I won the contest, click here.

9 February 2011.
6:30am.
We left the house at 6:30 am, and our mom sent us to Bank Negara KTM Station, and then took the train to KL Sentral, and from KL Sentral we took the KLIA Express(which is a 30 minutes journey) straight to KLIA. It was the best option since sending us to KLIA in the morning would be troublesome anyway.

Duh what other shirt would I be wearing. I looked super sleepy because I WAS.

Yup.

8:25am.
Arrived in KLIA and I RAN LIKE CRAZY to the Singapore Airlines counter. Our flight is actually at 10:25am, but everybody says for international flight we have to be there at least 2 hours early blah blah blah. But WE MADE IT. FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE AMAZING RACE I KID YOU NOT. (Yeah that was probably the closest experience I'll get to the real race.) We checked in and they checked us in for the return flight too, which was really great so we won't be rushing tomorrow.

Economy class was good enough, I don't even mind if I have to sit in the toilet throughout the journey as long as I can get to Singapore! Hahahah

Since we had quite a lot of time, we had our breakfast at McDonald's, which was of course almost double the price of normal McD outside KLIA. But we were hungry so we had no choice.

I think it should be mentioned here on my blog that I'm a paranoid person. I was afraid my camera would run out of battery(even though I just charged it last night and we didn't take many pictures on the way to the airport) so we even looked for a plug to charge the battery. Muhahah.

9:30am.
We left McDonald's and saw this souvenir shop and bought a Malaysia bookmark for Taylor(which I ended up forgetting to bring lulz) and then to toilet so we won't have to use the super small toilet in the plane.

We used the autogate to have our passports checked(because it was much cooler than having the staff the check it)

Our boarding gate was C3. There was this Chinese guy I think about my age who asked how to get to gate C17 and I said we can take the aerotrain but turns out,

it broke down so we had to take a bus. Which is a rapidKL bus like you would normally see on the road! Bahahah but I think it was a bit smaller. I asked him where is he flying to and he replied Melbourne to study. How cool. I said I'm going to Singapore for Taylor Swift concert and by the look on his face I think he didn't know who she is LOL.

On our boarding ticket, it said the boarding time is at 9:40 am instead of 10:25am. And so when the clock strikes 9:40am, and I saw on the screen gate C3 is already ‘boarding’ instead of ‘gate open’, we RAN, again. But the staff there said ‘sabar, sabar, awal lagi’. Hahah. And so we waited.

10:25am.
We entered the plane by row numbers(ours was 48) and half of the plane was unoccupied. Meh. And my seat was 48H and my sister’s 48J so we thought we wouldn’t be sitting side by side, but we did.

I wanted a seat right next to the window but we didn’t get that. So halfway through the journey, I switched seat to the row in front of me. Because all of the rows in front of me was empty! .__. Luckily we got free juice because I was really thirstyy.

11:35am.
Landed safely in Singapore! On the way to the arrival hall there’s a free internet service so of course we used it :P

So now we have to take the MRT to our hotel. We just followed the signs and found the MRT station and bought tickets. It cost about $3.10 each for a single journey but later we found out we can refund $1 so the total cost was $2.10.

I was a pro at sleeping in the train back in Malaysia but I couldn't do it here hahahah

The escalator was SUPER DUPER long/tall/high.

We had to change trains twice, and it took about 40 minutes to reach our hotel. (I’ve done a thorough research on how to get there by train, and even looked at Google Street to see how far is our hotel to the nearest MRT station there haha). We stopped at Wendy’s for lunch(take-away) because it was very near to our hotel and it has a halal sign, so.

1:04pm.
Got lost a little bit to find Hotel Rendezvous’ entrance. We found the building, but dunno where the entrance is. We went almost full circle and found it.

During check-in, we had to pay $100 just in case we took anything from the ‘mini bar’ so they can just deduct from that. We only had $150++! We had no choice and pay anyway and pray we have enough money to buy stuff. Nevertheless, the hotel was really great! A bit small, but very comfortable.
We took videos, not pictures so I'll just take snapshots from it.

After that, we rest for a while. I was VERY sleepy but couldn’t sleep! Not because I was too excited for the concert but just, I dunno. I just can’t sleep. K. My sister did. Ugh I’m so jealous of people who can go to straight to sleep the moment they put their head on the pillow.

4:30pm – 6:30pm

Changed clothes muhahah SPARKLEHHHH I LIKE. And why was my leg like that .__.

We left our hotel early because we need to go to the money changer to change ringgit to dollars in case we don’t have enough money. And also we need to meet the people from MTV by 6pm and collect our concert tickets and the meet & greet. Again, we took the MRT. From Bras Basah station to Stadium station.

Anyway here's what I gave her, a pillow for traveling(since she's touring) that has 13 on it(her lucky number) and a book(Pretty Little Mistakes by Heather McElhatton - I know, I know, as if she's going to read it. But I read there's this one fan who even gave her a Jodi Picoult's book and she loved it, so. And the book I gave to her is not like normal storybooks, you can choose your storyline after each section. Google it to know more)

And this ring. I think it's quite big but that's already Small sizeeeee.

^ My sister's hand hahaha

It reminds me of T-Party(It's not 'tea party', T-Party. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s basically a meet & greet, but more personal where there’ll be food and her band members will be there and you get to hang around with Taylor. To get invited usually you won’t have good seats(the front rows and moshpit RARELY get) but yet you enjoyed and act crazy the whole concert.)

It was only 4 stops away. We found the merch store first and the tshirts were quite expensive! So we only bought the Speak Now bracelets.

So on the way to the admin office(where we should meet up) there were LOUD screamings coming from one of the stadium entrance and yes, Taylor Swift herself just came out. I nearly cried! I saw just glimpses of her from the side since fans were already pushing each other to get pictures/signatures.

From my side.

^ Picture credits to Taylor Swift official forum. ^

But on my side her bass player, Amos(the one who replied my tweet twice lulz)

came and took pictures with the fans. There weren’t many people there because maybe not many fans know who he is -__-

Taylor wasn’t out very long, she went back inside but she did wave to my side. I GASPED. She's just SO beautiful!

So we waited and at 6pm, the people from MTV(her name is Kossy) came and gave us our tickets and said we have to be at the admin office at 6:45pm for the meet & greet.

She saw me holding the paper bag and asked if it’s for Taylor. I said yes and she was unsure if it’s allowed to bring stuff for her and maybe she will have to take it and give to her management people, to pass it to Taylor. But then she said I can hold on to it first. So we sat and waited at the side. There were a lot of fans wandering around with huge signs, self-made tshirts, with 13 or TS painted on their faces. We bought some drinks and at this point I was very tired lulz. Okay seriously wtf is wrong with people at concerts. It's like when someone screams then everybody around them will scream then everybody screams then the whole place erupts as if Taylor was there. But she wasn't. It's always like that before any concert! Blagh.

6:45pm – 7:30pm
The meet & greet. Okay first of all, few days before today, MTV sent me an email explaining the rules of the meet & greet. There will be no personal cameras(there'll be a photographer to take pictures for you), can’t bring anything for her to sign, there will be a signed headshots given, and there’ll only be a group photo. I was devastated! But I brought my camera anyway. Screw them and their rules.

So at 6:45 they gave us this yellow strap, and again they wanted to take the paperbag but I said can I just give it to her personally and they said okay.

Kossy was so nice, she said she really hoped we can give the stuff to her personally. And then we were brought inside to the backstage!! We waited and there were about 30+ of people who I assume won the meet&greet from other contests. We all sang along to some of her songs and it was awesome :) And there were crews filming for I dunno who/what station so I hope I didn't embarrass myself that much :P

I met her father backstage and he gave me guitar picks! :D

[picture deleted]
Mr. Scott Swift, yaw. I even asked him if there's a T-Party that night and he said maybe.

From left : Winner from Indonesia(Sharon), 2 at the back from Singapore(winner is the one on the right), and the other 2 are winners from other contest I think.

We waited and waited and then we entered this room and there it was, TAYLOR SWIFT HERSELF.

Dunno if you can see her, but yeah. Right after I took this the people there said 'no photography'. Ugh stfu. I just couldn't believe my eyes! Taylor Swift was in front me. Moving. Talking. Smiling. Not still like in pictures or videos. REAL. ALKSDHALKSHDKJAGSDKHA.

She was taking pictures with other fans and we waited for our turn. The staff there took our bag but I had my camera, iPod, and album cover with me.

Our turn came. She said ‘hey!’ ‘Thank you so much for coming you guys!’ and then she hugged me. OH MY GOD. She’s SO beautiful, thin and tall! When I hugged her I almost cried okay. I wanted to cry but I don’t want to look horrible in my picture T_T She's so nice and down to earth. She didn't have this 'I'm a big superstar who sold 1 million albums in one week and won 4 Grammys yeah I'm better than everybody' kind of aura around her at all! She's so, normal. So after we all hugged her, (I was the 4th out of 6th) and at first Taylor was like at the end and I said ‘Taylor come to the middle!’ and she was like ‘oh yeah’ and so the photographer from MTV took our picture. I WAS STANDING RIGHT BESIDE TAYLOR SWIFT IN THE PICTURE! AND I PUT MY ARMS AROUND HER WAIST HEHEH. (You put your arms around me for the first time~~ lulz) and so I quickly took out this ring I want to give her personally and I was like shaking while saying ‘this one is for you because it reminds of me T-Party' and she looked shocked and said ‘this is so cute!’ and I took out my iPod and asked her to sign it. I was all over the place at this point and forgot to take my camera to take a picture with her :( (but I was right beside her in the picture so I can just crop it heehhe) I also took out my album cover but then I don’t know I slipped it or something and it was gone! But our turn was done and I had to move aside and then I saw her mom, Andrea and ask ‘can I get a hug??” and she was like ‘of course!’ and I said ‘you guys give the best hug ever!’ And she laughed and introduced me to her husband, Scott Swift. ‘This is Taylor’s dad’ and I was like ‘Oh yeah I saw him just now’ and he said ‘do you want a guitar pick?’ so I took it, again. Hahah. So now I have 3. And then I was like searching for my album cover in the paper bag(which I forgot to give to Taylor wtf I only remember the ring) and her mom was like ‘what are you searching for honey?’ ‘and I said ‘my cover’ and then her dad saw me and put his hands inside the paper bag and took out the ring box cover and said ‘is this what you’re looking for?’ and I replied ‘no my album cover!’. Her mom looked around too and we looked at the spot where we took picture with Taylor to see if I dropped it there. Nope.

I looked at this sofa behind us and there’s a pile of gifts fan gave to her and then I saw my album cover there and took it. And the ring I gave her was there too on the sofa, which is small and can easily misplaced! So I took it and gave it to her mom and said ‘can you just keep this for Taylor because it’s really small..’ and she replied ‘Awww sure see I’m wearing it now’ and she did, she wore it on her fingers! Hehe. And then I asked ‘Will there be a T-Party tonight?’ and she replied ‘We’ll try to.’ ‘Oh okay.' ‘Enjoy the show tonight okay? You’re so adorable!’ She smiled and then I left :) I was the only one of the 6 who’s still in there while the others have left. Maybe because I was the only one who knows her mother and had a little conversation with her so the people there can’t just push me away and ask me to leave haha. I looked for my bag(as in handbag) but couldn’t find it and I know my sister must’ve taken it but I purposely looked around for it just to stay longer in the room hahah. I managed to put the paperbag(pillow + book inside) on the sofa with the rest of the gifts.

(So I still haven't received The Picture yet, but will be sure to post it the moment they emailed me :))

And so I met my sister outside and we walked, and took the escalator to the North entrance. There were people waiting beside the escalator and there’s this woman saying ‘Anybody selling tickets? Anybody selling tickets?’ It must’ve been for her daughter. I was like, whoa. On the way there Kossy called and asked us to go to the admin office again to ‘shoot for MTV’. And so we came down and waited in front of the admin office. Jin from hitz.fm was there too but I was too lazy to take picture with him. There's this Indonesian woman came to us and actually wants our yellow wristband just so she can go the meet & greet o__O Uh yeah it doesn't work that way. Firstly I don't know how to take it off, and second she just can't go back inside because security was really right. So she just left.

So there were VJ Utt and VJ Holly there and so the producer(a Chinese guy) came and explained to all 6 of us(more like 5, the winner’s mom from Indonesia just sat at the side) that what we have to do was basically, act crazy and screaming as if we just met Taylor, which we kinda did but if was as if our expression at the time was how we looked RIGHT after we met her. And I said to the producer ‘Basically what we’re going to do is embarrass ourselves.. in front of, the whole Asia?’ and he grinned, gave two thumbs up, and said ‘EXACTLY’. HAHA. And so we entered the admin office, and on cue, we went out while screaming as if we JUST met Taylor and interviewed by both of the VJs. They asked us how was it, how she looked like and we’re all ‘SHE’S SO PRETTY OMG SHE’S SO TALL’ and they asked did you touch her and I said ‘I get to hug her! We can die happily!’ *facepalm* I know it was ‘we can die happy’ but somehow ‘happily’ slipped out. Shit. Whatever. Then they asked us to pick a music video and I wanted to pick Tim McGraw which is my personal favorite but ended up picking ‘Mine’.

So that’s going to be on tv. I don’t know when but hopefully soon :P AND OH I FORGOT. During the meet & greet, while we were hugging Taylor etc, the cameraman from MTV who shoots us with the VJs was there too, filming! So I HOPE they have a footage of me hugging Taylor! REALLY, REALLY HOPE SO.

Anyway, we then hugged Kossy saying THANK YOU SO MUCH because if it wasn’t for them, we won’t be able to meet Taylor. The people from MTV was so nice! Compared to *cough* YNOS (read it backwards) Music Malaysia who LITERALLY pushed me away when I went to meet Kris Allen. Pssssh.

7:30pm.
So then we went back to queuing from the North entrance, and went inside the stadium. I’ve read on this forum that cameras weren’t allowed and they’ll confiscate it during security check. YEAH RIGHT. They didn’t even check my bag bahahah. They checked my sister’s since hers was quite big, but it was like only 2 seconds. We found our seats, and yes we didn’t get the front rows or anything. Which is actually fine by me. Because there’s a possibility I might get chosen for the T-Party! I was a bit selfish la to see her for the second time but it doesn’t hurt to try! :P I bought this glow sticks and was busy ‘glowing’ it before the concert.

When we came in the opening act(I don’t know who, but it was a band or something from Singapore) has already started.

When they performed their last song, everybody was screaming. LOL. Poor them. The reason people were screaming so loud must’ve been because ‘YES they’re finished now Taylor will come out!’ I’ve been to some concerts before and know no concert ever starts RIGHT AFTER the opening act ended. They even turned all the lights back on after the opening act. I thought we couldn’t bring food inside so we didn’t buy anything but the winner from Indonesia and her mom bought hotdogs. Waaaant. But we did bring the drinks so it’s all good.

(The yellow wristband/strap is what they gave for the meet & greet)

LOL SORRY at this point y'all are probably tired of seeing my face all the time muhahah.

8:30pm.
Lights were dimmed. Fans were screaming. There’s a video intro where we can hear Taylor said something like ‘there’s a time when you should say ‘I’m sorry’, there’s a time for silence, there’s a time for waiting your turn, but if you know how you feel and what you need to say, you’ll know it. Speak Now.’ Something like that it was longer and it was awesome but I didn’t record it! As I was seated at the side, I can see Taylor was already on stage! As she sang ‘DROP EVERYTHING NOW’ from Sparks Fly, the curtain fell and thousands of fans screamed and the sound was deafening! Well, I was one of them ;) I’m sure you can find videos of her performance on Youtube so I don’t feel like writing everything about the concert but here’s some pictures.

Blurry because I didn't know what setting for my camera I have to use.

She actually sounded AMAZING live! So to whoever said she can’t sing, screw you. She definitely wasn’t miming, and she wasn’t out of breath or looked tired after jumping and dancing all around the stage!

Here’s the setlist for the concert, in order :

1) Sparks Fly
OMG I danced around and screamed so loud because I've been listening to the original version of the song, the one before she put it on her latest album and can't believe I get to listen to it now, live! I even managed to call my friend, Mus during this song. One minute call to Malaysia was so expensive! RM 6! But I know he enjoyed it, right Mus!? YOU OWE ME.

2) Mine
After that, she talked for a while and introduced herself. I’ll include it in the video but I’ll write it here.
“Hello Singapore! (pause + fans screaming) Welcome, to Speak Now WORLD TOUR! (more screaming) I’m Taylor *waves* To be honest, this is, the very first show of the Speak Now tour! How does that make you feel? (more screaming) To tell you a little bit about me, I spend most of my time writing songs about life, and love, heartbreak, love and heartbreak, and love, and heartbreak. Mostly love and heartbreak. But one thing you guys have taught me, is that no matter what language we speak, no matter how far we live from each other, we experience love and heartbreak in the same way (pause and smile) And by showing up tonight, you also taught me that no matter what love and heartbreak throw at me, it’s gonna be alright *laughed and smiled* And tonight, we get to sing, to dance, we get to jump up and down with you my closest friends in Singapore, and what I want to know is, ARE YOU READY?”

3) The Story Of Us – I was jumping and screaming to this song! It wasn’t even my favorite on the album but it was so catchy and a must to dance to :)

4) Back To December – She sat down to play the piano and I LOVE what she said before this song!

(Small picture because I snapshot this from a video I took)

"I write songs about things like, burning my ex-boyfriends' pictures (pause + fans screaming). I write songs about the times that I’ve been hurt by love. But then one day, I woke up and realized that, I have hurt somebody. So I wrote this song to tell him I’m sorry.”

She actually did a mash-up of Back To December with Apologize(OneRepublic, like she did during one award show) and also with You’re Not Sorry from her Fearless album. OH MY GOD. IT WAS AWESOME! Favorite performance of the night! I wish she sang the full song for You’re Not Sorry because that song was definitely top 3 of my favorite songs by her!
I also called my sweet friend, Maryam during this song. I owe her because she called me when she was at Boys Like Girls' concert and Two Is Better Than One was playing :) Love you, Maryam!

5) Better Than Revenge – There’s this short clip of a girl leaving a somewhat slutty message to a guy on the phone before the song. LOL TAYLOR. She must’ve really hated Camilla :P and then came the ‘Go stand in the corner and think of what you did’. People go crazy when they hear ‘go stand in the corner’ and the rest you can’t really hear because they know what song comes next :P I didn’t sing to this song, I SCREAMED SO LOUD I was pretty sure I won’t be able to sing the next song but luckily I can still sing lulz.

6) Speak Now – It was SO CUTE! Taylor and her bandmates, Caitlin and Liz changed costumes and wore like a bridesmaid dress and they even did this cute choreograph during the song :D

^ NOT my picture. Credits here.

And after the last part of the song ‘So glad you were around when they said Speak Now ~ So run away now’ and then she went down to the crowd and go to the second stage, which is at the back of stadium. Of course, security was there. “Can I hang out with you guys at the back row for a while?” YOU SEE. THIS IS WHY I LOVE HER. She didn’t use the back of the stadium to go the second stage, she went to the massive audience in front to be closer to her fans. She went to the second stage just so people who weren’t front rows can enjoy the show too. I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND SHE’S JUST AN AMAZING PERSON. YOUR ARGUMENT IS FOREVER INVALID.

7) Fearless – So on the second stage she had a ukulele. She performed a mash-up of Fearless and I’m Yours(Jason Mraz).

“This is my ukulele. I like to play this instrument on happy songs.. because I think it sounds happy(the way she said that was so cute!) And I don’t think there’s any feeling quite as happy, as the feeling you got, when falling for someone. You see, it sort of like, you’re fearless.”

8) Fifteen – “I learned some important lessons in life and I think the hardest lesson you ever learned, are the ones you have to keep learning over and over again. Because sometimes I still feel like, I’m still learning the lessons that I started learning, when I was fifteen.” I shouted throughout this song seriously.

9) You Belong With Me – She still played this song on ukulele and halfway she went back to the main stage through the audience like how she came.

10) Dear John – I thought she won’t be performing this song because it was slow and maybe tough for her to sing as it was very personal, and it’s one of my favorite songs on the album but I couldn’t enjoy it as much because. Well. These girls behind me got invited to the T-Party. I was pretty sure the lady who gave them the invitation was named Lauren.

T-Party wristband.

I tried to persuade her people to give me one too but she left and only said I’m sorry :( I was screaming and jumping around more than those girls! Urgh. So I nearly lost half of the energy and enthusiasm to enjoy the concert after that. But then I thought, FUCK THAT. This is THE night of my life I’m going to enjoy it like there’s no tomorrow so I was back to singing and jumping around :p

(Since I was devastated I didn't take any picture, so here's one credits to tswiftdaily.tumblr.com)

The background was BEAUTIFUL. Her vocal sounded best during this song. It must've been hard for her to sing such a deep, personal song to thousands of people. It's like reading your diary out loud.

Caitlin, Taylor's violin player between songs. Taylor was busy changing costumes.

11) Enchanted – Omg she looked SO beautiful in this long and sparkly dress!

And the big screen showed this magical, forest-themed background so as if she’s in it. SO breathtaking.

^ NOT my picture. Credits here.

And halfway through the song she ripped the bottom half and the train of her dress and so she only left wearing a short dress. LOOOVE IT.

12) Long Live – I cried the first time I listened to this song! And halfway through the song she introduced her band members and asked them to come forward. Which any Taylor Swift fans should already know their names. I thought this is the last song she’s going to sing because she went backstage and the lights were dimmed and so I started chanting ‘TAYLOR! TAYLOR! TAYLOR!’ and people around me followed! HAHAH.

13) Love Story – The last song, some people say it was an encore. She didn’t wear huge, Shakespeare-themed dress like she wore during the Fearless tour but it was still awesome. (Yes she changed costume for the last time).

And before she ends the concert, she said ‘Goodnight Singapore!’ and fell backwards! THAT WAS SO COOL. Here I tried to make a .gif picture; (see the rightest screen)

That was it. The concert ended at about 10pm.
The girls who got into T-Party was screaming and squealing and it got annoying so we left the stadium early after collecting my glow sticks that was all over the floor.

The concert.
1) IT WAS AMAZING. This is the first concert I've been to where I know the lyrics to every song. Before this for David Archuleta, Kris Allen, etc I don't really know the lyrics except the popular songs, which I felt dumb when they sang it and I just stand there quietly.

2) I was singing/screaming along to every song and jump and down and dance like I was high on drugs throughout the concert. People all around me was staring I don't even care. They must've thought I was crazy.

3) I was hoping she'd perform Haunted and Tim McGraw! :( Haunted because it's my favorite song from Speak Now and Tim McGraw is just classic and I have no doubts I'll cry if she performed it. But radios in Malaysia(and I assume Singapore too) don't play country songs which sucks, country music is so much better than pop/dance music here.

We took the MRT and was so glad we bought the return tickets before the concert because the queue to buy tickets was SUPER DUPER long! I think more than 50% of the people at the concert decided to take MRT. There were a lot of people, but it wasn’t as packed as I thought it would be so it was all good. We went back to the Bras Basah station and to our hotel straight after. YES MOM, we didn’t go anywhere else. We were tired anyway. We went back to our hotel and then my parents called and ask how was everything, blah blah blah. We had some difficulty in removing the yellow strap from the meet & greet because we didn’t want to ruin it and we had no scissors so we used this needle to cut it ahaha.

10 February 2011.
8am – 11am
Woke up, pack everything and took everything(the hotel’s shampoo bottles, tissues, tea, coffee, anything free bahahahah even toilet roll) and head down for breakfast. Yep we got free buffet breakfast!

Omg the food was delicious and there were so many choices! Took some pancakes(duh) and scrambled eggs and sausages and then planned to take waffles and other stuff later but already full. We went straight to the airport by MRT, again a 40 minutes journey and arrived at the airport.

This time we weren’t rushing as we’ve already checked in yesterday and took some time to use the free internet service again :P

This time I got a seat right next to the window so yay!

Cotton candy.

1:45pm
Landed safely in Malaysia! Home sweet home :) Bought some Kinder chocolates(which made my mom angry lulz) and again, took the KLIA Express to KL Sentral. Thought of going back with my mom but she finished work at 5:30pm and my sister really wants to go back home because she had some problems with her friends.

THAT WAS ALL! I wrote this in Microsoft Words and in total 4300+ words!

I was expecting to feel a, whatdya call that, withdrawal symptoms? You know like after a concert, or even during World Cup and when something ends you just feel sad and empty and don't know when it'll happen again? Yeah I was expecting to feel that but strangely I didn't.

And I wasn't even bummed that I didn't get my album cover signed because I got my iPod signed and you can actually buy a signed cd from her website. That makes it less, original haha. As for the T-Party, I found out it was just about 20 minutes and you can only get a group picture with your friends, and only one thing signed. Which is basically what I got anyway. I should be HELLA THANKFUL. Some people don't even get to meet her and I want to sulk just because I don't get invited for T-Party or my album signed? That'd be very, very, super duper stupid of me.
And honestly, I don't know why, but I get this strong feeling that I will meet her again someday. Though I'm sure not anytime soon, but someday? I sure hope so :)

Signed headshot(which after examining it for more than 10 minutes I am sure it was signed, not printed on).

WORLD TOUR! I don't know how to play guitar so maybe I can just turn one of these as a locket to my necklace or add to a charm bracelet :)

She signed my iPod WOOOHHHH. Oh yeah if you didn't know I had 'Live in Love' engraved on it :) It's from a bracelet Taylor Swift used to wear. I've had this iPod for over a year now. And 261292 is just my birth date(which is exactly 13 days after hers haha).

I guess I'm done! PHEWWWW.
Hope you enjoyed it, despite the grammar mistakes and narrow vocabulary I just showed.

OH ONE MORE THING.
Let's do some maths on how much MTV had to spend for me and my sister for the whole thing(amount MTV paid, we still had to pay for train tickets, lunch etc.)

Flight tickets : $535.30 x 2 = $1070.60
Concert tickets : $150 x 2 = $300+(I don't know how much for the tax)
Accommodation(I checked their website) : $294.25

GRAND TOTAL : $ 1,664.85 = MYR 3,963.11

Well that's definitely my biggest win by far :P
THANK YOU Allah. Thank you MTV Asia, and not to forget, EVERYONE who voted for me, of course. :)

This is going to sound super cliche, but dreams do come true.

Mine did :)

UPDATED :
MTV emailed me our group pictures yesterday!

Eeeeeeeepppp. Some people said she looks like a wax figure hahah. She's just perfect.

Make-up.

2011-02-02T20:23:00.000+08:00

One of the stereotypes girls are labeled as is we take too long to get ready. Some girls spend too much time in the shower, some don’t know what to wear despite overflowing clothes in the closet(guilty as charged), and some take too much time applying make-up on their face. Now of course, like any other millions of stereotypes in this world, that does not apply to everyone. I personally take maximum 20 minutes in the morning to get ready in the morning. And my ‘make-up collection’ only extends as far as a compact powder, a lip balm and a black eyeliner for special occasions. I used to believe in natural beauty, I don’t need make-up to look pretty, blah blah blah. But I’ve also learned over the years that what’s wrong with wearing make-up if it makes you feel good and look good?

Yeah yeah ‘guys prefer girls without make-up’. Or do they really? For example this girl right here

Would you even take as much as a second glance if you bumped into the girl in the first picture? But a few dab of foundation and powder, blusher, mascara, eyeliner, a pair of fake lashes and contact lenses later, voila. Even if you don’t think she’s attractive, she definitely looks better in the ‘after’ picture.

I don’t think there is even one bride in this world who is make-upless on their wedding day. Except if she eloped, which is a whole another different story.

When guys say they prefer girls without make-up, I think that’s partly untrue.
Do they want to date a girl covered in inches of make-up? No.
Would they date a girl who looks good with a small trace of make-up? I think yes.
Would they date a girl who doesn’t wear make-up but complains every five seconds how she feels ugly and insecure? I think not.

Heck, guys wearing make-up is not even a new issue. Remember Boy George? Celebrities spent thousands of dollars on make-up artist just for one award show they have to attend. The make-up industry is a multi-billion dollar global industry. We have Youtube channels teaching girls how to apply make-up for different occasions and most videos even reach more than a million views. To think that make-up is a petty issue would be an understatement.

Boy George

Make-up is just one way some people wear to cover their flaws and/or to accentuate their best features. To deal with insecurities. No matter how good-looking and confident someone is, they will always have the one thing they’re insecure about. Whether their thighs are too muscular, their forehead is too wide, their eyes are too far apart. Sound silly? But that’s the reality some people have to deal with everyday. So if make-up can boost someone’s self-esteem without going overboard, without it being a mask to hide our true inner self, why not?

But of course it’s important to know when you’ve crossed the line. Too much make-up doesn’t look good on anybody and unacceptable for any occasion. Well except Halloween. And of course natural beauty is the way to go, but not everyone is lucky enough to be born with it. You can paste clichés like ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, ‘beauty is only skin deep’ on the billboards, screaming for attention but at the end of the day, whether we like it or not, we live in a superficial world where people don’t look at your personality first. People judge you automatically by your looks and only then try to get to know your personality.

That’s the sad truth. That’s how reality is.

- Written by me for my friend, Hafidzi's blog.

- I'm satisfied with this article, not HAPPY. Feel like it wasn't my best.

- When he asked me to join his 'The Malaysian Outsider' thingy I feel like how Ron & Harry felt when Hermione asked them to join SPEW.

- Writing for his blog made me realize what a perfectionist I am when it comes to writing. I don't know if I can even handle writing for major newspaper .__. I'd be writing for 2 days and edit it for a week before I'm satisfied with it.

- I've been receiving very, very good responses about my blog. Like I hardly receive one negative comment. While I'm flattered, it's just weird. (OHEY that rhymes)

- 100 FOLLOWERS!

Finally! Thank you so, so much to my beloved followers! I love you.

Golden ticket.

2011-01-27T22:31:00.000+08:00

So it begins.

American Idol is the only reality show I watch these days, unless you count Wipeout and The Bachelor. Okay just kidding, I don't watch The Bachelor(ette). No offense to their fans, but I'd rather get my leg broken on Survivor than joining a show that pretty much guarantees a broken heart as the consolation prize. It's just stupid.

Anyway moving on. So Idol has two new judges this season(way to go Captain Obvious).

1) J. Lo(who calls her Jennifer Lopez anyway?) looks really pretty! I've never realized how beautiful she was before. I mean I've always known she's famous for her curves and everything, but on Idol she just, *glows*.

2) Steven Tyler reminds me of Captain Jack Sparrow. But less good-looking, more sober, and more boring. I mean NOT that he's boring, I think some of his comments are hilarious but c'mon, compared to Captain Jack Sparrow, everybody will look bland.

3) 'One time, Randy Jackson punched me in the face. It was AWESOME.' - Molly DeWolf Swensen, a.k.a the White House intern. (If you're awesome enough to know what movie that reference was from, congratulations). I LAUGHED AND SCREAMED DURING THAT PART OMG. DYING.

The contestants so far.
When it comes to rooting for people, I am in a constant dilemma. I've told this a million times before and I'll say it again, I feel like a jinx! When I root for someone, they'll end up losing (except for a few rare occasions).

But the ones that stood out(doesn't mean they're the best or I'm rooting for them, but just the ones I can think of right now) for me so far are;

-Scott Dangerfield.
LOVEEEE. He reminds me of Clay Aiken(really though, every season there will be at least one. Nerdy-looking, turns out to have a great voice.)

-Travis Orlando.
I actually forgot his name, and I Googled 'american idol audition red shirt skinny jeans' and found it. LOL.

-Chris Medina
OKAY. Everybody is buzzing about him. His audition video on Youtube hits two millions views in just two days. Personally, I think he's just good. Not GREAT or AMAZING. But his story? That's true love.

That's just my two cents. And OH, I'm betting my appendix that someone will perform Grenade by Bruno Mars on the show this year. I JUST CAN FEEL IT :P

To end this blog post, I shall leave you with two of my all-time favorite performances on American Idol.

Blake Lewis(season 6) - You Give Love A Bad Name.

Megan Joy(season 8) - Walking After Midnight.

Couldn't embed it, click here if you want to watch it. Lulz.

Abu&Mus ; I love that one time when we were in the car and we heard Ryan Seacrest said 'American Idol' on the radio and we all screamed at the same time HAHAHAHAHAHA. Craziness.

ps; I also want to say a quick thank you to whoever congratulated me on.. you know :p I wish I can make you smile like how you made ME smile!

Swift.

2011-01-22T12:14:00.000+08:00

"Oh my God you guys, this means so much to me! Wow I just want to say THANK YOU to my parents, siblings, my friends, strangers on the street, Justin Bieber, teachers, ex-boyfriend, and whoever invented sleeping pills, pancakes, Oreos, and pillow for this award."

Okay hold up. Let's rewind a few months back. (This post is going to be super duper long. And the title should be obvious what this is about.)

17 December 2010.
Today, I found out MTV Asia is doing this contest where the winners will get a pair of tickets to Taylor Swift concert live in Singapore, meet & greet passes, with the flight and accommodation included. All you need to do is submit a video/picture/text saying how much you love/can relate to Taylor Swift, and then MTV will approve it, and it will be opened to the public to vote.(But seriously, nobody will go to the MTV website to vote for their favorites. The votes will only come from your friends and family.) The person with the highest number of votes from Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Hong Kong will win it. Yes that means there's only ONE winner from Malaysia.

So I did not submit anything straight away because the closing date is on 16 January 2011. I thought all of the submissions will be compiled and then on the 16th, it will be open for voting. Wrong.

1 January 2011.
I decided to check the website again and imagine my surprise when there were already entries open to be voted. The highest vote from Malaysia at this point was already 1500+ votes. My heart just sank. How can I catch up? I wasted no time and submitted my text entry to MTV(it was basically the same like the speech I did last year in my public speaking class if you remember, I just edit a few things). BUT, it was on a Saturday. I know I have to wait till Monday for it to be approved.

2 - 4 January 2011.
I decided to stalk some people who're already in the competition and asked how long did it take for MTV to approve their submission. Some 8 hours, some 2 days. Some didn't even get approved! At this point I was beyond paranoid. I couldn't sleep. I took these pills for flu because it'll cause drowsiness and then only I can sleep. I didn't have flu at all but I took it anyway because otherwise I won't be able to sleep! Luckily college hasn't started yet.

5 January 2011.
I already feel like giving up. Then of course, whenever I feel down, I'd read. (Decided to make another post about this later). So anyway, JUST when I already feel like giving up, that evening, I checked the website and my entry was approved and available to be voted. I felt like I just witnessed a miracle(cheeeeesyyy, but true!)
Now all I need to do is catch up with the votes. Me = 0. Her = 1600+.

6 - 15 January 2011.
It wasn't easy, at all. BUT I do have one advantage. I know her twitter.(Damn I'd make a good ~~stalker~~ investigator hahah) And her twitter isn't like mine where it's @mynamehere, but something like those fangirls' twitter that have some teen star's name. And it wasn't even Taylor Swift. Not @anisswift or @trueswifty or something like that. She's a Miley Cyrus fan. And she has way more followers than I do(the fangirl world is huge, consists mostly Beliebers). So anyway, I know her twitter and found out, she's in form 4 which means she'll go to school(uh duh). And I have no class on Wednesday and Friday. And THAT'S when I try to catch up with the votes. How? I ask people on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. I have 2 or 3 friends on tumblr who has A LOT OF FOLLOWERS and ask them to ask their followers to vote. And also on twitter, I made a separate account and tweet a lot of people haha. And Facebook, I ask some of my friends who has almost 1000 friends to ask their friends to vote for me. The last few days before 16 January(Sunday) were the craziest.

At that time I already manage to lead the votes by about 500(you might think that's a lot, but she can catch up in just a few hours) and as long as she's online, I won't turn off my computer. I only slept like 4 hours on Friday night and NONE AT ALL on Saturday night. Yes I'm still awake at 6am.

You know what's my biggest motivation? Of course meeting Taylor Swift and everything, but I just don't want her to win out of all people. She's just one of those 'fangirl' who likes Taylor Swift for her popular songs, not a true fan since her first album. ~~And in her text entry she said something like wanting to touch Taylor's hair. OKAY WTF.~~

16 January 2011
It's the last day. I'm still leading but she still hasn't given up. And if you saw my tweet/Facebook status 'I need you hopeless'(taken from Jennifer's Body haha), that's for her. I want her to feel how hopeless I felt when she's already leading the votes and I started 2 weeks later than her with zero.(She started like on 22 December)
On the rules and regulations, it said the votes will be closed at 16 January 2011, 11.59pm. But guess what? It's still open for voting at 1am+. And she still hasn't given up! At this point I'm already leading by about 800 votes. I think she decided to go to sleep at about 2am and that's when I go to sleep too.

17 January 2011
I woke up and saw I'm leading the votes by 1000+. Phew. And it's on Monday which means she has to go to school and there's no way she can catch up. I called MTV at about 12pm wanting to ask why the voting is still on but nobody picked up. I double checked and the voting has been closed! Final votes? Me = 9180. Her = 8154. 9180 votes, that means 765 votes PER DAY FROM 5January - 16January.

17 January - 21 January 2011
At this point there's nothing else I can do but wait. Although it's pretty much confirmed that I'm the winner, I just want it to be official that I won before I celebrate anything. And then on 21 January, Friday, I received a phone call that changes everything(cheeeeesy, but not exaggerating either)

MTV : Hi is this Anis Filza?
Me : Yes... (omg omg omg)
MTV : Hi my name is *** and I just want to congratulate you for the Taylor Swift contest, you're the winner from Malaysia --
Me : Oh my God!!! Aaah! ---
MTV : Okay okay before you start screaming, how old are you?
Me : 18.
MTV : Okay great! Who are you planning to bring along to the concert?
Me : My sister.
MTV : How old is your sister?
Me : 20? 21?
MTV : Girl how can you not know how old is your sister? *laughs*
Me : I'm not sure! She's turning 21 this March hahahah
MTV : Okay great then we will email you the details and everything regarding the contest. Just to make sure your email is [my email here]
Me : Yes yes correct.
MTV : Great we will email you everything then.
Me : Okay oh my God THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
MTV : You're welcome! Congratulations again!

Okay that's not the exact conversation, but it was pretty close to what I remember. And then after that phone call ended I JUMPED AROUND THE HOUSE AND DO ALL THESE SILLY STUPID DANCES THAT I AM SURE WILL HIT A MILLION VIEWS ON YOUTUBE WITH THE TITLE 'GIRL DOING THE SILLIEST DANCE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD' AND EVERYBODY WILL LAUGH THEIR ASS OFF WATCHING IT. It was just aaaahhh!!! HAPPINESS :)

I love how in the email she wrote :

"Hi Anis,

Congratulations! You have won the MTV Taylor Swift Contest!!!!*SCREAM*"

HAHAHAHA the *SCREAM* part was so cute! And then she asked for my details and my sisters blah blah blah.

So yeah. That's pretty much it. The concert will be on 9th of February, Singapore Indoor Stadium(which I went to last year with zero hope of going to her concert and look where I am now!)

Okay I don't know how to walk the line between sharing this good news, sharing my happiness, and showing off. Because I'm not showing off. I'm not bragging that I win. It's something that I've always wanted and I think everybody deserves that 'dream comes true' moment and when that happens, you will want blog/tweet/update your Facebook status about it! Muhahah. Speaking of which, I updated my Facebook status with 'GUESS WHO'S GOING TO SEE TAYLOR SWIFT LIVE IN SINGAPORE NEXT MONTH?! :D OH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT.' and so far that got 23 likes! I used to rack my brain trying to think of something witty to put as my status and got only 3 likes -,- But I'm sure those 23 people are happy for me and I'm glad about that! :)

SHOUT OUTS :
These are the people who helped to promote me and I'm forever thankful to them.

On Facebook;
SATPAL.
ABU.
MAMAT.
MUS.
AMIRUL AMIDIS.
MY SISTER.
LINA.

On Twitter;
IFFATH.
ZEE.

On Tumblr;
CHA.
AYUNI.
AQILAH.

I don't know who else, but if you clicked the link I gave and voted, THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH from the bottom of my heart!

Let's look at the ~~loser~~ hater shall we? (Notice how she has Miley freaking Cyrus as her default picture and background)

Okay 'death threats' I can take, but this?

I'm not even a fan of Taylor Swift?

YES.
I didn't buy all of her cds right after it comes out, I didn't give a speech in front of the whole class about how she influences my life, I don't know the lyrics to her songs, I didn't spend hundreds of ringgits on her merchandises, I didn't cry when I found out she's not coming to Malaysia, her songs are not on top 10 most played songs on my iTunes omg no. I'm not her fan at all! OMG!!!!!

Is there any form I need to fill in, tasks to complete to 'declare' I'm a fan of hers? NO? OKAY. And fyi, that girl who said I'm not even a fan of Taylor? She's not even following Taylor Swift on twitter. And THAT makes her a bigger fan than I am? Ummmmm, okay. I don't need to prove to a stranger that I deserve that prize more than her. I know my parents, siblings and closest friends know how much I love her and that's all that matters.

Want to know what's one of the best advice/quote/saying I ever read?

DON'T LET IDIOTS RUIN YOUR DAY.

Forte.

2011-01-14T10:23:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY!

Haven't updated my blog in a while. But I'll just make this a quick one.

I started my third semester(already!?) and this semester I'm taking

FRE101 - French for Beginners

I have zero knowledge about French except bonjour and je t'aime. It was really confusing! ._. But at least it's not a subject I have to read up a lot(like history) and I can just Google everything. My lecturer is a Chinese woman who is 70 years old! But I swear she looks, 50. Or maybe 55. She told us her life story and how she studied in England and then got a scholarship in France blah blah blah. She also has worked as an interpreter(sounds interesting, I might want to check that out later) and traveled the world.

I think if there's one thing I'm good at, it's getting the pronunciation correctly, very fast. Haha.

And in the first lesson she said, 'after you've learned some basic words, you can start writing poems in French' and then we were all like

ANT101 - Cultural Anthropology

This is quite a huge class, with 45 students. ~~And some of the people I loathe to see because they think they are OH-SO-COOL are in it.~~ Got my group members for the field trip, and they look like the kind of people who can do jobs. Haha. So far the subject looks very interesting. And the lecturer isn't so bad.

REL200 - World Religions

Both of the classes start at 8am! Urgh hate waking up so early. And it's so freaking cold in the morning when I come out of the shower I was freezing, shaking, shivering as if it's winter in Malaysia. I'm not kidding.

Anyway the lecturer was really good, but my classmates aren't the talkative kind so whenever he asked a simple question(like why do you study?) it was as if someone just asked how old was Einstein's mother when she gave birth to him. LULZ.

It was all very ~*~*deep*~*~ stuff like how do we know God exists and everything and I think Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom already has the answer. Bahaha.

MUS105 - Music Appreciation

I tried to learn keyboard, which I failed miserably. There is NO ONE in my family that has a music bone in their body. Seriously. We started learning some tempo, beats, rhythm and all that thing and I couldn't really understand it.. uhm. We'll see how this one goes.

OH, NOT TO MENTION. I have to(repeat : have to) go to a concert and that counts 10% of the whole marks. WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT.

I entered this contest by MTV Asia to see Taylor Swift live in Singapore. If you've been reading my blog long enough you'll know just how much I luuurrve her. To win, I need to submit an essay/picture/video(I chose essay, it was about the same as my public speaking speech with the cheesiness turned up) and then I need votes.

SO PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU,

TO CLICK THIS LINK TO VOTE FOR ME.

It will literally take less than 5 seconds. One click, THAT'S ALL. No registration, it's not Facebook likes, no email, nothing. Just click, and you're done.

I'll really appreciate if you could post the link on your Facebook status(like my good friend Satpal did, thank you) to vote for me. To make it more interesting don't la say 'click to vote', say something like 'OMG THIS IS AMAZING! CHECK IT OUT!' or 'I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!' Hahaha. Just anything you can think of that'll make people click it. I've shortened the link if you want to copy to your status/tweet : http://3.ly/6qs3/

Contest ends this Sunday so hurry! You can vote once a day.

PLEASE MAKE MY DREAM COMES TRUE? :)

Thank you.

Addicted [2010 Edition].

2010-12-29T19:35:00.000+08:00

DUN DUN DUNNN.

Okay let me just say I suck at book reviewing.
And since I wrote these ~~reviews~~ comments now, as suppose to right after reading the books, I might not do the books justice. And I don't think I deserve the title bookaholic anymore T_T

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and these are mine. Feel free to disagree.

BOOKS I'VE READ IN 2010.

* 11, 12, 13 - borrowed from college library.
* 17 - borrowed from this one book shop at Central Market

1) Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Comment : Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I couldn't have chosen a better book to start the year with. It's basically about a girl, who committed suicide, and left this 13 tapes to 13 of her schoolmates. I don't even want to tell you what happened because I might spoil it, but it's so far, one of the top three TOTALLY UNPUTDOWNABLE books I've ever read. I just want to know what happens next? WHAT HAPPENED? THEN!? OMG. There's just something about a book about suicide that makes you want to keep on reading.

Rate : A+
For more info : click here

2) That Summer - Sarah Dessen
Comment : I love Sarah Dessen, but this book is just forgettable. Although relatable to teenagers, the story and the characters seemed a bit cliche. Recommended if you're below 15 years old. But if you're older, there are a lot more interesting young adult book you might want to read.

Rate : B
For more info: click here

3) All About Vee - C. Leigh Purtil
Comment : I've read another book by this author before and enjoyed it, so I thought I'd give this one a shot. And I'm so glad I did. It's about a plus-size girl who dreams of being an actress in Hollywood. Instead of being insecure about her body, she knows what she wants and she's confident for it. There's enough depth in the story that sets this book apart from all 'making it in Hollywood' type of book.

Rate : A
For more info : click here

4) The Song Reader - Lisa Tucker
Comment : It happens all the time - having a song stuck in your head all day long. And what does 'the song reader' do? She(Mary Beth) decodes the song to help her clients deal with their problems. Now how cool is that? I wish a 'song reader' does exist. Anyway, the story was rather enjoyable, though the ending was a bit abrupt and left the reader(maybe it's just me) with some questions unanswered.

Rate : B+
For more info : click here

5) Red Tears - Joanna Kenrick
Comment : I'm pretty sure I bought this book at less than RM 10, at this book bargain sale. This is the first book I've read on cutting/self-harm, and boy that's some powerful stuff. It's very realistic, and even though I'm sure the author wants the reader to know the bad effects of cutting, it might just trigger ex-cutter to start the habit again. That's just how powerful it is.

Rate : A
For more info : click here

6) Hush, Hush - Becca Fitzpatrick
Comment : BETTER THAN TWILIGHT. Okay it's not about vampire, but it's about fallen angels - a sexy, badass one too ;) The main character, Nora is not clingy and annoying like Bella. Great plot twist, believable character(only main flaw I can't help but notice is how can a mother left her daughter at home alone way too often ._.) Bottom line is, goodbye Edward, hello Patch. (Okay that was a tad dramatic I still love Edward) *sparkle sparkle*

Rate : A+
For more info: click here

7) The Lucky One - Nicholas Sparks
Comment : Nicholas Sparks is overrated. There I said it. The book was, good. NOT MIND-BLOWING AWESOME LET'S MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE kinda book. But of course, just like 481073628174 of his other books, it will be made into a movie(starring Zac Efron). This is his second book that I read(first was A Walk To Remember) and sadly, I don't think I will buy anymore of his book. Borrow, maybe.

Rate : B-
For more info : click here

8) Crank - Ellen Hopkins
Comment : I think I finished this book in one day, because the book was written in this poem/poetry kind of way. That rhymes! Haha. It's true that less is more, because even though the author did not write it in 'essay-like' nature, the short poetry is enough to send the powerful message across to the reader - how drugs can destroy a person.

Rate : A-
For more info : click here

9) Lock & Key - Sarah Dessen
Comment : Another Sarah Dessen book. I think this one is slightly better than That Summer, though the ending was very predictable. Being someone who doesn't open up to people often *cough* the character was relatable, and the story unfolds beautifully.
Rate : A
For more info : click here

10) The Other Hand - Chris Cleave
Comment : The synopsis at the back of the back was very unique. It didn't reveal what the story is about, but more like 'We don't want to tell you too much about this book. It is a truly special story and we don't want to spoil it.' There was definitely an element of surprise, and it's not the kind of book I usually read. I think the story was a bit weird(and creepy at some parts) and along the way I felt like the author doesn't know how to end the story. All I can say is it's definitely, different.

Rate : B
For more info : click here

11) How It Ends - Laura Wiess (borrowed from college library)
Comment : Hanna is a normal girl who wants to be in a relationship with this guy who is totally wrong for her, and then there's Helen, her next-door neighbor/grandmother. I enjoyed Hanna's part of the story(though rather cliche), and Helen's part of the story was pretty intense. The book started out good, gets weird towards the middle, with a shocking ending.

Rate : B
For more info : click here

12) Have A Little Faith - Mitch Albom
Comment : One of my all-time favorite author. Although involves Jewish and Christian, it favors neither and when other religions were mentioned, it was factual and in no way offending. Mitch Albom has never failed to impress me with his simple, yet well-chosen words and effortless flow of story. This book made the readers realize to refocus life on things that matter - love, hope and faith. Forever a fan of his books? I think yes.

Rate : A+
For more info : click here

13) The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Comment : Absolutely beautiful. More of a story of life after death than a mystery(everybody knows who is the killer from the start anyway), sometimes it's painful to see how the family cope and fell apart. Definitely shed a tear here and there, sometimes it moves a tad bit slow, but the way it was written was anything but boring.

Rate : A-
For more info : click here

14) Perks of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
Comment : I've heard so much about this book and began searching for it everywhere since last year. Thank God I finally found it. It was published 11 years ago! Overall an easy read, honest and captivating. I like how Charlie, the main character wasn't perfect and that made it much easier to connect with the story.

Rate : A
For more info : click here

15) Live Bait - PJ Tracy
Comment : Mystery and crime solving are not really the kind of book I would read, but I think I bought this at like 70% discount or something. I think the story was, okay. Although there seems to be two stories that ended up related, it's not confusing. The details made the story easy to imagine, though not very believable. A good book, not really recommended, and I think I would just stick to watching CSI.

Rate : B
For more info : click here

16) Does My Head Look Big In This - Randa Abdel-Fattah
Comment : I don't 'want' to read this book, I need and HAVE to. Being a Muslim girl, wearing tudung(aka hijab) in a country where Islam is the main and official religion is easy enough. But this book pretty much answered my question; what if I was born and raised where a Muslim is considered a minority? The racism and discrimination Amal felt was eye-opening. I can relate surprisingly well at one point in the book, where Amal tried to find a part-time job and was declined ONLY BECAUSE she wears the hijab. I've experienced the exact same thing. Very well-written, witty, and easy to read. This book does not preach and I believe non-Muslims can read this book and learn a thing or two about Islam without being overwhelmed of it all.

Rate : A+
For more info : click here

17) The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Comment : I can't even begin to tell you how beautiful this book is. Technically the storyline was great, but it's the language. The language! It's so, delicately written. You know with some (thick) books, the author used so many different words to describe a setting/feeling, but with this book, the words were simple, yet meaningful. Impactful. You can feel the heartache, the joy of the main character.

Rate : A+
For more info : click here

18) Willow - Julia Hoban
Comment : Another powerful book on self-harm. I love how the ending is not too cliche, and the author didn't sugarcoat the story with too much romance(okay there IS a guy, but it's not 'she met a guy and everything gets better' kind of way) and the emotions portrayed was heart-wrenching. I can feel the depression, the guilt and how helpless the characters felt. Definitely recommended.

Rate : A+
For more info : click here

19) Crescendo - Becca Fitzpatrick
Comment : The sequel to Hush, Hush. What a great roller-coaster ride it was reading this book! Awesome plot twist, though I felt more confused than ever after finishing it. There's a third book in the making and I want all my questions answered! Amazing sequel nonetheless.
Rate : A-
For more info : click here

20) 21) 22) 23) Harry Potter Book 1, 2, 3, 4 - JK Rowling.
Comment : What can I possibly say that hasn't already been said about Harry Potter books? (I know. YES I've never read any of Harry Potter books till now. DEAL WITH IT. And I planned to read all 7 books before this year end. Failed.)

Rate : Infinite A+
For more info : click here

FINALLY DONE. Phew.

2008 [click here]
20 books
7983 pages

2009 [click here]
15 books
5382 pages

2010
23 books
8668 pages

I'm still disappointed! Aimed for 50 books this year :(
Oh well. Still proud of myself, though like I said I don't deserve the title bookaholic anymore. Blergh.

Hope y'all have a good year ahead, and keep on reading! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to shower and get ready to go out and buy more books!

No seriously. I'm going out with my family after this.

“The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives.”
— Roald Dahl

ps; I just found out Kinder products(Kinder Bueno, the Kinder eggs) are not sold in the USA? O__O That's so weird! Apparently it's only sold at like, European chocolate store or something. We can get them here at pretty much every grocery store! I LOVE BEING MALAYSIAN.

Eighteen : part two.

2010-12-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

Okay I was being a little over dramatic in my last post.

The truth was, we planned to go to IKEA that night, but since my dad read this one tweet saying there's a massive traffic to go there, my parents decided not to go. And so I was 'yelled' at for crying. ~~Apparently it's illegal to cry when something you've been hoping to happen, got canceled at the last minute.~~

My mom wasn't working the next day(Monday) and so we went to IKEA on that day. And so everybody was happy. And yes we did not buy a birthday cake this year. (Which means I didn't have any candles to blow and make a wish, boo) but nobody in our family likes cake that much, so it'll be a waste anyway.

THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DID I GET FOR MY BIRTHDAY?

DUN DUN DUNNN.
Well peeps, I got this.

(back of shirts)

My reaction when the parcel arrived :

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS THAT EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING.
OMG.

And no this wasn't the case where my parents bought me something they know I will love, but the case where I begged, and begged, and begged my parents to give me the money and buy it.

So anyway, I bought all of it from Taylor Swift's official online store; which is this.

- 2 shirts(it was on sale, buy 1 free 1 kinda thing HAHAHAH)
(first shirt here & second shirt here)
- a scarf [link]
- a bracelet [link]
- and a lanyard. [link]

On top of that, I also bought these two bracelet(link here & here) quite a long time ago, not together with the things above. (My parents don't know coz I used my own money :P HEHEH)

It was ~~quite~~ very expensive but was so, so worth it :)
I didn't technically order straight from her website, but through someone, who has a friend who lives in the US, and got it shipped here, which is less expensive than ordering from her website.

K I'm done showing off. SO SLEEPY right now.

My blog has been pretty shitty for the last few weeks.
Next post : list of books I've read in 2010! HEHEHEH :D
(Gotta warn you it's not a lot though)

Eighteen.

2010-12-26T19:35:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday, Anis. Here's to wishing next year's birthday will be better.

LOL WHO ARE WE KIDDING. NEXT YEAR WILL BE JUST AS GREAT, JUST AS AWESOME! WOOOHOOO!

She's not a saint,

2010-12-24T20:04:00.000+08:00

and she's not what you think, she's an actress, WHOOOOAAAAA

SHE'S BETTER KNOWN FOR THE THINGS THAT SHE DOES ON THE MATTRESS

WHOOOOAAAA ~~

Lyrics from Better Than Revenge HAHAHAHA.
'The things' I do on the mattress? Sleep, read, and surf the internet. Though I am pretty sure that's not Taylor meant when she wrote that line of the song ;P

(that's not my room btw, it's my sister's.)

Randomness aside, it's Christmas Eve here so I just want to say MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE WHO CELEBRATE IT! :)

Have a great Christmas with your loved ones!

"Christmas. The magical time of year where you can scream "hoe hoe hoe" at slutty strangers & claim you were "being festive". Take advantage." - Lord_Voldemort7

It's their birthday!

2010-12-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO :

NUR AZLEEN FARAHIM & MOHAMAD MUSTAAIN!
Two of my ~~best~~ awesome friends (I think the word 'best friend' is jinxed for me because everytime I say 'this someone' is my best friend we'll end up growing apart, boo) celebrate their birthday this month!

This is the only picture I could find of both of you in the same picture haha. Otherwise it's all four of us :P

~~Since Alin's birthday is yesterday, 17th December, and Mus' is tomorrow, 19th, I've decided to post this on the 18th instead so it's in the middle between those two! HAHA.~~ I started writing this at like 11:30pm so it's already 12am and thus 19th December already T_T BUT, it's still 18th December in some countries! HEHEHEHE :D

I wish nothing but the best for both of you and WHEN THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO HANG OUT!?

Oh my God. Like seriously. Been planning since ages! -____- Whatever it is before 2011 I HAVE to meet up with you guys and Abu. If not I will personally drive to your houses and kidnap all three of you. OKAY!? Okay :)

I just notice I rarely do shout outs in my blog, haha so you guys are very, very special to me and if Taylor Swift go 'Back To December all the time', I go Back To February all the time because that's when we went to Genting and had THE TIME of our life ;)

To Alin :

I'll never forget the time we had together! From merely strangers at tuition, to close friends in TTJ, and ~~best~~ awesome friends in Ideal Heights! :D
Going back home from TTJ by KTM(ingat tak ada sorang laki cute yg senyum kat kita tu!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and accompanying me to meet Boys Like Girls at such a last minute and then went crazy and screaming the next day at school and nobody understood why ;) And that time you sent me back from school to my house, by motorcycle! HAHAHA nasib baik ada helmet! And all other moments that only we know and share :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALIN!

To Mus :

To this day, I STILL can't remember how I became good friends with you(and Abu!). We were in different class(except Agama, which boys and girls were separated). But I'm so glad to have you as my friend! You're my fellow Taylor Swift fan, bookaholic, One Tree Hill, Twilight, and other things we have in common. I won't forget that time we chatted late night on ym, about your past crush(AHEM HAHAHAH) and when Taylor Swift's band member, Amos replied me on Twitter and we got overexcited and jumping up and down(well I did, dunno about you HAHAH). Mesti dah lupa :P I'm so proud that you're taking Law, so if I got in trouble in the future I can just call you! HAHAHA. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUS!

You can check out Alin's blog here and Mus' blog here. <-- Free advertisement MUHAHA.

I LOVE BOTH OF YOU SO, SO, SO, MUCH! :)

Sending smiles.

2010-12-16T11:07:00.000+08:00

If you've been paying attention, which I'm sure you're not, lately I've been updating my Facebook status and Twitter with something like 'sending postcards to Croatia!' or 'Postcards successfully arrived in New York, Germany, China, and Finland!'

Now, what in the world am I talking about?

Ladies and gentlemen, it's called Postcrossing.

You can go the their website here. I've been a member for about a month now.

The tagline on the website said; 'send a postcard and receive a postcard back from a random person somewhere in the world!' and that is exactly what it is. Of course you can read everything you need to know there but as I have nothing else to do in this gloomy weather, I'll try to explain it.

How can I get involved in this thing?
1) Sign up for an account. Fill up the form, and give your valid, full house (and email) address. Your email is important because you will be notified about everything there.

2) If you want to receive a postcard, you have to send one first. So at the left bar, click 'Send a postcard'.

3) They will give you a random stranger's address and their profile(a copy of this will be sent to your email). Most likely in their profile they will state what kind of postcard they like and dislike, whether they want it in an envelope, if they like to collect stamps, etc. You will also be given a Postcard ID, like MY-12345.
* You might want to check the user's postcard wall and see if he/she has received a postcard from your country, and not send something like they've received before :P

4) Buy a postcard, write your message on it, and ALSO the Postcard ID(write it anywhere on the postcard but not on the address area because it might confuse the postman with that being related to the address.)

5) Put a stamp on it and mail it! The average time your postcard will be received by the recipient is about 10 - 20 days.

6) The receiver will then register the postcard based on the Postcard ID. You will be notified about this in your email, like this;

7) After he/she registered it, you're now in the line to receive a random postcard from a random stranger, from anywhere in the world!

8) And so the cycle repeats. The more postcards you send, the more you will receive!

I can make the simplest things to turn complicated but that's basically it!
Also if you're from Malaysia, one postcard typically costs about RM 1, though I found a shop in Lowyat that sells it for RM 0.80. DON'T BUY IT AT BORDERS. They sell it for like RM 1.80 each O_O
You can go to Central Market and there are a LOT of souvenir shops selling postcards.

As for the stamps, one RM 0.50 stamp is enough for one postcard, to anywhere in the world! :D

Is it safe to give your full house address?
I know you must be wondering the same thing. At first I was skeptical about it, you know how stalkers can easily get your house address and track you down. But so far, it's safe. They don't give out your house address to anyone, and they won't put it on your profile. Only the person who will send you a postcard will receive your house address.

So it's just postcards?
You can send anything! A letter, a gift, a birthday card if his/her birthday is coming up. But postcards are the simplest (and cheapest too) so most people,if not all, will send postcards.

What should I write on the postcard?
Anything! Most of the users there don't mind what's written on the postcard. But don't make it too short or just a simple 'Hello from Malaysia have a good day!'. Of course you can do it like that but I personally prefer to write something long(duh no surprise there). If it's a picture of KLCC, I would write something like it being one of the tallest building in the world and a good shopping place. Hahaha. I'm sure the recipient will appreciate that(eventhough it's something Google-able) more than just a one-word hello.

Any other questions you can refer to the website or can ask me personally.
So, picture time!

What I wrote. I HAVE HORRIBLE HANDWRITING I KNOW(and also I had too much to write so I had to make it smaller -,-)

I just mailed these two days ago.

I received this yesterday! It's from Taiwan.

What she wrote.

I JUST LOVE THE WHOLE PROCESS OF IT.

Buying postcards and stamps.
Writing messages on it.
Dropping the postcards in the mail box.
Receiving thank-you messages from the receivers.
Receiving postcards from someone, somewhere halfway across the world.

It's just, joy rising :D
(Yeah I borrowed that word from Oprah)
You made someone's day when they receive a postcard from you, which in turns made your day. And then when you receive a postcard, that, too put a smile on your face.

It's just a cycle of pure happiness and joy :)

Douchebag.

2010-12-12T13:52:00.000+08:00

~~Recently~~, Few months ago, I got to know a douchebag. Well he wasn’t always a douchebag, but now he is the biggest douchebag, jerk, asshole, bastard and anything along those lines.

Let’s call him Mark.

Okay first of all,

1) This is a very looong post. I don't know why I need to warn people when I do it but I just have to.

2) I've never used vulgarity in my blog, but this is an exception because of how mad I was at the time I wrote this, which I don't even remember doing so haha. Many, many months ago. I know some people use the F word all the time, but not me. I reserve it for moments when I'm really, really mad so it'll give more impact ;)

3) I don't even feel like posting this, because HE is not worth mentioning in my blog(so if your picture/name have graced the pages on my blog, feel special! Haha). I feel like if I do, I'm letting him win and I allowed him to hurt me oh-so-deeply. But I think this could teach someone a lesson, as I've learned it the hard way. And also because someone requested it. HAHA :P

4) Do not, I repeat, do not bring this up if we know each other in real life. What happened in this blog post, stays on this blog. I don't want to talk about it, discuss it, have Q&A session about it.

ARE WE CLEAR? :D

Okay.

Months ago, Mark somehow magically found my formspring and cut the story short, we became friends. Apparently he doesn’t have Facebook. But he made a Twitter just so it’ll be easier to talk rather than chatting at formspring. Okay just to set the records straight here; we are(soon to be 'were') friends. Period. Nothing more. I have no 'that' kind of feelings for him whatsoever. He even told me about how he supposedly have this two girls fighting over him and I was not jealous at all. He did use some sweet words but not in a flirty way ? Yea. I'm immune to sweet words anyway.

When asked for his pictures, he gave me this. Apparently he’s on the swim team. Whateverr.

He’s the second from the left. He cropped that picture and use it as his Twitter picture. On the right-est was his friend, Chas. Somehow he talked a lot about this Chas you would think they’re gay together.
He uploaded some more on his photobucket like this :

Again, more of that Chas guy. He said because ‘it was my camera so if you want pictures of me you would have to ask them.’ RIGHT. Oh by the way, I HAVE NEVER, EVER BELIEVED ANYTHING HE TOLD ME.

‘What’ did he tell me you ask? Well a lot. He tells me that he went to his dance ball in London. You want to read? It’s long and it’s boring but if you’re in the mood to read something amateur and lame, you can go here.

(I don't know if the links still work but if it's not, you don't miss much trust me.)

And he told me about his ‘first crush’.

Yup @markswimmer was his Twitter until he deleted it. More on that later. Don't bother stalking my Twitter to check what I tweeted him, I've deleted all of it.

Apparently he travels a lot, like Tokyo, San Francisco, and other places I don't remember. He did upload some pictures, but it was just sceneries. Okay say if you travel to some place, and you take pictures, for sure it'll be with you in it right? Or your family or friends. But him he just took pictures of the places without him in it. Strange. Unfortunately he deleted the pictures so I can't show you.

And so I asked for another picture of him. I was actually just testing to see if he can prove that he's real. Pffffft. He hesitated and then gave me a picture with his face half darken or something.

Like seriously dude?

And he uploaded some pictures of this two girls, Jan and Anui who were supposedly 'fighting' over him. BRB, PUKING.

Anui.

Jan.

Apparently the Anui girl 'clawed his chest'. Story here. Isn't he a good writer? It sounded like it came from a movie. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I WAS JUST KIDDING. I LAUGHED READING THE RIDICULOUSNESS, BULLSHITNESS OF IT ALL. After I finished reading it I was like, 'Are you fucking kidding me right now?'
He actually uploaded a picture of freaaaaaking Bruce Lee with his chest clawed.

I just want to emphasize this once again, I do not believe his stories for one second. I just pretend that I did. After he told me about it I was all 'oh get better soon' blah blah blah. In real life, I just rolls my eyes and thinking how to get him busted.

I KNOW he's lying. I KNOW the pictures aren't his. I KNOW the stories were all bullshit. But I just need to figure out how. I can't accuse him of it because he would for sure said everything he said was true blah blah blahhhh. URGH. You know, I actually told him about it. How I don't trust him at all. How can I know you didn't steal the pictures from somewhere else. And seriously, he didn't do a good job convincing me.

And so I dig up my inner CSI agent self and try to find a way how. After some Googling, I found this amazing website that can search images for you. A lot of website offers a search engine for pictures, like you type 'flower' and pictures of flowers will show up. But this one website, you upload a picture, and the website will find pictures exactly like it in different size or quality.

And so I upload almost every picture in his photobucket but none came up. BUT AT LAST, THERE WAS ONE PICTURE. AND CAME ONE RESULT. DUN DUN DUNN.
It was from a website about surfers. And true enough, the Jan girl was actually a famous surfer named, um I'll just put as 'L'.

I WAS HAPPY. I WAS THRILLED. DAMN the adrenaline at that time. AT LAST. HE IS INDEED LYING. There was no need to think 'oh maybe he just stole that one picture but the rest was real' or 'maybe his stories were real'. NO NO NO. HE IS ONE BIG FAT LIAR. AND NOW I HAVE PROOF.

Me being excited and all, tried to get him to chat with me on gmail. But he was busy. And then he disappeared for almost two weeks. I don't know if he knew I already found out, but he was just gone. I was like fine, whatever. I don't give a fuck anymore.

BUT THEN, two weeks later he showed up. With again, great little story he went on this adventure blah blah blaaaaahhhhhhhh. At this point you should know I'm already sick and tired of it all. On the end of that tweet he wrote 'Missed you with all your insecurities, wit, sarcasm, humor, and charm. That's really a lot to miss. Bye for now.'

You know what I replied? This.

He was avoiding me. I knew it. And the funny part is? He freaking check out my blog AND tumblr while doing that. (Don't ask me how I knew it. I put some code in my blog :p)

So I gave up trying to trap him in the chatbox and sent him an email.

Me(copied exactly from the email) : I've waited long enough. I know you checked out my blog and tumblr. Why are you hiding? Scared? It's pretty simple Mark. If you did nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about. Yeah yeah all guys hate the 'We need to talk' line. Okay technically we're not talking, we're chatting online okay. You don't need to open your mouth for god's sake. If you don't reply this email by Friday, I will block you on twitter and stopped talking to you altogether. But of course you can still check out my blog and see how much fun I'm having without you. That'd be awesome.

Just stop with the twitlonger with your stories and Chas, whatever. I'm not interested in that right now.

I know I have not exactly been the nicest person in the last few days, but I've waited long enough. If you don't want to chat, reply to this and I'll email everything I want to say HERE, not in the chatbox or twitter because it'll be too long and it's too private. Seriously dude, I'm not asking you to jump off the bridge for me. GOD.

-----------

He did reply the day after. And coincidentally, I was online at that time. In my inbox it showed the message was sent '1 minute ago'. Okay if he logged in into his gmail, he clearly signed out of the gmail chat. Avoiding me. Bluekk.

And so I sent him this long email explaining everything.

You don't have to read it really. It's not important.

I know when you're online. You sent that message like few minutes ago and you weren't online on the chat.
I'll just write everything I want to say RIGHT HERE.

I’m writing this to you because I don’t know how else I can talk to you since you’ve been M.I.A a lot. I hope you’ll read this. This is what I want to say and why I want to chat in gmail. But you were so busy. I get it.
Mark, I know about your lies. The pictures you posted on your photobucket, I know it’s not yours. Well at least for someone you called ‘Jan’. I figured out that she’s actually a famous surfer. All the pictures of her in your photobucket I found from her Myspace page. Maybe that’s where you stole it.
For your picture, ‘Chas’ , ‘Anui’ or whoever else, honestly I don’t know. But that’s what I ask myself, if you stole the pictures from someone, you sure as hell can steal others’ too. You want to know how I feel when I found out the one you claim ‘Jan’ is actually not her? I was HAPPY. I was THRILLED. I guess I should be sad or angry that you lied, but I feel glad and proud of myself. I didn’t believe and trust you. I’ve told you before in the gmail chat that I never trusted you. And about someone on twitter who turned out to be 40 something years old; I asked you about how should I know you’re who you say you are. Even after your explanation, I’ve always have doubts about you.
You lied to my face, Mark. Hah, ‘Mark’. If that’s even your real name. One thing I know for sure, you live in ***. Because I know your IP address. Of all your lies, at least you got one thing correct - I am indeed smarter than you.
What we had was pure friendship. And it was fun getting to know you. The ‘you’ you made up. How long do you think you can keep up with your lies? And most of all, WHY did you lie to me? What do you want from me? All of your stories, the London ball, the whole Jan/Anui thing? Did you made that up? WOW, you must be SO PROUD of yourself now aren’t you? Too bad I don’t believe any of it. The twitter (twitter.com/cowboytomm) is probably you too, made up another account to make it more believable. Pfft. You uploaded a Bruce Lee picture to show your ‘scratch marks’? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Grow some balls and upload a real picture of yourself.
You might be a 40-year old guy for all I know. Prove me wrong. Prove it to me that you’re who you say you are if that’s even possible.
Sure you can say I might be someone else too. If that’s the case, we can video chat. Face to face. That way you’ll know I am real. I am who I say I am. I have a blog for God’s sake. I post pictures of myself there sometimes. I have no problem assuring you I’m not fake. You on the other hand, hesitates even giving me ONE picture of yourself. Seriously dude?
Last but not least, I want to say THANK YOU. Did I mention I have major trust issues? OH yeah, I did. For good reasons. For people like you. So thank you for showing me people really can’t be trusted, especially boys. And thank you for your wonderful words, and our friendship. Unfortunately it’s very hard for me to befriend a big fat liar.
If this email is way too dramatic and harsh, I’m not sorry for it. I’m nice to everyone, but if you’re horrible to me, I can do something worse.
I hope you’ll reply this email and explain everything. I deserve the truth, ‘Mark’. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you. But if you don’t reply this, I understand. I’m having too much fun in my life right now to burden myself with a douchebag like you.

Ps; I’m dedicating this song to you – Fits you well! (I forgot what song it was but the title was Liar Liar or something like that haha)

Bye for now? How about Bye Forever? That sounds a lot better.

----------

You know what he replied?

Anis,

Everything I have told you was true. I had to change the "faces" to protect the privacy of my friends because they demand it. I have never been a bitch or showed any malice toward you and I never will.

Take care.

--------

Okay.
FIRST, that was the bullshit-est excuse I have ever heard in my life. In his photobucket, the caption clearly stated this is who, that is who.
SECOND, WHY THE FUCK would you 'change the faces'? For me to 'IMAGINE' that was your friends? This does not make any sense to me.
THIRD, You came to me and told everything about them. That 'Leona likes Chas', 'Anui clawed my chest', 'Jan is taking boxing lessons', BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. If you want to protect your friends 'privacy' so much, YOU wouldn't tell me those things. Those stories are way more private than some pictures. OHKAY?

I WAS FURIOUS. And so I typed up another long email and sent it. But I get another email saying :

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently.
Technical details of permanent failure:
The email account that you tried to reach does not exist.

And I checked his Twitter and it was gone, with @cowboytomm's too. (He was apparently Chas' brother.)

This just proves everything. That he lied about everything and YET HE DID NOT ADMIT IT. Even at the very last minute he wants to defend himself and said the stories were true!? Are you fucking kidding me? GOD I couldn't believe it. And he made up @cowboytomm to make his stories more believable, which was a MAJOR FAILURE.

You might be wondering why I still put up with him and his stupid stories. It was because he was actually a good friend. SHOCKING, I know. Despite all his lies, I had fun talking to him. We had like, 'smart' conversations. Talking about current world issues, what's happening in the society and all that. (But his jokes were extremely bad and lame. It wasn't even 'awesome type of lame', it was just fucking lame.)

And to 'Mark', whoever who are/were.

YOU are a douchebag. I don't know how many girls have you lied to, I don't know if your name is even 'Mark', your real age. I think you are actually a 40 year old pedophile. Yep honestly that's what I think you are. You know, all of your lies, you got one thing correct. I AM SMARTER THAN YOU. And you do live in [this one state in the US]. I have your IP address. WOW I AM smarter than you. Too bad I don't know anyone in the CSI team. I could track you to your house even. Pity.

I don't want to kick you in the crotch, I want you to live penisless. That's how much I hate you right now. I'll be genuinely happy if you were tossed into a public aquarium and munched by sharks. I'm not kidding.
I hope you have a nice life. And that someone will indeed kick you in the crotch with a baseball bat.
Last but not least, THANK YOU. Thank you for showing me that I can't trust anyone ever again, thank you for giving me a valuable lessons.

I would love to say 'FUCK YOU', but apparently 'fuck' is a verb. And that is one verb I do not wish to associate with you. Alright?

And piece of advice, if you want to bullshit and lie to someone's faces, make sure she is dumber and stupider than you. I am smart and you were a moron. Go out and make real friends. Don't make up characters and write stupid lame stories about events that did not happen in your life. Funny, you were the one who told me to go out and make new friends. I DID. And they didn't lie to me. And the guys I know actually have balls, unlike you. Lastly, I hope karma will slap you in the face so hard.

------

After that, we never talked again except a few times he wrote on my formspring how anything I say won't hurt him blaah blaaaaah blah. OMG URGH. I feel disgusted.

There you go peeps.

MORAL OF THE STORY : DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT BELIEVE ANYONE ON THE INTERNET. I DID NOT AND NEVER WILL. (Except a few people I genuinely believe are real.)
And if you post your picture on the internet, put some watermark on it so other people can't steal it and say it's their 'friends'. I haven't done this because I'm too lazy but I'll try.

Singapore; part 2.

2010-12-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

I highly doubt anyone will sit here and wait for my pictures to load and read my stupid captions but I'll write it anyway for myself :) I hardly write in my journal nowadays(boring life = boring journal) so I'm just going to blog about it.

DAY THREE : Cityscape.

Okay I look like Jenna in Pretty Little Liars, who is blind, with that sunglasses. But it was HOT so I had to wear it or else I couldn't fully open my eyes.

My dad put his camera on top of this dustbin because we didn't bring a tripod, and thus, the shadow on the bottom of this picture.

We went to this place called The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands. I think. I'm not sure the name. Haha. IT'S HUGEEEE. But the shops there are not opened to public yet, only some of them were. And we went to this Ferrari store(where my brother bought a fridge magnet and my father bought a cap) and they were playing 'Dear John' by Taylor Swift!

COOLEOOO. I mean it's normal when I hear shops played 'Mine', the single but 'Dear John' was rare! And then we went to Borders and even worse, they were playing the whole cd there. LIKE, OHKAY I KNOW TAYLOR IS COMING TO SINGAPORE NOT MALAYSIA NO NEED TO RUB IT ON MAH FACE.

Very tourist-y pictures FTW.

Omg I look like a chicken with its' head almost cut off -_-

My dad wants to update his Facebook profile picture too so ... HAHAH.

This thing is so cool! It was actually some, sort of, fan, or something. And it was actually made from recycled Starbucks cup! :D GO GREEN!

DAY FOUR : Swift visit.

I persuaded my parents to go to Singapore Indoor Stadium, where Taylor Swift will perform in February. Singapore is such a small country that going from one place to another didn't take very long! Hahah.

"UHU-HU-HU I IS VERY SAD BECAUSE I IS NOT GOING TO TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT."
No seriously. I am sad. Not 'was', 'AM'.

We just looked around outside the stadium. SIGHHHH. I'm on my way to the fifth stage of grief, which is 'acceptance'.

Then we went to Mustafa Center, again.

"Takde la coklat yang mama nak tu..."

Gotta say the chocolates here are quite cheap! There's this one Cadbury bar, which costs $4.50, which equals to about RM 10.85(converted at xe.com). Last time I remember, at a so-called 'tax-free' chocolate shop at the airport, it costs about RM 17.90! :O

And this is my mom and sister, waiting for my dad, and tired after shopping for so long HAHAHA.

Hugs or kisses? :}

OH MA GAAAD CHOCOLATE Y U SO AWESOME I LUV U ~~

SOOOO YEAH there ya go peeps. My trip to Singapore which happened in November/December 2010, not February 2011. Boo. Haha just kidding. I HAD FUN FUN FUN!

I know some family goes to UK, USA, Australia, France etc for holiday but I'm very, very thankful to get to go to Singapore :)

My biggest dream though, is to have my passport filled with stamps from countries all over the world!

...

Yeah Anis you can stop dreaming now.

Singapore; part 1.

2010-12-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

I'm home from Singapore! So I guess this post will be full of pictures, since I don't feel like writing much and not that many people read it anyway, so. Here goes. (I think the pictures will upload quite slow, so I would suggest you open another tab and let this page load for 3 or 4 minutes.)

DAY ONE : Getting there & grandpa's house.

We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast.

We brought my my sister's teddy bear along despite my mom being totally against it! HEHEHE.

Immigration check.

Then we arrived in Singapore after loooong 5(or 6?) hours.
First stop; my grandfather's house.

My sister with our cousin. BEFORE.

AFTER. HAHAHAHAHAHA. My sister couldn't believe there's a baby who're afraid of her. She said that was the first time a baby cried when he/she looks at her :P :P THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST TIME TO EVERYTHING, KAKAK. HEHEHEH.

Me with our cute(and hyper!) cousins. Yep they looked very Chinese. I don't really know my dad's side of the family and where they got the Chinese looks so I'm just going to leave it at that.

My toiletries. (Including toothbrush and face wash which I already put in the bathroom)

My sister's. COMPARISON.

Then at night we went to this place called Mustafa Center, where we shopped and shopped and didn't even realize it was already 12am! Hahahah. The shop opened 24 hours. Everytime I look at the price tag I had to do mental calculation, converting dollars to ringgits. We went to this place everyday we were there! -___- More on this in part 2.

DAY TWO : Universal Studios!

My mom & dad! THANK YOU FOR BRINGING US HERE ;)

Retarded jump shot #1.

OH MY GOD YOU GUISE. I think I've found the answer to my lifelong question! No wonder the humans, male population don't like me or find me attractive. IT'S BECAUSE FREAKING FRANKENSTEIN LIKES ME BETTER. This gives me so much hope to find husband from another species such as zombies, zombies, or zombies :') If everything else fails, I'll resort to vampires. Or the very least werewolves. Or aliens. YEZZZ. My life is complete.

Just kidding.

I definitely do not belong to a place where they count population with a noun. Don't they have maths there? Pssh.

Retarded jump shot #2.

Ogres!

Roller-coaster! SPOT ME! (Third row from behind)
I threw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying AAAAYYYYOOO, this roller coaster is real slowww.
Haha just kidding. It was ohkay. Like roller coaster for kids :p

So when I see a castle of course I have to do this;

This is where I'll get married. Y'all are invited.

"Yes I approve of the above statement." HAHAHA

Then we entered the castle where there's a 4D movie being shown. It's really fun! I think I've watched three 4D movies so far, one in Indonesia, two in Sentosa Island(which is in Singapore). And they were all very fun! LOVEEEE.

Dinosaurs are not allowed to smoke. OH U HUMAN? Y U NO SAY EARLIER. U CAN SMOKE.

My sister, brother and I went on this roller-coaster, the one with our feet dangling instead of the usual, normal ones. First time I ever went on this kind of roller-coaster and it was definitely exciting! At first I thought it's going to be slow and so-so since kids were allowed, but it was actually really fun and fast! So awesome. But we had to wait in line for quite some time. And there was this Indian guy who tried to cut queue and I said EXCUSE ME. Then I dragged my sister in front and he said sorry and I felt like such a bitch but whatever :P

That was supposedly a real dinosaur. I think it looked fake and plastic-y. I don't know. Just take a picture in case it was real. HAHA.

DAMN THIS ROLLER-COASTERS(yes there were two, intertwined) ARE NOT OPENED YET. BUMMER.

I honestly don't know what I was doing in this picture #1.

My sister and I went inside this building, which supposedly lead to a roller-coaster. Then we looked around the 'pyramid' and saw no roller-coaster coming in or out ._.

But we decided to try it anyway while my brother(dizzy from the earlier roller-coaster he went on haha) and my parents wait outside.

AND OH MY GOD IT WAS AWESOME. PURE AWESOMENESS. We didn't know what to expect, and it was REALLY dark to get inside, and the path to GET TO the roller coaster was confusing. Luckily the queue wasn't very long and we get to sit front row! YEZZZ. The ride was just AWESOME I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU. But it was dark the whole time so I had no idea whether we are upright or inverted. And there was one part where we came to a halt and almost hit the wall but some insects were coming out of the wall instead(fake of course) and we were pushed back and slide down real fast.
I can spend hours on end explaining about it but of course it won't be the same experiencing it yourself. It's a 'you have to be there' kind of thing :}

And then it rained. BOOOOO. So we bought this poncho. Quite useful but not for heavy rain I guess :p

Fake Subway.

I honestly don't know what I was doing in this picture #2.

It was written 'Broadway' on the sign. Going to the 'fake New York' only made me realize how MUCH I want to go to the REAL New York someday.

"Kakak tepilah bagi Anis ambik gambar dulu!"

"Aaa baru ok. Sibok jer kakak ni."

Among the merchandise sold. Supposedly Grammy awards? I don't know. Looks cute.

Marilyn Monroe stuff.

Po from Kung Fu Panda. Luckily we weren't in such a long queue to get a picture. After we left the queue started getting looooongger.

Elvis Presley stuff.

These cookies are HUGE! I bought the M&M one. Which reminded me, I haven't eaten it. Yet.

One of the best things at Universal Studios is we can take pictures in their merchandise stores! Most of the merchandise stores we went before like in Sentosa or Genting or any tourist place, we can't take pictures, at all. Here I saw people taking pictures wearing the cap or holding the plush toys and the staff didn't say anything. I thought that was cool.

The queue to get a picture with Shrek & Fiona was super long (almost like wanting to take a picture with a Hollywood celebrity seriously) so we skipped it. I've always wondered who were inside these costumes. Imagine if they were pedophiles getting to be with kids all day long omg scaryyyy. LULZ ignore me.

Then there was this show about special effects Steven Spielberg did on his movies or something like that. It was quite cool! The first time we were on the Splash Zone, and I already got my poncho ready in case we get splashed a lot but turns out it was nothing. Meh. Then since we had nothing to do we went again the second time but we were on the upper stage, so we didn't get splashed at all. The second time I put my pokerface on and acted unimpressed. Haha.

- So I guess that's all for now. I took some videos while we were there but I just found out my laptop doesn't have Windows Movie Maker, so I have to install that first to edit the videos.

- Overall Universal Studios was really fun! The only downside was I wore the wrong shoes and ended up with blisters :( Boohoo. But I would love to go there again, when the HUGE GIGANTIC roller-coasters already open to public! :D

-We went on Monday, even though technically it was a school holiday the crowd was, manageable. Not too many people.

-I didn't put all the pictures here, and even then it's already taking up the whole page! I might upload the rest on Facebook.

- Part 2 won't be much, just very tourist-y pictures of us in the city of Singapore.
To be continued! HEHEH.

Cheatah.

2010-11-23T18:36:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates! Here's a looong one to make up for it :p
(This was supposed to be posted on Tuesday but I was busy so here it is)

"Five minutes left."

Shoot.

"Time's up class, stop writing."

Insert every curse/swear words known to man. And woman. In every language.

To say today's Physics paper was hard would be an understatement.

I came in like 3 minutes late because I had to perform Zohor prayer. And when I looked at the first question, I was totally blur. Blank. I did other questions which LOOKED easy, but of course it wasn't that simple. 45 minutes in, the ideas came to me all at once and then I got confused and then I panicked and then I erased everything I wrote only to rewrite the same thing and then I felt like jumping out of the building but the windows are too high and so I took a deep breath and did the best I could.

I just hope I won't fail. Because then I would have to take it again next semester and I just can't stand it anymore.

But, something interesting happened.

I sat behind in the class and after our lecturer/examiner said time's up and began collecting the paper, I saw in the corner of my eye, this guy sitting beside me, slip a piece of paper inside his pocket.

ZINGGGGGG.

I was like should I or should I not tell the teacher? Then I remember TAYLOR SWIFT'S BEST ADVICE OF ALL TIME, TO SPEAK NOW and so I did. As the teacher approached my table and took my question paper and answer sheet, I said, "Miss, I think I saw a piece of paper inside his pocket."

He looked alarmed. And the teacher asked him to take that paper out and show it to her but he acted innocent. "What no no there's no paper." He patted his pocket to prove so, but didn't put his hand IN the pocket. I even pointed which pocket was it. (He wore this short with pockets at the side, like at the knee area.)

The teacher said she'll be back because she needs to collect other students' paper too (some of them were still writing) and so she walked away. What he did next was unbelievable.

He put his hand in his pocket and crumpled the paper, took it out, gave it to his friend who sat beside him, who happened to sit closest to the back door, and his friend opened the door and threw it out of the class.

In my heart I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

So I yelled, "MISS HE THREW THE PAPER OUT OF THE CLASS!" She looked at me and then him. That time the class wasn't so quiet but some people did hear me yell. However she didn't come to our place (still needs to collect other student's paper) and that's when he got mad at me.

Him : Okay what's the problem here?
Me : I was just telling the truth!
Him : That paper was nothing!
Me : If it was nothing then you shouldn't be afraid and threw it out!

Our classmates who sat near us just got treated with free drama of the day.

The teacher heard us and said that's enough. She said Physics student have to stay for awhile, but other students can leave.
The class was divided into two, one for students who're sitting for Physics and another for students who're sitting for some Mathematics subject. So I asked my friend who sat for Mathematics to take that crumpled paper outside. He gave it to me and then, The Guy Who Cheats asked for that paper so he can show it to the teacher. I gave it to him. The teacher looked at it for awhile and then said all of us can leave. But he stayed. I left the class and some of our classmates asked what happened.

I told this to my mom(the short version) and she said that paper might not contain what I think it contained. WELL I don't care. I don't want him to get zero or failed Physics, I just did what was supposed to be done. What was right. And if I kept quiet about it, I would feel bad and haunted by it. I should have, what if, what might've happened.

This isn't the first time I caught someone cheating in their exam. The first time was when I was in Form three and it was a girl(!) but I don't feel like writing about that.

Moral of the story here is,

1) Don't cheat. Even if you do, do it right dude! I'd be lying if I said I've never cheated in my exam before. THAT'S BECAUSE everyone else in my class did it too at that time! HAHAHAH. But not by bringing a stupid piece of paper in class but communicating with friends. If it's objective questions, there will be a hand sign for A, B, C and D. And there was one time in Form 5, omg. We passed around this small piece of paper tucked inside a stapler HAHAHAH. But those times we cheated was not during 'serious' exam, but just test or monthly exam like that. (I hope my future employee/anyone from US universities I'll be applying won't read this and deny my application. MUHAHAHA)

2) To my future boyfriend, if you cheat, I WILL find out. LOL WHO AM I KIDDING I AM FOREVER ALONE ~

I hate the feeling of knowing there's SO MUCH MORE to study when the exam is so near.
I hate the feeling of walking into the exam hall.
I hate the feeling of not knowing how to answer a question, and the marks allocated was a lot and I'll lose it.
And then what I hate most is, how my mind keeps going back to the question long after the exam and think is it wrong? What was the correct answer? Did I answer that? OMG THE ANSWER WAS THIS, THE ANSWER WAS THAT! Stupid how can I forgot that.

Okay I try to be all 'It's in the past, you can't change it, move on, what's done is done' but it's difficult knowing what's on the line for me. I know I didn't do bad enough to lose my scholarship, but I'll doubt myself. If doubts were a ghost, it's the haunted one I ever know. Not scary, but haunting.

PSSSHHHH I don't want to think anymore about this. IT'S HOLIDAY. AND IN EXACTLY ONE MONTH FROM TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. Er yeah not that I look forward to it so much, birthday just meant another cake, another day, another 'I hope my birthday next year rocks and better than this'. I don't think I'll even get a present this year. But I know my parents read this so mama & babah, it's NOKIA X5-01. The one we saw at lowyat. Okay? PLEASE? :)

And oh yeah, just enrolled for my next semester.
Bad news : I have 3 days I have to come to class at 8am, which means I have to leave the house at 6.20am.
Good news : Those 3 days are the only days I'll come to college! I have Wednesdays and Fridays off. WOOT.

But still not sure yet, I might change it on the first week or something.

HAPPY HOLIDAY TO (almost) EVERYONE! To anyone who still have classes, DUDE who goes to class in December!? December = holiday. And my birthday. Heh.

And then BAM!

2010-11-12T13:32:00.000+08:00

I've finished my second semester. My FREAKING LONG AND TORTUROUS second semester.

The ups and the downs. Oh my God. I've never been this stressed in my whole life. Compared to SPM in high school, even though I took almost triple the number of subjects I'm taking now, it wasn't as painful, somehow.

In college, the stress feels unbearable sometimes. It drains you completely physically and emotionally. It gets to the point that I can't take it and I cried. I would wake up and dread looking in the mirror for I know my eyes would look horrible.

My sister said I didn't look stressed at all. Maybe I'm just a good at pretending. Oh well.

My first paycheck OYEAHH. (Which I spent mostly on Taylor Swift new cd hahaa)
I worked as a student helper at the beginning of the semester and only received the money at the end of the semester. PFFT.

Physics class! From left; Seul Gi(she's from Korea! She's so adorable I love her), Rachel(the kind of bubbly person I wish I am), Ms. Jerry(our lecturer! She's great. She's very concern about us students and always ask how our day was and during break we chat with her like friends), Nandini(she also took American History, which I dropped lulz) and Anis(lame and anti-social, I don't like her)

My group members for our assignment. Group 5.
From left; Yong Cheng(he's super smart and leaving for Canada this December), Anis(lazy and complains too much it's annoying I don't like her), Mei Kuen(a bit psycho, in a good way), Qisti(also major in journalism like me which automatically translates to awesome) and Nandini.

Rachel drives to college and sometimes she would send me to the KTM station. Yay :)
Is it just me or I looked somewhat pale in this picture? ._.

Well that's it for now. I'm on study break which means I should be studying but here I am, online, and have Pretty Little Liars loading on the next tab. Oh yeah, I activated my Facebook account back. ~~What a stupid mistake I don't know why I did it I'm annoyed just by scrolling down my news feed urgh.~~

I have about 300 friends on Facebook and I just hid a lot of people so they won't be appearing on my news feed soon.

I don't know what else I should blog about other than stupid rants about my life so until my next post, you can watch me dance in a gorilla suit here.

A time capsule.

2010-10-30T11:17:00.000+08:00

This letter is not to be opened or read by 2017.

Dear Anis,

First of all, happy birthday! If you're reading this that means you're now officially 25. Do you even remember being 18? Time surely passed by sooo fast. Well not all the time. Remember how 5 minutes feels like an hour in microeconomics class? Good times.
And heyy the world didn't end in 2012 after all. Awesome.
And oh my God you had your braces off looong time ago didn't you? I'm stuck with this, metal gates for over a year and food gets stuck all the time urgh. MANNN I wish you can post a picture of yourself, I want to see how I look without the braces! And to see how fat you've become so I can work on that starting nao. HAHA.

I've always wanted to be a journalist, although ironically I rarely read the newspaper. So I hope you're working towards that. Remember how excited you were when your blog was featured on The Star? How they described you as 'aspiring journalist' and on that day no matter what happened at school, you came home smiling?
And when you (occasionally) do read newspapers, you look at the writers' name and said 'that'd be my name someday'? Or you see interviews with inspiring people and you wish you can change people's lives with your writing?
I hope you'll never forget that. That feeling. That adrenaline rush.

However if you changed your mind, that's okay too. I don't care if you turn out to be an English teacher or environmentalist with this OCD of having to be all GO GREEN and SAVE MOTHER NATURE freak. Because I know you can be fickle sometimes and at the end of the day, all I want is for you to be happy. I wish I can tell you 'dreams do come true' and all that crap but truth is, everybody dreams. And not everybody's dreams will come true. That won't be a reality, that'll be a fantasy.

I always have this fear of being a total failure in life. I wish you can tell me it's nothing like that for you. That your days are filled with smiles and laughters. And it's all real, not like me faking it everyday in college. I hope you're successful in everything you do, but never forget your family and friends. Right now I'm in that stage where you just hate your parents for simplest things (and seriously it's a hormonal thing) so I hope you appreciate them more now. Go give them a hug if you haven't in a while.
Your sister and brother annoy you sometimes but you annoy them twice as much! ;) So whatever issues you have with them, don't let your ego get in the way. (K I officially feel like a hypocrite now because I don't do what I said HAHAHAH well you're 25! Be wiser!)
Keep in touch with friends you had when you're 15, when you're 18. But also know that friendships end, and that's just how life works.

I've always wanted to go bungee jump in New Zealand and ride THE scariest roller coasters in the world. So now that you're 25 I hope you've crossed that on your list of Things To Do Before I Turn 30. Okay not that you even have that list but.. yeah. You're not getting any younger so go out there and have fun!

Other things on this "imaginary" Things To Do Before I Turn 30 list? Get married. Ooooohhh. My sister and I joked about marriage all the time. Like how I want my sister get married soon so I can have cute nieces/nephews. But now that you're 25, I hope you've found a great guy to settle down with. LOLOLOL I feel weird writing this. But, even if you haven't found The One, believe he's out there. Believe God has planned it all for you. If you just happen to be dating a total jerk, go kick him in the crotch and run. Because you're worth so much more than that. And then go listen to some Taylor Swift songs and watch Zombieland it'll all be better :) AND OH OF COURSE, NUTELLA. DUH.

Last but not least, stop hating yourself if you haven't already. I look in the mirror and 99.9% of the time, I hate what I see. I really do. But now at your age, stop worrying about it so much. Seriously. Make it a thing in the past. What you went through in your teenage phase. You're not perfect and nobody is. You have fats here and there and everybody has it too. And if a guy call you fat, mentally put them in a giant blender and switch it on. Then feed it to the zombies.
Never, ever let anyone make you feel less beautiful than you truly are.

All in all, I hope life has been treating you well. And even though you didn't go to New Zealand or travel the world or write for newspapers or smile all the time, it's okay! Be kind to yourself. You're alive, and that is something to smile about.

Nothing will change, but nothing will stay the same either. And never stop hoping. Hope always dies last. And most importantly, STAY FEARLESS, YO.

Love always,
Anis - 18 years old (technically, 17 years 10 months old)